


Basic Bitches

by Elle_Monson



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drugs, F/F, Jokes, Smut, but it's mild drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:48:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 51,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22835782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle_Monson/pseuds/Elle_Monson
Summary: I readPerdition(go read that way before reading this please) bymorningsound15and loved the idea of canon adjacent Bechloe being a cheating mess.Chloe's cute and likes Vampires.Beca's aloof and likes The X-Files.Aubrey probably believes in bigfoot.The Bellas exist hooray.We're all a little bit basic.
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 323
Kudos: 227





	1. We Never Stand Too Close

The first time Chloe has an _experience_ with a girl it's a pretty strange encounter. She and Aubrey are the most popular freshman recruited into the Bellas her first year at Barden. Aubrey lives in her building and Chloe complements her Chanel earrings at the first dorm get together. That's all it takes for Aubrey to replace Chloe's high school BFF. Aubrey talks her into auditioning and the Bellas pick both of them up.

They're young and cute and determined to make college memories and questionable decisions. That's probably why a Treble dares them to make out at the post initiation mixer.

Chloe looks at Aubrey and Aubrey looks at a couple of the older girls sitting with them. They both laugh and smile but it does little to assure Chloe. It's enough for Aubrey though. She looks back to Chloe and grabs her by the dress to pull her closer.

Chloe closes the gap between their faces and they're kissing. It's their first performance and Aubrey commits to it like she does to everything by running her hands through Chloe's hair and moaning into Chloe's mouth.

It's Aubrey so it's not that hot but Chloe is surprised by how much she likes Aubrey's floral scent, soft mouth, and smooth skin. It only lasts a minute or two and Aubrey acts embarrassed afterwards. She blushes and laughs a little too loudly. Chloe follows suit and they don't talk about it again. Aubrey acts a little standoffish for a couple days and then it's just like it never happened.

**

Chloe has this habit of sometimes just doing things so she can tell her friends about it. If she's had a couple drinks or something stronger, she likes to adventure around the campus, the bars downtown, and frat row. She's not exactly a whore but she's not a Madonna either.

Boys are a little bit crazy for her and she's a little bit crazy in general. She doesn't take any unnecessary risks but she's always down to try new things.

That's probably how she ended up having a threesome with a friend of a friend and his girlfriend. Twice. She enjoys the guy's attention, but she enjoys hooking up with the girl even more.

By now she's drunkenly made out with the non-prude half of her friend group but this is the first time she brings another girl to orgasm and...well...fuck it's pretty hot when the girl weaves her hand into Chloe's hair, using it to yank Chloe's head and tongue into just the right position and finishes noisily.

Chloe sets up round two with the couple. The second time is just as fun for her but a day after the guy sends her a Facebook message asking her not to text him anymore because his girlfriend is jealous and isn't interested in hooking up again. Chloe feels a little confused and a bit irked but, in the end, it was just another adventure.

Chloe tells the whole sordid story to her friends. Most of them hoot and holler and call her a baller, though Aubrey tsks at her and rolls her eyes (Aubrey can pull guys if she wants but keeps her one-night stands to herself, choosing to brag about landing long term boyfriends if she feels like showing off.)

**

When Aubrey pukes away their chances at an ICCA National Title Chloe can only feel sympathy and sadness. Despite Aubrey’s anal-retentive tendencies, she’s still Chloe’s favorite person in the world. The seniors graduate and that alone feels bad enough but to add insult to injury the other members of the Bellas quit. Most of them are rising seniors just like Chloe and Aubrey. They make excuses about finishing school with strong grades and focusing on their job searches, but Chloe’s pretty sure that's all bullshit.

She remains loyal to Aubrey and in the end it's just the two of them trying to fill eight or nine open spots. Aubrey is wound up so tightly that Chloe gets secondhand anxiety. As far as Chloe can tell it's only going to get better once the Bellas are back on track to compete for another championship.

That's how they wind up in the hot sun, sweating their asses off in their "Sunday Best" as Aubrey calls it at the Student Engagement Fair trying to pitch a cappella to pretty much every girl that passes

Chloe isn't sure why Aubrey is so focused on the way the girls look and is a little amused and relieved when Aubrey takes a liking to a ridiculous Australian girl. She's a walking caricature and she calls herself "Fat Amy" but her voice is solid, and Aubrey gives her a flier.

A couple minutes after Amy is through with her bizarre mini-audition Chloe sees another girl who fits their recruitment standards. Mostly she's a girl. That seems to be the main requisite now.

"Oh, what about her?"

"Ooh, I don't know. She looks a little too 'Alternative' for us."

Chloe has trouble believing this since the girl is wearing a cardigan not to mention a tank top, that she's pretty sure Aubrey has in a different color. Chloe is only trying to match Aubrey's energy and decides to push past Aubrey's mixed signals on who's "primed to be a Bella" so she shoves a flier at the girl.

Unfortunately, the disinterested looking girl is...kind of a bitch. Chloe tries to pitch her the group in earnest and this random girl makes fun of them their faces.

When the insults land Chloe can hear a vein bursting in Aubrey's forehead as she snaps at Not Really Alt Girl. Chloe nearly has to jump in front of Aubrey as she tries to salvage the conversation. It turns out the stranger doesn't even sing.

They spend the rest of the fair with Aubrey taking point on chatting with the potential new blood and Chloe feeling like she's letting her best friend down. Politics were never her thing though. Aubrey knows that.

**

Chloe really doesn’t expect to do anything other than hook up with her friend Tom the campus fuckboy when she goes over to his dorm the night before auditions. They smoke a bowl together. Aubrey would lose it if she knew Chloe were smoking the night before such a big day for the Bellas but Chloe reasons _I don’t have to sing tomorrow. I have to watch all the delinquents we gave fliers to at the fair sing._

Once they’re both pretty high Tom convinces her to take a shower with him. If she were sober Chloe would never elect to use a coed dorm shower, but she’s buzzed and horny and his roommates are milling around his dorm room. It’ll make for a good story.

They’re making out when someone walks in the shower and Chloe is startled. She whips around worried that it’s an RA who will call the cops and land her on a sex offender registry for exposure or something (a nagging fear she’s had more than once due to her experimental nature.)

The fears pass when she hears the most beautiful voice singing one of her favorite songs. _Holy. Shit. Aubrey will explode. She’s better than everyone we talked to at the fair._ With those thoughts bouncing around her head she heads towards the mystery girl’s stall, brushing Tom’s hands away as she leaves him.

She doesn’t know what to think as she creeps up to the voice, slowly peels the shower curtain back, and sees it’s Bitchy Fake Alt Girl. Chloe is excited that her initial assessment of the other girl was on point. There’s something gratifying about catching this contrarian in a lie and Chloe can’t help reaching out and trying to push this chick’s buttons.

This seemingly aloof girl appears to have a problem being naked in front of Chloe. Too bad for her that Chloe’s high and has never had many fucks to give about other people seeing her body. Chloe stares her down and browbeats her into singing with her.

After they sing together Tom pops up behind Chloe and seems to be checking out the other girl. Chloe isn’t thrilled about this. He’s supposed to be her sex puppet that night, right? She drags him off but calls “See you at auditions!” over her shoulder to Shower Singing Tattoo Girl.

**

Auditions go better than expected. Especially when Beca shows up and sings her heart out along with an impressive percussion routine. Chloe can’t help but gloat to Aubrey.

“I told you. I told you so! I knew she was perfect!”

“She isn’t perfect.”

“If we take Amy, we have to take her. And I think Cynthia-Rose was amazing. And that Jessica girl too!”

“There were a lot of decent girls, and some girls with potential. Stacie was pretty good," Aubrey says.

“Stacie _looked_ pretty good. I don’t know if she has the right voice.”

“Chloe don’t make this weird. Anyone can sing, not everyone can look good doing it. We can teach her.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll do my part. But we have to take Beca.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this as an excuse to talk about Pitch Perfect and Bechloe so if you comment I'm gonna chat back atcha :)


	2. Picture Me Rollin' Takin' You Home

Aubrey and Chloe spend a couple hours decking out the practice room with candles and prepping for initiation. When the freshman walk in Beca says, “Jesus what will the other students that practice here think?” and Amy responds with, “That we’re in a cult. But that’s ok this’ll be my third. It’ll be weird not being the leader though.”

Beca seems to think that’s very funny. Chloe’s pretty sure Amy is just kidding around but this group is a special level of unhinged.

“We’ll clean it up first thing at rehearsal tomorrow,” Chloe clarifies.

Aubrey hits the lights and they get through the initiation ritual. It’s pretty clear from the changes she’s elected to make to the script that Aubrey’s hatred for the Trebles has boiled over. Chloe hates Bumper but other than that the guys are nice enough. She doesn’t get it, but she’ll support Aubrey. She’s really looking forward to the mixer after this.

**

A cappella has gotten so popular that they can’t fit the initiation after party in the Treble house anymore (thank God honestly because Chloe isn’t sure Aubrey would let them go if it were still there). It’s now held at the amphitheater. For some reason, Tom is one of the few guys not in a singing group, that’s still shameless enough to go to one of their parties (if Chloe takes him). He promises he’s bringing “party favors”.

Chloe and Aubrey scoot back to their apartment to pregame and touch up their hair and makeup and Chloe mentions her date to Aubrey.

“So, Tom’s meeting me here for a drink before he and I head out.”

“How do you convince non cappellas to come with you to these things?” Aubrey asks.

“I don’t know the promise of free booze and attention?”

“God please don’t get too fucked up tonight. We have to watch the girls. Maybe chaperone them back to their rooms. They’re all young and impressionable and they’ll be around a bunch of Trebles tonight.”

“Jesus Christ Aubrey, they’re adults and- “

“Not all of them!” Aubrey is starting to get worked up.

“Please just calm down. Tom’s bringing...something to take tonight. I’m sure he’ll share with you if you think it’ll help you loosen up.”

“Chloe the last thing I’m going to do is _loosen up with Tom._ That’s kind of your signature move. Which is fine. Really it could be so much worse.” _What does that mean?_ Chloe wonders. “But it’s not…on brand for me. Ok?” Aubrey finishes.

“Look, I promise. I won’t get too messed up. I’ll help you keep an eye on the girls. I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”

“Thank you.”

Tom brings Molly and while Chloe doesn’t make a habit out of doing drugs (maybe Tom’s kind of a bad influence, maybe it’s just not that big a deal) she hides it from Aubrey and takes a tablet before they leave the apartment.

**

By the time they get to the party Chloe. Is. High off her ass. Tom wanders away to get a drink and she and Aubrey wait at the top of the stairs for the rest of the girls. They march in and Chloe feels euphoric as they usher in the next generation of Bellas. She’s pretty sure she and Aubrey have saved the tradition of the group. She’s also fuckin’ on one so who knows? Everyone looks beautiful. Everything feels like Heaven.

She mingles for a while until Aubrey grabs her and says, “Your pet is talking to that new Treble. Get her to knock it off.”

“My pet? Can you just appreciate how good my hair feels though?”

Aubrey just stares at her and then says, “I really don’t have time to get into all this with you. Just get a leash on Beca. And whatever you’re on try and pretend to be sober please.”

Chloe gives Aubrey a big hug as Aubrey lets out a big, annoyed sigh.

Beca’s still up near the top of the stairs and Chloe marches up to her and grabs her. She vaguely remembers she’s supposed to be warning Beca off Jesse but that isn’t the vibe she’s on. Beca’s fucking cute. Beca has an amazing voice. Less than 24 hours ago they were naked together in a shower. Chloe grabs Beca’s hands, pulls her in close, and stares at her mouth. She makes some pledge of friendship but all she can think about is Beca’s pointy, white teeth.

She has this nagging feeling. She wants to pull Beca even closer but that doesn’t feel like something she should do in front of all these people. She doesn’t want an audience she just wants Beca. But there’s an audience so she leaves Beca alone and puts on a show with Tom.

The music swells up and there’s a lot of dancing and drinking. It’s the perfect early fall night in the deep south. College football is in the air. It’s the best night Chloe’s had since before last year’s cluster of a championship performance.

Aubrey shows up looking pretty blurry with Cynthia-Rose and Stacie in tow almost like she’s a teacher taking them to detention.

“These two have had enough for the night.” Or did she say have done enough? “I’m getting them home. Keep a close eye on the rest of the girls.” Chloe salutes her and works hard not to fall over.

She then works hard at keeping an eye on the rest of the freshmen but…she’s not exactly on her A game and some of them start disappearing. It’s like a bad horror movie the way Kori, Mary Elise, and Amy vanish. Chloe decides it’s time to drink some water. She’s starting to come down, but she still feels soft and happy.

She can’t find Tom. Because she isn’t looking for Tom. She’s looking for Beca and she spots her still talking to Jesse. He seems nice but obviously he’s an idiot that can’t take a hint. She walks up to them and says, “Excuse me.” Jesse stares at her and she tilts her head to grin at Beca. She then looks Jesse in the eye and gives him her warmest smile.

“Move please.”

Jesse laughs and says, “Ok ok, oh captain, my captain. I’m gonna go see what the guys are up to.”

Beca is laughing, “Hey Drunky, why don’t we get you home?”

Chloe protests and tries to convince Beca she’s not drunk. (She’s not but she’s not sober either). Beca laughs her off and convinces her to let help take her home.

**

Before Chloe knows it, they’re back at the apartment and Aubrey is nowhere to be found.

She doesn’t know exactly how, maybe Beca suggests that she get ready for bed, maybe she’s just still on one…but for some reason she takes her top off and throws it at Beca.

“Dude what the fuck?!” Beca exclaims, but she’s laughing.

Chloe feels a surge of confidence once she's started to bare her skin and she pushes Beca against the wall and Beca stops laughing. “Dude…” Chloe can’t really take any more of Beca’s commentary, so she just refuses to. She kisses Beca and their teeth clank together and Beca gasps but after a beat she kisses her back. Chloe feels faint and famished and she’s pulling at Beca’s shirt, up and over her head.

Then Chloe’s dragging Beca to her room, pushing her pants down, embracing her, and tipping them onto the bed and no one’s laughing or talking anymore.

Chloe doesn’t really care about anything but the sole pursuit of getting Beca off. She’s got her fingers inside her and Beca’s breathing heavily in her ear. Beca’s so wet and she moans out “Chloe…please” and Chloe somehow knows exactly what to do. She slinks down Beca’s body and Jesus fuck she’s turned on.

Beca reaches down and Chloe can feel her fingernails press into her head and it just makes her want to work harder. She adds pace and pressure to the broad strokes of her tongue and Beca grips her harder muttering, “Holy shit. Just…like…that. Oh my fucking god.”

As Beca’s commandments get noisier Chloe feels her jaw and tongue start to ache but she doesn’t give a fuck. It’s sloppy and wet and Chloe is groaning into Beca and Beca is dragging Chloe around by her hair.

Just like that Beca seizes up and lets out a long sound caught between a moan and a breath and Chloe widens her eyes at the excess wetness and everything else that’s just transpired.

Beca pulls Chloe up by her hair still (Jesus FUCK) and in for a kiss and after making out for a minute she flips them over and Chloe feels stomach flip and she hiccups as her breath sticks in her throat. Beca moves her hands lower and Chloe feels her own face get hot.

It doesn’t take long (maybe it’s the drugs) (it’s probably the drugs) for Chloe to start shaking and then come without a ton of fanfare. Her groan is muffled because Beca hasn’t let up on kissing her deeply. Chloe has to gently pull Beca’s hands away once she’s floated down to get her to let up.

**

Beca’s sitting on the side of the bed pulling her clothes back on and Chloe for once in her life has burrowed herself under her cool sheets and kooshy comforter. Beca looks over to her and says, “Uh…have you ever done this before?”

“What had sex!? Or…with a girl?”

“Jesus with a girl I mean.” Beca sounds a little uncomfortable.

“Well…yeah.”

“With who? Oh god was it Aubrey?”

Chloe doesn’t know why but she blurts out, “I’m not gay!”

Beca stutters, “That’s not what I-”

“No not Aubrey. Definitely not Aubrey. She has way too many daddy issues to ever have sex with a girl.”

“Where is she, anyway, don’t you two live together?”

“She’s probably still doing bed checks.”

“WHAT? Whose beds?!” Beca looks horrified.

“All...of y’all’s?”

“Oh Jesus Christ. She’s way too much. We’re not wayward children.”

Chloe sighs, “She wants to make sure that no one is hooking with any Trebles.”

Beca cuts Chloe a look, “I hope she doesn’t check your bed.”

Chloe smiles a little bit as she looks down and says, “Shut up.”

“I guess I should get back to my room before the führer gets there huh?”

“Yeah…I guess so…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing smut is wild. It'll get better I swear (the smut, the overall quality of the story probably won't change.)


	3. A New Disease

Chloe wakes up tired and hungover. After the usual split second of thinking _What did I get into last night_? everything floods back into her mind’s eye and she squirms rolling over onto her stomach while trying to organize her thoughts. She can’t help but smile into her pillow at the memory of the previous night. 

It’s eleven already and sunlight is streaming in through the windows of the kitchen as Chloe walks in to get some much-needed water. Aubrey’s blonde hair is brighter than usual in the light as she eyes her roommate as she sits in the adjoined common area. She’s got green tea, her music binder open, and an eyebrow raised.

“What’d you get up to last night?” Aubrey asks.

Chloe considers, very briefly, just blurting out everything that’s happened but she thinks twice and quickly decides that there’s no way Aubrey would approve or even tolerate Chloe spending the evening eating out Aubrey’s least favorite pledge. Especially when she was supposed to be guarding all the newbies' honors or whatever.

Chloe is actually pretty sure Aubrey would clutch her pearls if Chloe had sex with Aubrey’s favorite pledge or any Bella ever. Aubrey isn’t homophobic (she judges everyone’s bad choices with an equal amount of derision) but she’s obsessed with rules and decorum.

Besides it’s not like it’s going to happen again. It can’t really. That might make it ‘a thing’, which it’s not, it’s just a fluke. It’s a one-off Chloe will probably use to tantalize future boyfriends. It’s just another story she’ll tell at Thursday night drinks to her friends when she’s thirty and working an unfulfilling job. ‘I banged a Freshman in my all girl choir group…Yeah it was my way of initiating her.’ Wink wink.

_Yikes is it funny or fucked up? How young is she anyway?_ At that second thought Chloe stops what she’s doing. Wait how old _is_ Beca. Chloe’s wild but she’s not an _abuser_. She’s not a skeevy senior who takes a freshman to the prom. Or, Christ is she now?

“Chloe…?” Aubrey’s still waiting on an answer.

“Yeah? Nothing! I…uh…I didn’t really- I mean I just kept a lookout for trouble and then came home.”

“Okay well you need to get ready. Rehearsal starts in an hour.”

“Yeah…Did uh, did you catch any of the girls doing…anything?”

Aubrey spills into an energetic description of the night spent in her private investigator alter ego and goes on a rant that Chloe tunes out while she tries to think of a way to find out how old Beca is (no doubt Aubrey already knows, she probably knows everything there is to know about the new girls, she probably did a background check on each girl before allowing them into her precious group). There’s just no way to ask how old Beca is without it coming off as weird.

Chloe snaps out of her train of thought when she hears Aubrey say Beca’s name.

“What?”

“I said I caught Beca sneaking back to her dorm, but she wouldn’t admit to any untoward activities.”

This is all a bit much for Chloe. She doesn’t like to lie and she’s terrible at keeping secrets. Also, when Aubrey puts it that way, now that the Molly’s worn off and they’re just sitting around washed out by daylight everything Chloe and Beca did does seem pretty inappropriate.

Chloe tries to cover her tracks. “I’m sure Beca was just getting back late from the party.”

“I know she’s your favorite for some reason, Chloe, but if I catch her breaking the rules she’s out and you better tell her that.”

“Aubrey I-“ Chloe wants to inform her best friend that she’s overreacting and they really shouldn’t be meddling in a bunch of young women’s sex lives but the night before Chloe had become a part of one of those sex lives and she really doesn’t currently have the bandwidth to navigate through her own hypocrisy.

“Beca’s not going to break any rules. And I just think she has a great voice.” At least Chloe knows Beca won’t be sleeping with any Treble Makers.

She plods back to her room before realizing she’s left her glass of water in the kitchen. She has to double back to grab it before getting ready for rehearsal.

**

When the seniors get to the practice room Amy is relaxing on the floor with her head propped up by her hand barking out orders. She’s coordinating the other Bellas to clean up all the candles.

Chloe makes a point to greet all the girls and treat all of them the same. She’s not sure what else to do, but Beca acts cool and confident so Chloe continues to follow her lead.

It’s not a bad start to rehearsal but Aubrey quickly makes it clear that her detective work was no joke, and neither was the oath she had all the new girls take by announcing Kori’s dismissal. With even more melodramatic flair she interrogates Mary Elise _in front of everyone_ and then kicks her out of the group.

Chloe considers speaking up and stopping Aubrey’s crazy train but given the previous evening’s activities she thinks twice. The last thing she needs is Aubrey’s extra scrutiny. She almost pulls a muscle trying to keep her face neutral when, of all people, Beca questions Aubrey’s dictator like stance. Chloe has to work hard even harder to avoid eye contact with Beca.

After all the chit chat dies down and the distractions are addressed, they get into rehearsal and it goes…not as well as Chloe had thought it might.

Even worse at the end Beca and Aubrey start to bicker again. Chloe only hears Beca exclaim “That’s my DICK!” before leaving the room and doesn’t even bother to ask. She doesn’t want to know.

**

They continue like that for a couple weeks without any funny business. Classes, rehearsals, homework assignments all trickle by and Chloe’s back in the comfortable groove of school. 

The new girls are a lot of fun. They can barely get through a stanza without someone making a joke. 

Cynthia-Rose and Stacie seem to enjoy cosplaying as a dysfunctional lesbian couple which Chloe doesn't know what to make of until she realizes they’re doing it to make Amy laugh. And Amy does seem to consider this to be one of the highest forms of humor. Chloe waits for Aubrey to reprimand them but she never does.

As one uneventful Friday rehearsal comes to a close Beca approaches Chloe and says, “Hey my birthday’s next week so we’re all celebrating tonight. You’re invited as long as you don’t tell Aubrey.”

Chloe can’t tell if Beca’s serious or not because she says it with a laugh hiding behind her voice but quietly as if to keep Aubrey from hearing.

“Oh alright. Umm where?”

“The Garage. At nine. Be there, yeah?”

“Yeah ok!”

Chloe smiles. Maybe now she can get on the right foot with Beca. Despite annoying Aubrey constantly with teasing (Chloe wishes she had the gumption to stand up to Aubrey) Beca’s voice is Chloe’s favorite of the group and she does want to mentor her and make sure she’ll carry on the Bella legacy.

“Oh, how old are you turning?”

“Nineteen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw shit y'all. Also if Chloe got to choose the music they would have worked on this at practice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RY2FJlqiO0


	4. The Lucky Ones

Chloe unclenches her jaw for the first time in a long time. She heads back to her and Aubrey's apartment and decides to treat herself to Facebook stalking Beac, but she only sees her looking very into guys. She exhales and mutters, “Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

Aubrey’s paused in front of her door with a pile of clothes loaded up in her arms.

“Oh nothing. What’s going on?”

“Laundry.” Aubrey shrugs and then says, “Hey you were great today with the other girls.”

Chloe feels guilt swirl around in her chest. “Of course, I want us to get back to Nationals.”

“I want us to get through SBT next week without being a complete disaster but I’m not holding my breath.”

“It’s gonna be ok Aubs I promise.”

Aubrey smiles at that. The nickname pokes a soft spot in her heart.

“Thanks, Glowy I appreciate your sunny disposition.”

Aubrey goes about her chores and Chloe tries to reason out that even though she had sex with a nearly 18-year-old she’s just turned 22 that summer so that makes it like…a senior hooking up with a freshman and that’s not so bad. Right? Besides it’s definitely never going to happen again.

Chloe feels a little bad when she thinks about how she’s never worried herself with how old a guy that she’s fucked is. There’s been a fair few of them, and she’s never had to Google the legality of it.

**

Chloe doesn’t tell Aubrey about Beca’s birthday celebration, but she doesn’t feel proud of it. It’s Beca’s birthday though and birthdays are special. You’re supposed to get whatever you want on your birthday. Chloe’s getting a little sick of feeling worried and that’s enough of a reason to keep her council around Aubrey. She just needs a night to get drunk and party.

Beca texts her the location of her dorm room and invites her to pregame the night there.

Chloe shows up a little late and Beca lets her into a room filled with the other Bellas and loud music.

“DUDE you’re finally here! We’ve been waiting for you!” Beca exclaims,.

Ashley shoves a cup full of pink liquid into Chloe’s hand and dives back into the party. 

“Wow it’s loud in here!” Chloe leans a little closer to Beca, so she has an easier time communicating. The birthday girl looks pretty drunk. “What is this stuff?”

“I don’t know! Lilly brought it! She calls it Tiger’s Blood. The one ingredient I’m sure about is Everclear.”

Chloe takes a sip and shudders. No wonder everyone already seems to be wasted. They’re all drinking and everyone’s singing or rapping along to the music. Stacie is complaining about getting alcohol poisoning from a game of Never Have I Ever and Amy is loudly commentating on a round of King’s Cup.

Chloe drinks faster and joins in on the fun. Soon she’s rounding all the girls up to toast Beca, the Bellas, and being young forever.

Once the punch runs out, they walk through the warm night to the bar. The music is great and Chloe gets hustled into buying drinks for the underaged girls. They dance together and Beca keeps talking about how great the DJ is.

Some of the girls leave and some sidle off to the edge of the dance floor to make out with random guys. Chloe doesn’t. It’s Beca’s birthday and tonight is supposed to be about her!

After a couple hours Beca pushes through the crowd and pulls Chloe in to dance.

“Hey!” Beca says.

“Hey you!”

“So…it’s my birthday.”

“Woohoo! Yeah it- “

Beca puts her hands on Chloe’s hips and pushes her own body up against her. Chloe feels like there’s a tiny firework going off in her stomach.

“Did you get me anything?”

Chloe takes an instant to find her voice which isn’t a position she finds herself often.

“I brought you drinks…?”

“You bought everyone drinks. Are you going to give me anything else? Anything special?”

The music is up tempo but to Chloe it sounds sad and dramatic. The singer is asking someone when they’ll be back home. Chloe wonders where home is and dances closer to Beca, loosely putting her arms on Beca’s shoulders.

She puts her mouth next to Beca’s ear, close enough so Beca can hear without Chloe shouting and murmurs, “What else do you want?” and she can’t help herself. She lets her lips brush against Beca’s ear.

Beca pulls away and grabs Chloe’s hand. She gives her a little tug towards the door. “Let’s go.”

Chloe’s head is swimming and she knows where this is going but she can’t think of a reason to say no. She follows Beca back out of the bar and towards Beca’s dorm room. Chloe can feel how sweaty her hand is but Beca doesn’t seem to mind. Beca’s walking fast and Chloe has to take care not to trip in her heels.

**

They get to the building and into the elevator and Beca must think she’s funny because she _waves_ at the security camera and then shoves Chloe against the wall and starts making out with her. Between kisses she says, “Oh my god I’m so glad we’re doing this.”

Then Beca sinks down to her knees and starts to push Chloe’s skirt up. “Beca! Jesus not here oh my God!” Chloe pulls Beca up by the hands and the elevator door pings open.

Once they’re in Beca’s room Chloe has to say, “Just…hang on.” as she kicks her shoes off. “Where’s your roommate?”

Beca just says, “Gone.” as she sinks down to her knees again. Chloe wants to say they should get into bed, but she’s left speechless as Beca yanks her underwear down and presses her tongue urgently against her. 

“Oh my god.” Chloe moans loudly, stretching out the O in God. It feels like hot relief and she’s glad the alcohol is dimming her ability to feel the sensation just a little bit. She wants this to last. 

But soon she finds herself pushing her hips fruitlessly into Beca’s mouth. She’s clenching down around nothing and the intensity of Beca’s tongue makes her want to scream.

As if anticipating Chloe’s need Beca stands up and orders Chloe to turn around. When Chloe complies Beca uses her knee to push Chloe’s knees apart and pushes her back down so Chloe’s body angles down just a bit and her hands, forearms, and the side of her face are rested against Beca’s door.

When Beca pushes two fingers inside Chloe they both groan and Beca goes to work. Chloe’s glad she has the door to lean on because she feels like she might fall over. 

Now that her mouth is unoccupied aside from nipping the back of Chloe’s neck, Beca is talking filthy while she pumps her fingers in and out of the other girl. “You like this don’t you? You like to be fucked standing up Jesus Christ I can’t believe you. You are so fucking hot.”

Chloe is surprised at how much she likes it because she’s never been That Girl but damn it all if Beca’s words are doing something for her now. She feels herself winding up but then Beca is stopping and flipping her around, kissing her and moving them towards Beca’s bed. 

“Get on the bed and I’ll keep fucking you. I know that’s the only reason you came tonight.” Chloe wants to protest and tell Beca that certainly isn’t the _only_ reason she came tonight. In fact, she hadn’t been expecting this at all, but she’s too caught up in the moment to form words, so she lets Beca do all the talking.

**

Chloe waits for Beca to fall asleep before she puts her clothes back on. She carries her shoes and tiptoes out of the room. 

She’s too drunk to worry about her feet (they’ll be dark with dirt by the time she’s home) and walks all the way back to her apartment barefoot listening to music on her phone, looking up at the streetlamps trying to figure out exactly how she ended up here. 

No doubt Aubrey’s fast asleep as Chloe sneaks quietly back to her room. She turns her shower on and sits in it pulling her knees to her chest as the warm water soothes her.

She’s starting to sober up and she can’t help but wonder _What would everyone say if they found out? What if the other girls saw us leave? No, it’s just two friends leaving a bar why would they even think anything of that?_

Maybe it shouldn’t have happened. But maybe it doesn’t matter because it’s never happening again. Chloe says “Goddammit” as she drops her forehead against her knees. 

It’s never _ever_ happening again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyeeee recipe for Tiger's Blood:  
> \- Big ass container  
> \- four liters of lemon lime soda  
> \- two frozen canisters of juice concentrate, one cranberry and one some kind of citrus flavor like lemon or orange,  
> \- a bottle of Everclear (I think they're 3/4ths of a liter),  
> \- top it off with lowish proof flavored vodka (your choice of flavor, something complimenting the juice flavors) until you think it'll  
> get you drunk enough to have sex with your friends.
> 
> Things I had to google for this chapter:  
> \- Age of consent in Georgia (I'm on lists now)  
> \- Chloe's birthday  
> \- Beca's birthday (I had to change it from '92 to '94 because whoever assigned her birthday thought freshman in college were 20! I was barely 19 and I did kindergarten twice!)
> 
> [Here's the song they danced to in the bar!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-1E3aJ_LJk) (there will be plot reasons behind the choices of the songs eventually I promise!)


	5. We Should Be Alone

It happens again.

Chloe’s made it a couple of months by way of external politeness and internal chaos. 

It’s quite a feat that she manages to avoid any alone time with Beca because more mornings than not she wakes up, rolls over onto her stomach, and slides her hand into her underwear. As she pulls orgasms out of her body, she pushes her face into her pillow to hide her inevitable moans and lets her memory replay the view and sensation from atop Beca, straddling her and sliding down her fingers over and over.

Somehow, she puts her most professional aura on and tries not to hold eye contact with Beca. But when she indulges a glace, Beca catches her staring and it’s just too uncomfortable.

Fucking hell, it happens again. It happens in public this time, in the middle of the day. Jessica and Ashley are in charge of planning a social event and they choose the last football game of the year. Chloe loves football. She loves the hype videos and music and the band performances. She loves the crowd cheering together over touchdowns and turnovers. 

Chloe’s support for the event is the deciding factor that gets Aubrey to agree to letting them have a full Saturday off of rehearsals.

It all starts out innocently but Beca makes eyes at Chloe and Chloe just knows what’s going to happen (Maybe she’s known all along.) They make their way to the bathroom and the stadium commentator’s voice covers up the noises they make as Beca pulls Chloe’s dress up and Chloe puts her hands up Beca’s shirt.

It’s a nasty surprise when Aubrey’s shout reverberates around the bathroom.

“Chloe!?”

Chloe has to quietly urge Beca, so they don’t get caught.

“Oh my God. Move, stand up here.” Chloe’s trying to gesture to Beca to crouch on the toilet as she pulls her own underwear and shorts up.

“Hey, wait a minute. I don’t- “

“Just do it, before she sees. Quick!”

Beca complies grumpily and a few tense seconds pass then BANG BANG BANG.

“Chloe are you in there? Did you have too much to drink at the tailgate? Did you throw up?”

“I…Uh yeah Aubrey but it’s fine. I’m fine. Actually, can you get me a Sprite?”

“Ok but you’re paying me back! They cost about a hundred dollars in here.”

“Of course, of course.”

“Meet me out there?”

“I’ll be right out!”

Chloe holds her breath and waits. This is so not the time.

“What don’t want mom to catch you sneaking around?”

“She isn’t my _mom_. Trust me you don’t want her to catch you either.”

Chloe turns and peaks out of the stall door. There are a few women walking around but Aubrey’s gone so she opens the door and scampers out before anyone can notice what’s been going on.

The football team had been underdogs and they win on an incredible play with one second remaining. It’s such a monumental game for the school that the students and other fans in the lower bowl of the stadium rush the field. Chloe is so caught up in the emotions of the game that she tears up. The Bellas all get separated because it really is a mad house but Beca shows up at Chloe’s elbow and says, “Let’s get out of here, my roommate is gone for Thanksgiving.” Chloe doesn’t have to be told twice.

**

When they get back from the winter holiday, they’re taking a break at rehearsal. Chloe is lying on the floor staring at the ceiling, not thinking about much in particular.

“What do you say, Chloe?” Amy says.

“About what?”

“Aliens, Bigfoot, or Vampires? Which one do you think is most likely?”

“I hope vampires.”

“It’s not about what you hope for it’s about what you think could really exist!” says Jessica.

“I don’t know but I like vampires.”

“You _like_ _vampires_? What like those kids’ movies?” Beca teases.

“Not just those!”

Chloe has always had a soft spot for vampires since a guy she dated in high school thought it was cute to invite her over and then play video games for hours. Sometimes he’d let her play if she got bored enough and she had accidentally let his RPG character get turned into a vampire. He’d thought it was funny to demand that she seek out the cure and she’d had so much fun she’d asked for an Xbox for her birthday so she could play the game at her house.

“Girl…the correct answer is aliens.”

“Those UFO stories are just as fake as vampires Beca.”

“Even if they are fake and aliens have never been to this planet, think about it. In the entire universe there’s just no chance there’s not aliens. Even if they haven’t been here, maybe that’s just because the technology you need to travel between planets would be developed like, after nukes and civilizations just blow themselves up before space travel becomes possible”

Stacie chimes in. “That’s called the Fermi Paradox.”

“Really? I thought I was like...a genius for coming up with that idea.”

Chloe isn’t sure how she got caught up in this conversation.

“I didn’t say it _was_ vampires I just said I _hoped_ it was vampires.”

“You need to watch the X-Files.”

“Wait, you watch the X-Files?”

“Only cool people do.”

Beca invites everyone over for a watch party but in the end, Chloe is the only one who shows up. They watch the first couple episodes huddled together on Beca’s bed and the sexiest thing that happens is their shoulders pressing together in the dim glow of Beca’s laptop.

**

From there on out Chloe watches the X-Files at Beca’s every now and then. Whenever they watch it, they don’t hook up. The few times they don’t watch it they end up making out at least. When Beca’s roommate is gone for the weekend or assuredly in class for the afternoon they undress, and Chloe forgets about the goofy 90’s TV show along with everything else.

When they get to the second season of the program an episode called “3” is next to play. “You’ll like this one.” Beca says. “I mean because, um, not because- well just watch. It has vampires in it I mean. Though in season five there’s a better one with vampires. Episode that is.”

“Jeeze stop spoiling all the monsters for me, you know I’ll watch no matter what.”

“Yeah…”

**

When a guy in her creative writing class asks her out Chloe finds herself saying no before saying, “Wait, I mean I’m sorry. What’s your number?”

They go out to dinner and it is so boring. He talks about wanting to be a sports caster or a weatherman. Chloe can’t pay attention. She insists on paying because that’s what she always does when she plans on ghosting someone.

Aubrey scolds her for this habit but Chloe defends herself by saying at least if she’s going to break their hearts they may as well get a free meal on it. Aubrey claims it’s sending a mixed message. Aubrey has no idea.

**

Their win at regionals is dampened by Beca managing to get herself arrested. Aubrey rallies the whole team into waiting up for Beca and Amy pounds on Beca’s door until her introverted roommate lets them in.

Chloe can’t believe that Beca has the balls to be rude to Aubrey after all that and she tries, as per the usual, to translate between the two. Aubrey’s more on edge than usual but Beca seems riled up too. Chloe’s surprised when Beca calls a cappella ‘Queerballs’. She really thought Beca had bought more into the group than that.

Beca asks if Chloe wants to watch the X-Files and Chloe says no because she wants to hurry up and ask Aubrey if there’s any way to change their setlist.

When Chloe catches up to Aubrey, she’s so obviously not in the mood that Chloe decides to offer to buy her a hot chocolate instead.

“Chloe you know it’s too late for me to have anything with caffeine in it.”

Of course, Aubrey is so sensitive to stimulants that she doesn’t even risk anything with chocolate in it past noon on most days.

“Fro yo then?”

“Let’s just go home.”

When Chloe whines, “I just want you to feel better!”

“Make me breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“Ooh ok. What do you want?”

“Can you kill a Treble Maker and cook it over easy?”

“Anything else that you want.”

**

Chloe ends up making waffles and pancakes because they’re both so yummy she can’t decide. She takes a stack of each into Aubrey’s room all done up on a tray with juice and sides so they can have breakfast in bed and watch Aubrey’s favorite morning news programs. “This must be what having a boyfriend is like.” She muses.

Aubrey laughs and says, “I’m pretty sure this is what having a girlfriend is like.”

Chloe smiles but doesn’t say what she’s thinking for what feels like the millionth time that year.

_No, it isn’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to have breakfast in bed with Chloe and Aubrey MORE THAN I WANT OXYGEN.
> 
> _  
> [Here's the ending of their football game, I was DTF after that happened too!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v1EVSn95yk)  
> _


	6. Everybody Look Away

Beca’s improvisation in the semi’s is definitely not why they didn’t make the finals but it’s all Aubrey can talk about for a couple weeks. Every time she brings it up Chloe can only think about how Beca embarrassed her in front of everyone. She feels pretty defeated not that it matters now that she’s done with the Bellas for good.

Aubrey’s text still feels like a breath of fresh air at a time where Chloe’s throat feels like it’s on fire. While recovering from surgery in a haze of pain meds, she texts all of the girls one by one to celebrate making the finals and to check in. That includes Beca. Whoops.

Of course, Aubrey is pissed at Chloe. When is everybody not blaming everything on Chloe these days? But somehow Beca shows up and actually saves the day. Aubrey actually listens for once in her life. And somehow Beca and Aubrey are all of a sudden best friends?

Well maybe not best friends but Beca is constantly texting Aubrey sound clips of their arrangement. Once they’re compiled Aubrey surprisingly turns over choreography duties to Chloe.

Chloe can’t help but concede that the music is really amazing but that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t start out irritated at the entire situation. But as rehearsals proceed, she gets more caught up in the hype and excitement. For the first time every single girl is buying in to the mission.

Before she knows it, Chloe is packing for the trip to New York City. Aubrey pops her head into Chloe’s door frame and says, “I know we agreed to let everyone wear whatever they wanted but…bring your uniform, ok?”

Chloe doesn’t really care what she wears or doesn’t wear, she’s just excited to perform.

**

Chloe loves the city. Something about the crowded streets just breaths extra life into her. People have always said that New Yorkers are rude but that’s not Chloe’s experience at all. A sweet old man chats with her for thirty minutes while they ride the Staten Island Ferry to get a free look at the Statue of Liberty and a street artist draws her and Aubrey’s names in green on the sidewalk for free when she asks.

Aubrey won’t let them party and most of them are underage, so they get brunch in the Upper West Side and troll around Central Park the day before the competition. It’s the most fun they’ve ever had with the Bellas and Chloe counts her lucky stars that they tripped into this group of loveable misfits.

**

Their performance really is something special. Chloe shivers as they sing the last note because she thinks maybe they’ve changed a cappella forever. 

She is jarred from her thoughts when Beca slips out of Aubrey’s arms, marches into the audience, and defiantly kisses Jesse. Chloe’s jaw drops and her stomach bottoms out. The room is spinning, and the overhead lights are making it unbearably hot. Her face is burning, and she can hear her own heart pounding. Aubrey elbows her and it hurts.

“Good thing we’re graduating huh? Guess the Bellas will be under new management and new rules.” Aubrey says with a smile creeping onto her face. “Whatever, I KNEW they were hooking up. I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t catch them.”

Chloe nods and works to keep her face void of emotion. How in the world did AUBREY who HATES (hated?) Beca clock this? Chloe has spent the whole year hooking up with Beca and only Beca on the semi-regular and, well, sure it _was_ just hooking up. Sure, they didn’t agree to be _exclusive_ or anything. Of course, they aren’t _girlfriends_. Beca…isn’t breaking any rules. But as they walk off stage Chloe’s chest gets tight and her blood boils.

The Trebles invite all of them out to celebrate. Chloe is trying to focus on the big win and Aubrey letting her hair down for the first time since last year, but she jumps at the chance to pretend she’s too tired and so she can get away from everyone else. When she gets back to the hotel room she curls up in the shower and bawls her eyes out.

The thoughts almost hurt her head as she wades through them but maybe her feelings for Beca are more complicated than she bargained for. Maybe it’s a good thing this wild ride is going to end when Chloe graduates in a couple of weeks.

By the time Aubrey gets back to their room Chloe is lying in the dark watching some stupid reality show on the tv. When she hears Aubrey open the door, she closes her eyes and doesn’t open them when Aubrey gently whispers to see if she’s awake.

**

It’s the night before Chloe’s last final. She’s got her notes spread out all over the kitchen table and she’s nearly chewed a hole in her lip. Aubrey retired to her room a few hours earlier after getting tired of quizzing Chloe with flashcards.

Chloe practically squeaks and falls out of her chair when she hears several sharp raps on the front door. She hurries to check the peephole and is shocked to see Beca standing out in the hallway.

She opens the door and Beca makes to come inside but Chloe puts her hand out and it lands on Beca’s stomach. She pushes her back into the hallway and whispers, “No, SHHH, Aubrey’s here. She’s asleep.”

“I just had to see you, to tell you.” Beca says loudly. Her eyeliner is smudged, and Chloe can smell the faint scent of alcohol on Beca’s breath.

“Beca you’re drunk.”

“Not really.”

“Why are you here? It’s 2 in the morning.”

“I made you something.”

Chloe looks around and says, “What?” flatly.

Beca’s just wringing her empty hands. Her eyes look shiny. After a moment she drops her hands and sighs as if in defeat.

“Nothing. Nothing. Do you…is there somewhere we can go? To talk for a minute?”

Chloe jerks her head towards the door leading to the outside. Their apartment complex has a pool with a broken gate. The grass feels wet on Chloe’s bare feet as Beca follows her across the lawn.

When they get to the pool Chloe heads towards some chairs so they can sit and talk but Beca starts unbuttoning her own shirt. “Let’s get in the pool.”

Chloe is about to say she obviously doesn’t have a swimsuit with her but duh, it’s quickly apparent Beca doesn’t either. And these next few moments are not Chloe’s proudest, not at all, but she can’t help herself when she sees Beca in a black bra and panties. She strips off her loose tank top and pajama shorts and follows Beca into the glowing water.

Chloe has loved to swim since she was little. Her grandmother had a place on the Pacific in Baker Beach, and she spent many summer days playing in the surf there. She’s pretty sure she could swim before she could walk.

The water feels warm at first but compared to the summer night it’s a bit cooler. Beca pulls her close and water splashes up into Chloe’s mouth. Beca pulls her in and hugs her neck and then exhales a warm breath in her ear that makes her shudder. Chloe feels her body relax and she folds just a little bit into Beca.

“Why haven’t you been talking to me?” Beca says quietly.

That’s a good question but Chloe doesn’t know how to answer it. She doesn’t feel that saying, ‘You made out with someone else in front of me’ is the best idea. She’s never been the jealous type and she’s really never been dumped before. Not that Beca, well, not that anyone dumped anyone.

She settles on saying an uneasy “I don’t know.” because that’s better than the truth.

Beca slowly walks them to the edge of the pool and Chloe feels the cement wall behind her. She doesn’t have much time to make any sense of the funny look on Beca’s face before Beca is leaning in and kissing her softly. Chloe opens her mouth and leans into Beca brushing her tongue against Beca’s lower lip. Beca lets out a little moan and pulls back.

Her eyes are sparkling, and her wet hair looks black. She taps the brick lip of the pool behind Chloe. “Hop up.” Chloe obeys and her breath catches when Beca starts to pull her underwear down but she lifts her legs up so she can get them all the way off. 

Beca pushes her legs wide apart and Chloe feels exposed. She looks around furtively as if someone is going to walk up on them but as soon as Beca runs her tongue along the length of her sex fears are chased out of her mind and she arches her back to give Beca better access to her.

Beca is muttering something and the vibration feels amazing, so Chloe grabs the back of Beca’s head and says, “Oh God, don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” Beca grips Chloe’s thighs and moves her head faster. She’s lapping at Chloe and making a lot of noise and Chloe is trembling as her body goes from soft and relaxed to taught and aching.

Chloe leans back and puts her palms on the wet pavement. She comes like that with her feet dangling in the pool. 

**

Later that night (more like early that morning) when she’s trying the fall asleep Chloe thinks about how when she would swim in the ocean all day on vacation she’d lie in bed and feel like she was still buoyed up and down by the waves except instead of ocean waves she feels Beca, all around her.

She fails her exam and when she realizes that she’d needed at least a C to pass she has never felt so embarrassed. She’ll be back at Barden for at least another year. This wasn’t part of the plan, but really none of the past year has gone according to plan except for winning the ICCAs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MFW I'm trying to have a heart to heart and I can't stop having sex long enough to do it.


	7. Chloe and the New Addiction

Aubrey helps Chloe move into a one bedroom and Chloe rides with Aubrey through the mountains to East Tennessee to help her move to her new job. Chloe stays the weekend and it’s the highlight of her summer.

The rest of the break passes almost as quickly as that single weekend. Chloe finishes watching the X-Files alone and does a lot of yard work to try and head off any parental disappointment over her having to go back to school for another year, but they seem pretty ambivalent about it.

**

When Chloe gets back to school, she feels a little out of place without Aubrey. So much so that she skips auditions and initiation night, but she gets a text from Beca that says, “So help me God co-captain you had better be at rehearsal tomorrow I can’t do this cock appella bullshit without you I WON’T!” and with that Chloe decides that whatever went on last year with Beca isn’t as important as keeping the group under at least somewhat adult supervision.

Chloe is a little bit horrified when she meets Flo, the new addition to the Bellas. “Beca can you hang back a minute?” she says at the end of practice.

“Yeah Boss what’s up?”

“This new girl is insane. Why did we take her exactly?”

Beca reaches up and brushes Chloe’s hair behind her ears and says, “C’mon she’s funny. She can do a backflip!”

Chloe feels herself get a bit flustered at Beca’s touch. “What about Jesse?”

Beca gives her a little double take and then leans in to kiss her cheek gently. “What about him?”

Chloe feels her resolve fade as she realizes how much she had missed Beca over summer.

“No more recruiting without me.”

“I promise," Beca says and Chloe thinks something might happen but Beca just gives her a sweet smile and turns on her heels to leave the practice room.

**

But Jesse becomes a staple by Beca’s side so what is Chloe supposed to think? And if Chloe thought the Bumper-helmed Trebles were awful this new flaccid Nice Guy iteration Jesse and Benji are promoting is the worst. Jesse follows Beca everywhere. He shows up at lunch, at the end of rehearsal, at performances, at the bar, just everywhere.

**

The Bellas still have girls’ nights, and it’s during one of these get togethers that Stacie has bullied them into playing My Dirty Whore Self - a backwards version of Never Have I Ever in which the participants lower a finger if they _haven’t_ done whatever scandalous thing the person whose turn it is claims to have done.

Chloe’s drinking a vodka cranberry when Cynthia-Rose says, “I got all y’all bitches’ number. My dirty whore self has made sweet love to a woman.”

“Oh, that’s not fair!” Amy shouts as everyone but Stacie, Chloe, and Cynthia-Rose lowers a finger. Wait does keeping a finger up mean she _is_ admitting to sleeping with a girl? Oops.

“Wait, WAIT, CHLOE!? Oh my god, who? When?” A lot of people are shouting at her. Chloe sneaks a glance at Beca, and she’s rolling her eyes. She's put a finger down because apparently Beca thinks it’s ok to lie during Bellas bonding time. Maybe they haven’t had sex since last year but Beca has absolutely had a lot of enthusiastic sapphic sex.

“Chloe you got some ‘splainin’ to do” Flo says. 

Chloe feels like there’s a bright spotlight on her and she tries to play it off. “Oh, you know.”

“No, really, we don’t know. Chloe give us the dirty details!” Stacie pries.

“Oh, calm down you little Gremlins it was a threesome. And it was a long time ago.” It’s not technically a lie. She hopes that will be the end of it, but everyone is shouting at her and each other. Chloe feels a bit put off. 

“Hey, hey!” Beca interrupts, “My dirty whore self has been to jail.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” someone yells.

Everyone but Beca and Lilly puts a finger down.

**

Chloe has Beca over to show her some new choreography. It feels like the first time they’ve seen each other in a while. Beca’s new arrangement is great and Chloe can’t help but smile as she dances. When she finishes Beca just says, “Wow.”

“Well, what did you think?”

“I think it was…hot.” Beca’s face is red but however hot she thinks Chloe’s dancing is she and Jesse are now Facebook official so what’s even the point of commenting?

“Uh, ok but…” Chloe doesn’t know what to say. Beca gets off Chloe’s couch and walks towards her.

“I think it was really, really hot.” Beca practically stalks Chloe until Chloe’s legs are bumping against her kitchen table. The cold look on Beca’s face is contrasted by the warm sunset filtering into the room around them.

Chloe looks to the side and down. “We should…we shouldn’t.”

Beca leans back a little bit. “If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.”

Chloe thinks for a minute and bites her lip. “Don’t stop.”

Beca leaves after a few hours of an intense reunion. Probably to go kiss Jesse with her dirty mouth.

**

The BU Harmonics throw a sweet sixteen party to celebrate their organization’s sixteenth year of existence. They play that sweet sixteen Hilary Duff song about a thousand times and as all things A Cappella usually do it turns into a singing competition. 

They’re riffing and Jesse is singing some Justin Timberlake song. Or maybe it’s an NSync song. There really isn’t a difference because Jesse thinks he’s Justin Timberlake anyway. He points at Beca (who is rolling her eyes) and sings “I got an idea, why don’t you be my girlfriend? I’ll treat you good. I know you hear your friends when they say you should. ‘Cause if you were my-“

Chloe shouldn’t but it’s just too good to resist, she struts up and interrupts him, “Girlfrieennd, yeah, yeah, ‘cause I’m bored.” She dances in front of Jesse suggestively and Jesse takes a step back. “You could hit in the mornin’. Yeah, yeah like it’s yours.” She flips her hair as she turns her back to him. Beca’s mouth is wide open and she’s staring at Chloe. Chloe stares back. “I know it ain’t right, but I don’t care. Break up with your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah ‘cause I’m bored.”

Beca drags Chloe out of the club a few minutes later through the back door when a new round of singing has started up. She’s smiling but she sounds worked up.

“Do you think that was cute?”

“…Yes?”

“Chloe, I swear to God.”

“It’s not my fault that the songs worked!”

“You think you’re bad?” Beca is saying angry words but her tone is light.

“Maybe.”

“You know what happens to bad girls?”

“What happens to bad girls?”

Beca flips Chloe around and pulls up Chloe’s skirt, exposing her bare ass which causes Chloe to yelp.

“Do you really not have underwear on?”

“Oh, who wears underwear? Beca we’re in _public_.”

“You like it in public,” Beca says and then she slaps Chloe’s ass.

It doesn’t really hurt; the sting feels more exhilarating than anything else. It still shuts Chloe up pretty fast.

“Are you ever gonna dance on him again?”

“Beca someone might walk by.”

Beca smacks Chloe’s ass a bit harder and says, “Are you ever gonna dance on him again?” louder. 

“If the integrity of the Bellas depends on it.”

“Well luckily we don’t have any integrity,” Beca loudly whispers and bites the back of Chloe’s neck. Chloe groans loudly. As usual Beca is doing something for her that no one else can do.

Beca fucks Chloe behind the club messily and quickly. She turns to go inside and says, “You coming?” 

Chloe smiles and says, “In a minute,” even though she has zero intention to go back inside. She heads home and ends up sitting in someone’s abandoned tailgate. There’s a football game the following afternoon and people have set up to tailgate all across the campus. She takes a few minutes to sober up while playing music over her phone’s speaker.

When she feels up to it she walks into the night wondering how Beca became the main character of her own life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to believe the girl that Stacie had sex with is Aubrey that's YOUR PREROGATIVE BOO BOO.
> 
> Confident Chloe is my favorite Chloe. [Here's actual footage of the riff off showdown between Chloe and Jesse.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV2oYufaDHc)


	8. My Blindside

Chloe can’t explain why she soaks her sheets with sweat in her sleep or why she can only stand being around Jesse if she’s been drinking.

**

Chloe decides to meet up with Aubrey and some of her friends at a chalet in the Smokies outside of Gatlinburg for the last few days of Christmas break. She overhears Beca making New Year’s plans with Jesse on the phone and practically runs out of the room chewing hard on her tongue trying to block it out.

After a grey Christmas, Chloe flies from Portland to the Nashville airport and Aubrey picks her up giggly and excited. They sing along to top forty radio stations as they drive east for three hours and for the first time in a while Chloe feels herself loosen up. She feels a bit tense when Aubrey keeps mentioning a guy named Leo that Chloe ‘Might just hit it off with.’

They drive up winding, cramped mountain roads and Chloe is glad that Aubrey has an SUV, but her anxieties are confirmed when they get to the impressive cabin after creeping up the grandiose mountains. She and Aubrey pop out of the car and a group of people yell down at them from a deck. The pretty young people are sitting in a steaming hot tub.

A muscled-up guy opens the door and Chloe braces herself.

“Chloe,” Aubrey drags out the E sound. “This is Cliff! We’re…kind of seeing each other!”

_Oh._ “Oh!” Chloe is kind of shocked because Aubrey hasn’t mentioned Cliff once.

Cliff ends up being kind of a bro but tolerable in small doses. Leo has a very pretty face but is kind of opinionated. Chloe finds herself having to walk back things she’s said because he denies or negates them, and Chloe wants to keep the peace. Chloe’s usually fine around strangers but set ups like this never go well.

When she sees that Leo is sleeping in the loft of the chalet, she makes a point to pick a bedroom in the basement. Aubrey and Cliff are super touchy and all over one another. Aubrey is always in his lap whether they’re soaking in the hot tub or watching a movie at night. 

They’re finally having some fun together cooking (somehow all the girls got stuck with the cooking) in the morning. Aubrey is making a cinnamon roll breakfast casserole and is flicking icing at Chloe and making jokes about how Chloe should just swallow it already when Chloe’s phone rings and Beca’s face pops up on the screen.

“Oh my god is that Beca?” Aubrey exclaims and snatches the phone up off the counter before Chloe can grab it.

“Chloe’s phone, how can I help you?”

Chloe huffs and rubs her forehead.

“No, no. You’re stuck with me. How are this year’s arrangements coming?”

**

Chloe has started to think she’s probably not entirely straight (not the biggest surprise or the end of the world, but not exactly what she had bargained for either.)

Chloe’s in the library and she sees Stacie. Normally she would wave and let Stacie get on with her studying, but Stacie plays the field more than anyone else she knows. The Bellas have gotten pretty tight knit and Chloe thinks it might not hurt to get some advice because despite her best efforts to be ‘good’ she can’t stop thinking about Beca. 

“Hey Stacie, whatcha doing?”

“Doing research for a paper on Shkadov Thrusters.”

“Excuse me?” Chloe asks.

“It’s a type of stellar engine. You know what don’t worry about it.”

“Ok well I guess I wanted to ask you something.”

“What’s up?”

“Um…Well I was wondering if in any of your…situations you’ve been…” Chloe lowers her voice. “the _other woman_?”

“Well it’s not something I go seeking out, but it’s happened before. It didn’t last long though.”

“Did you feel too guilty?”

“Not exactly he just left her for me once I found out.” Stacie looks like she's at least _trying_ not to look smug.

“Stacie!”

“I didn’t _ask_ him too and I didn’t see him again after that!”

Chloe sighs. This isn’t helpful.

**

Somehow, Chloe thinks, it would be worse if they weren’t having sex. Because that would mean that Beca had chosen Jesse over her. But this way it’s more like Beca chooses Jesse in front of everyone else and behind closed doors she chooses Chloe again and again. Besides if Beca wants to mess around on Jesse it’s not like that’s Chloe’s fault or problem. (It feels like a problem but that doesn’t make it one.)

**

Despite their compartmentalized drama, in a group setting Beca has wormed her way into the position of Chloe’s best friend, especially as Aubrey moves on with her life. Chloe likes to go hiking, and she likes shopping, and she likes going to the movies and Beca always comes along with an assortment of other Bellas. 

It seems like every time Chloe turns around Beca is there at her elbow. Beca gets grumpy probably a little more than her fair share, but she tells Chloe that she’s stressed out by class, work, and her overbearing dad. Chloe can commiserate, this whole college thing is definitely a marathon.

It’s easier like this. Chloe hadn't loved having to tiptoe around Beca the previous year feeling a bit like a voyeur. Beca has loosened up this year and without the pressure of Aubrey trying to redeem herself the Bellas have become more social and at least a bit more relaxed although Chloe desperately still wants to win the ICCAs again.

However, they aren’t going to win with the snooze-y ballad of a mashup that Beca turns over to Chloe as winter drags into spring.

“Beca this is very pretty but we’re not going to win with it. You’re the one who blazed our trail to singing something more upbeat, c’mon,” Chloe says as sweetly as she can.

“No, I know, I just thought you might like it.”

“I do like it I just don’t think we’ll win with it.”

“I’ll come up with something that’s really over the top for nationals,” Beca promises.

“You’re the best.”

**

Once it gets warm enough Chloe has the girls over for a pool party and everyone, but Cynthia-Rose gets drunk. Chloe has to actively suppress her memories of the emotional encounter she had with Beca in the pool but it’s still a lot of fun. Cynthia-Rose drives Beca, Chloe, Jessica, and Ashley to get frozen yogurt but Chloe wants Hawaiian Shaved Ice. By the time they get to the Icee place, Beca orders one too. She’s already finished her large order of soft serve and looks so pleased with herself. Chloe can’t stop laughing at the satisfied look on Beca’s face as she dives into her second dessert in ten minutes.

**

But as wholesome of an image that Beca and Chloe present the other side of the coin keeps landing face up as they sneak off to public restrooms (they hook up in bathrooms an inordinate amount of the time, Chloe can’t quite figure out why), to Chloe’s apartment, even to deserted corners of the quad in the middle of the night to hook up.

Chloe keeps telling herself it’s not a big deal, but she can’t stop thinking about it. She catches herself fantasizing about Beca, but she always snaps out of it to the reality that Beca first and foremost has a boyfriend and Chloe is only her best friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh listen to the mashup [Beca made for Chloe.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEA-TE9BZvc&t=77s)
> 
> Aubrey was up in those mountains hoping she'd see Bigfoot.


	9. Look What You Started...

It seems like maybe Jesse and Benji should take at least half a page out of Bumper’s book because the Treble Makers don’t even make the ICCA finals this year. Chloe feels a bit guilty but can’t help but internally gloat. Aubrey is probably thrilled. 

This year the finals are in San Francisco, which is bright and windy and hilly, but Chloe is too consumed with Beca to notice. As co-captains they share a room and it’s the first time they’ve properly slept together. 

The room has two queen beds, but they get in from their flight late and after spending the whole day with their legs pressed together on planes and taxis and brushing up against each other in airports they fall on top of one another and don’t ever bother to establish the other bed as a sleeping zone.

Waking up to Beca feels alien and otherworldly and incredibly cozy and convenient all at once.

They win the national championship again and they all go out to celebrate but Beca makes eyes at Chloe and Chloe takes her cue.

**

Back in the hotel room they’ve been messing around for hours. They’re playing a new game Beca has sprung on Chloe. Before she puts her head between Chloe’s thighs, she says, “Tell me before you finish, you can’t without my permission.”

So Beca has been teasing Chloe to the brink of orgasm then right before she comes Beca’s been pulling away. Chloe has been playing along, soaking up the attention but as the night wears on she feels herself wind up and start to ache for release.

Eventually Chloe can’t take it anymore. She feels swollen and almost sick despite, or maybe due to, the onslaught of pleasure she’s been enduring. If she looked in a mirror, she’d see that her face is white and covered in a sheen of sweat. Her arms and legs are trembling and as Beca kisses down her body for at least the twelfth time she grabs at Beca’s hand and says “Beca…Please…you can’t. You have to… _Please”_

Beca just surges down and puts her hot mouth on Chloe, immediately flicking her tongue against Chloe’s clit causing Chloe to twitch and then writhe around. Beca grabs Chloe’s other hand and pins both of them down to the bed and though Chloe gives a halfhearted tug to free her hands she can’t help but enjoy the feeling of being restrained.

Beca gives hers a pointed look and Chloe moans and her abdomen constricts as an orgasm starts to build. Beca replaces her tongue with a finger and she says, “Are you close?” in a raspy voice.

“Please…so close…Please,” Chloe gasps out.

“Not yet.” And with that Beca pulls away. 

“Beca you _can’t_.”

“Just calm down for a minute,” Beca says in a gentle voice. She reaches up to stroke Chloe’s hair and Chloe grabs her hand and puts two of Beca’s fingers in her own mouth and starts to suck on them.

Beca gives her a confused look but it turns into one of arousal and she pushes her fingers into Chloe’s throat and then deeper. Chloe gags for a moment but Beca says “Don’t choke.” and Chloe breaths through her nose and makes a point to relax. As much trouble as it may get her into there’s this level of trust, she has with Beca that she’s never had with anyone else.

“Are you gonna be good?” Beca asks and Chloe makes her eyes wide and nods trying to look obedient.

“Good.” Beca takes her fingers out of Chloe’s mouth and reaches down in between Chloe’s legs and pushes inside her with authoritative energy. Chloe makes a near pitiful noise and wraps her arms around Beca’s neck and Beca drills into her. She works her fingers deeper and is hitting the exact right spot and quickly Chloe starts to spiral out of control.

“Beca. Jesus, _Beca_ ”

“Yeah that’s good. I’ll let you come if you say my name when you do.”

Chloe feels an explosion in her stomach, and she moans out Beca’s name like a porn star would as the orgasm floods her body. She’s completely spent and exhausted and Beca has to cup her chin and pull her into a kiss as Chloe catches her breath. "Good girl," Beca says in a low voice and Chloe shivers.

After a beat Beca says, “So is it my turn?”

Chloe exhales and says, “God I’m dying. I just need to sleep. You completely wore me out.” She's never been spent like this but it's four in the morning and she really is just done for the night. She's not proud of it but it is what it is.

Beca laughs and says, “You’re such a pillow princess. Ok, ok. I know it’s late. I’ll settle for morning sex.”

They’ve never really verbally planned to have sex before, but Chloe feels herself looking forward to the morning.

**

But in the morning Beca isn’t there when Chloe wakes up. It’s odd since Chloe is usually a morning person and Beca is notorious for having a streak of insomnia and being late to every morning meeting and practice.

Chloe gets in the shower and after a few minutes she hears a knock on the door. Beca pokes her head into the bathroom and says, “Hey I got breakfast.”

“Perfect! I’ll be right out!” Chloe feels extra bubbly at the idea of a big breakfast.

“Can I join you.”

“…I think I owe you anyway.”

“You definitely owe me.”

Chloe ends up getting down on her knees and eating Beca out in the shower. She loves the feeling of water rolling down her and Beca’s moans echo in the bathroom. She has to close her eyes to keep water out of them and excess liquid flows into her mouth, but she doesn’t care. Having to feel and hear everything with her eyes closed just enhances the experience.

**

When they get out of the shower Chloe puts her pajamas on. They’re crisp and clean since she’s been sleeping naked the whole trip. She’s going to wear them on the plane anyway.

“Did you get room service?” Chloe asks.

“Nah that costs like a hundred dollars. There’s a diner around the corner. I got it to go.”

“You’re so savvy.”

Chloe puts some jelly on a biscuit, and it all feels a bit too much like paradise. Like Beca might bring her a cocktail and whisk her off to a tropical beach or something. But a few minutes into breakfast Jesse calls and Beca quickly puts her headphones in and takes the call in the hallway. 

Chloe bites her lip until the sting takes her mind off the pressure building in her chest.

**

When Chloe gets back to campus, she’s due for another equally as bad interruption. It’s fair to say that her focus hadn’t been on school this semester and she hadn’t realized she had a major Russian lit paper due while they were away at the finals.

She puts on her most presentable dress, one that makes her look sweet and approachable, and tries to make an appeal to her professor but her professor is a stickler.

**

So, she’ll be back at Barden next year.

Whatever, lots of people take a while to graduate. This way she can get a minor. Maybe in music or vocal performance. Beca can probably help her with the music theory classes.

Aubrey calls, voice laced with worry “-just to check in. I know you’re leading the Bellas to greatness but make sure to focus on you too Chlo.”

It’s fine. It’s really fine. Chloe isn’t a perfect student but she’s still in control of her life. She has options. She gets a job at a swanky movie theater back home and makes a point not to ask her parents for any money.

“We just want you to be happy sweetie," her dad says.

“I am happy. I really am.”

**

She is happy most of the time, but she misses Beca. She misses Beca’s laugh and crinkled eyes. She misses the hooded look on Beca’s face as she grabs her hand to sneak off and kiss in the corner of a club. She hasn’t been so sprung on someone since middle school probably. Chloe has always been one-part hopeless romantic, one-part complete turbo sexual and she isn’t going to change her spots now.

She sings to herself while she walks to work as she daydreams, “We could live in a house with two kids, you and me, diamond ring we could do our own thing.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh,


	10. The Basement Can Be a Closet

Chloe goes back to school a little early to help ensure the Bellas get first dibs on an abandoned sorority house. The sorority, Delta Delta Delta, was booted off of campus for hazing. There’s a lot of ‘Can’t get a girl? Try Delt.’ jokes floated around but it’s a pretty great deal all in all.

With nine of them most of the girls partner up but as the captain of the group Chloe gets a room all to herself. Chloe feels like it’s so obvious, they must know. They must know about her and Beca. It’s been going on for years. They must know…except…they can’t. Chloe feels a sort of nervous perverseness as she sets up her single room. 

Beca doesn’t comment but smiles at the house meeting where they all sort out who’s rooming with who. She seems perfectly happy to share the loft with Amy.

**

Chloe isn’t shy about texting Beca when she knows she’s upstairs in the house to request her company in her room late at night and Beca will poke her head in the door frame in the middle of the day if and when all the other Bellas are in class. But for Chloe’s tastes, far too often the house is rumbling with activity.

It’s Chloe that comes up with the idea about the basement. It’s filled with crap that the Tri Delts left in the house. A dirty, old bathtub with claw feet, an assortment of folding chairs, and an old workman’s bench all clutter it up.

It doesn’t matter how messy it is though, the best thing about the basement is that it has an old school trap door outside behind the house to compliment the main entrance that’s inside the house. Chloe has the only key and being able enter it hidden by shrubbery is just too convenient for Beca and Chloe not to take advantage.

**

When Chloe sheepishly presents the novelty handcuffs to Beca, the other girl widens her eyes and clears her throat. Chloe is a little embarrassed, but her curiosity outweighs all of that noise by a few decibels. Beca takes the lead from there and shows up with the real deal, metal ones that don’t have a self-release lever, after Chloe breaks the fake ones.

That’s how Chloe finds herself sitting on the worktable in the basement, arms behind her back, cuffs on and linked around a metal bar behind the table.

She’s naked from the waist down (probably should have gotten undressed before she let Beca put the handcuffs on her, but she was in a mood) and she’s got her legs wrapped tightly around Beca as she kisses her neck. Beca tries to wriggle away but Chloe won’t let her lose.

“Stop topping from the bottom Chloe.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“You’re getting my shirt wet.”

They’re both startled and Beca breaks Chloe’s leg lock to jump away when they hear the basement door rattling. Someone’s walking around up there.

“The key, get the key!” Chloe says as quietly as she can.

“Fuck, shit, fuck! I can’t find it!”

Beca is fumbling around reaching into her front and back pockets, looking around on the table, turning around and looking behind her. Chloe’s yanking around in earnest trying to get lose. 

Beca grabs a sheet off a piece of furniture.

“Beca what are you-”

“Don’t move!”

Beca tosses the sheet over Chloe and runs off.

  
“Don’t you fucking DARE!” Chloe hisses.

“Shhhhh!”

Chloe pulls her knees up her chest and sits there, huddled trying not to move. This is SO stupid and for a minute Chloe tries to calculate exactly what horrible thing she did in a previous life to deserve to end up in this scenario, but after a moment or two Beca walks back over.

“I guess they’re gone.” She says in a hushed tone.

**

Chloe thinks they’ve gotten away with it but later that night some of the girls are eating dinner together.

“I heard someone crying in the basement today,” Flo says.

“I heard something moaning down there last week!” Cynthia-Rose responds.

The girls are chatting about what it could be and Beca is mouthing something urgently to Chloe.

“Uhh, I’ve heard it too…I think the basement is haunted?” Chloe says.

Beca looks completely lost for words.

“HAUNTED!?” Amy blurts out. “Well we need to do an exorcism!”

“Maybe we should just stay out of the basement,” Beca says, shaking her head.

They still meet up in the basement but save the toys for Chloe’s bedroom at night and work on being a lot more quiet.

**

Chloe’s getting ready for the Halloween party that the Trebles are hosting. She tries to avoid the boys, but this is an official mixer between the Treble Makers and the Bellas.

She walks out into the living room and Amy gestures at Chloe’s sequined green mini skirt and purple crop top.

“And what are you supposed to be?”

“I’m Arial!”

“Well you look like a slut.”

“Fat Amy…” Beca warns.

“A very pretty slut! Maybe you should wear a snorkel or something so people know who you are.”

“She can breath underwater Amy...”

Amy shrugs and saunters out of the room and Chloe walks up to Beca and says, “What are you supposed to be?”

“Umm a DJ I guess.”

But at the party the costume it seems like Beca has on is doting straight girlfriend. Jesse is dressed up as Danny Zuko from Grease and she spends all night dancing with him bopping along to sugary pop music and throwing Mini-Snickers at him.

Chloe dances with different Trebles and settles on one. She spends the night with him in a haze of cheap beer and Monster Mash. 

When she wakes up, she gets dressed quickly and tries to sneak out of the house without anyone noticing but when she gets to the kitchen, she runs into Beca who’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and making coffee.

“What are you doing here?” Beca sounds startled.

“What are _you_ doing here?”

Beca sighs. “You know what I’m doing here.”

Chloe is at a loss for words but feels grossed out at all the implications this little morning rendezvous has. She hurries out of the back door and walks home as fast as she can in the cool morning air.

She makes a point to avoid Beca as much as she can for a few weeks, but Beca brings her hot chocolate one afternoon and they end up having sex on the floor of Chloe’s room since the other girls are around and the bed makes too much noise.

**

Chloe’s in the living room with the lights out unwinding after a long day of classes and a particularly intense session at the gym.

Beca walks in and asks her, “What are you watching?”

“Vampire Diaries.”

“This show is so dumb,” Beca says, but she sits down to watch along anyway.

“So, she’s like the guy’s old lover’s twin sister?”

Chloe smiles and starts explaining the plot to Beca. 

She ends up resting her head on Chloe’s shoulder and stays like that until some of the other Bellas loudly arrive at the house. When they hear the chatter of the other girls Beca gets up and turns the lights on. Chloe rubs her shoulder where Beca’s head had been propped up and sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're so STUPID. 
> 
> Anyone else hyped about the potential edits that will come from the new movie Hooking Up coming out in a few weeks? Everybody PLEASE do your worst!


	11. All Aboard the F TRAIN

Chloe’s on her bed down on her knees and elbows and Beca is fucking her from behind aggressively with three fingers. Chloe is rolling her head around senselessly and it feels like she's practically drooling. 

Beca slips a fourth finger in and Chloe inhales sharply and draws herself up to her hands.

“Does it hurt?” Beca asks.

Chloe gets caught between saying ‘Not really’ and ‘No’ and it comes out as, “Nah.”

Beca reaches down and puts her free hand around Chloe’s neck and pulls her up on her knees so her back is flush with Beca’s chest and says, “Don’t run from it then.”

Now it does hurt, just a little bit, like a pinching feeling. The angle is wrong and Beca’s hand is twisted in a way it wasn't before. Beca’s always known how to push Chloe’s buttons and boundaries though and Chloe isn’t about to tap out now even with half of Beca’s hand inside her, so she reaches behind her and roughly pulls Beca down to her face by the back of the head and kisses her with an open mouth and audacious craving.

Once the sting fades Chloe relaxes into how good feels to be so full. She wonders what else she would let Beca to do her and she really can’t come up with anything that she wouldn’t at least try if Beca asked her. 

Beca sleeps in her room that night and Chloe doesn’t want to get up when she wakes to Beca curled around her back, arm tight around Chloe’s stomach. Beca’s nose brushes Chloe’s bare back as she wakes up that morning and it feels like little kisses.

**

Chloe feels like slowly, almost imperceivably, she’s going insane. Day by day she acts like everything is ok. But as she squirms along, she keeps catching herself wondering what her life has become. Her anxiety has gotten a bit worse and she’s a little less social. She used to float around a lot of groups, but these days she fine-tunes her focus on to the Bellas.

Her acquaintances from high school are already a year or two into their real lives but Chloe doesn’t see what all the buzz is about. It all seems pretty pedestrian compared to the highs of singing and dancing for an audience. She wonders if she was a stripper in another life.

She throws herself into rehearsals and spends hours watching YouTube videos for choreography ideas. When they aren’t having sex or awkwardly avoiding one another’s glances when Jesse is around (because that’s just become second nature now), Chloe and Beca work intensely together going over ideas for performances. It’s when Chloe feels the most free and powerful.

**

Chloe wants the Bellas to get a mascot, like a house dog.

“Who will take it over the summer, Chlo?” Stacie asks.

“I will! I don’t care!” Chloe tries to make her case.

“I can’t _believe_ how much white people care about dogs.” Cynthia-Rose says with great interest.

“A dog might be a good idea for security purposes.” Flo muses.

“We’re not getting a dog.” Beca says as if she has the final word on the subject.

“Um, excuse me. Who died and made you our dad?” Amy interjects.

“Oh ok, do _you_ wanna be in charge of training it, or taking it out, or paying for the vet’s office?”

“Well…no. That sounds like work for peasants.”

“Beca, I’ll do all of that stuff!” Chloe could call the matter to a vote, but she isn’t sure she’d have the majority.

“That’s what I’m worried about. Look why don’t we volunteer at a shelter or the Humane Society or something before we go out and get a dog.”

And that’s how the Bellas end up doing their first ever volunteer work. Beca insists that they all participate at least once a month and playing with all the sweet dogs is one of Chloe’s favorite activities on the planet. It seems like it’s one of Beca’s favorite things as well.

**

Beca’s in the background of everything Chloe does. Beca hates ketchup and Chloe starts to find it _does_ taste a little vinegary. Dozens of songs make Chloe think of her. 

Taylor Swift’s discography paints an entire series of mental imagines of Beca (even though Beca scowls when T Swift comes on usually, when she’s been drinking Beca will always sing along to You Belong With Me.)

All these thoughts of Beca are enough to make Chloe’s eye twitch.

Chloe’s making a sandwich and Beca walks in,

“What are you making?”

“Toasted prosciutto and cream cheese.”

“Ugh groooooooss”

“Don’t knock it until you try it.”

“Hey you’ve got a little- “

Beca reaches up and uses her thumb to rub something off of Chloe’s mouth and looks softly at her for a few seconds. Then she swoops in gives Chloe a muted and faint kiss.

Chloe is shocked and pulls away with surprise. Out of instinct she looks around to make sure no one is watching.

“Beca…What’s gotten into you?”

Beca shakes her head.

“Nothing.”

**

Chloe doesn’t see her little outburst coming but Beca’s on top of her and she can’t stop thinking about how these stolen moments are everything to her and she’s so desperate to express herself. Her feeling towards Beca are so _confusing_ and _strong_ she’s overwhelmed trying to put them into words.

“I..I..” she says trying to get her thoughts out. It wouldn’t be the first time she’s started a sentence without knowing exactly what she’s going or trying to say.

Beca’s nearly looming over her and she leans down and says, “What is it baby?”

Chloe feels herself grey out at the word ‘baby’ and she’s talking before she even knows what she’s saying.

“I’d let you come inside me if you were a guy,” she rushes out, a little louder than she’d meant to say.

“WHAT?” Beca sounds a _little_ alarmed but her eyes are twinkling.

“I don’t know, I don’t know. I don’t know why I said that! Oh God.”

“You…are _such_ a freak!”

“I know!” Chloe practically wails. She feels a little hysterical. The sex is on pause, they’re both giggling.

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“There are no other girls.”

Chloe doesn’t mean anything deep by it, it’s just the truth. She’s considered trying to date girls but honestly it feels wrong. She suspects that it has something to do with Beca, like Beca is meeting all her lesbian needs or something, but she can’t a hundred percent put her finger on it.

“Well…well that’s quite a line you’ve got there isn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will admit this ENTIRE story got written because I couldn't get the image of Beca saying 'don't run from it.' to Chloe out of my mind and I can't believe how many words it took to get there. I'm like...open to smut prompts if you have any.


	12. One Touch

The Bellas put on a Christmas party and invite all the other a cappella groups. Really how many a cappella singing groups can this campus support but whatever. Chloe might be nearing organ damage from the amount of sugary, booze-y drinks she’s had. She’s still able to pick out The Halloween Hookup Treble. His name is Johnson.

Johnson’s a decent guy. He’s funny. He brushes his dark hair out of his faded blue eyes as he tells jokes. He’s sarcastic and self-deprecating in the same breath. He’s got a great voice and a knack for music. At first glance he seems a little too cool for a cappella but really, he has a huge passion for it. He’s a bit of an introvert but he’s reliably interested in Chloe. He’d definitely hold hands with her in public.

In the end attention always has the same relative sweet flavor so Chloe drags him off to a bathroom to make out and it heats up. Before she knows it, she’s pulling his pants down, hopping on the bathroom sink, and pulling her skirt up. It feels so good to be wanted. Chloe wraps her legs around him, and he lifts her up. She sinks down on his dick and bites his shoulder at the sensation.

The door flies open (seriously?) and Chloe’s horrified to see Beca.

“What the FUCK Chloe!?”

Chloe scrambles backwards, letting go of Johnson’s shoulders she flails her arms behind her trying to find the sink. She accidentally flips a tap on, and Johnson stumbles forward to put her down. 

“Uhhh.” Chloe’s not sure what to say.

“Uhhh.” Johnson’s not helping.

Beca spins around but then keeps turning so all she succeeds in doing is spinning around in a circle before facing them again. Johnson reaches around Chloe to turn off the sink.

“Oh my god.”

This time Beca manages to find her way out of the bathroom. Chloe straightens out her dress and pushes by Johnson.

She catches up to Beca who glowers at her and says, “Is that the same guy from Halloween?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you like dating him now?”

“No. I don’t know. What does it matter to you anyway?”

It looks like there’s a thunderstorm going on behind Beca’s eyes.

“You cannot date him.”

Chloe feels something crack inside her head.

“Are you _seriously_ trying to tell me who I can and can’t date, really? You?”

“I’m not trying to- “

They haven’t fought like this since Beca’s freshman year.

“Since when have you cared about who’s dating who Beca?”

Beca doesn’t have an answer for that she just shakes her head.

“That’s what I thought.”

Chloe’s done with this conversation. She’s so exhausted from keeping Beca’s secrets.

**

Chloe doesn’t end up dating Johnson but whatever damage that would have meant for her and Beca’s friendship has already been done. Chloe can hardly stand to be around her and Beca won’t even spare her a glance.

Fine.

**

Chloe goes to visit Aubrey for spring break, thank God she and Cliff broke up a while ago. Aubrey is bouncy and happy to see Chloe and Chloe is just glad to be out of the stifling and awkward Bella house.

They hike up a mountain to a view and sit in the sun appreciating it. The air is sweet even though there’s still a chill. As they’re hiking back to Aubrey’s cabin Aubrey says, “But really how is everything going?”

“I don’t know. I…I’m pissed at Beca and we have regionals coming up and- “

“I was more asking about class and life and stuff.”

“Oh. I don’t know. Fine?”

“You don’t sound too convinced.”

“Aubrey…”

“Wait why are you mad at Beca?”

“I’m um, I’m not. I don’t know. Let me tell you about my classes.”

**

At the very least Beca has put an extra effort into their arrangement for regionals and they crush the competition. Likewise, with the semifinals. Chloe and Beca have been avoiding each other but they still keep up with appearances around the other Bellas so when Stacie offers to room with Jessica and Ashley in the hotel at finals so everyone else can double up to save money Beca and Chloe end up paired together as usual.

Chloe thinks maybe they should get together and talk before, but she chickens out and Beca seems fine with keeping things distant and businesslike. 

**

The finals are in Orlando this year and Chloe coordinates the girls going to Disney World for a whirlwind of a day where they get there the second the gates open, abuse fast passes, and hit every park in one day.

Everyone goes but Beca which is sort of sad because it really is fun.

When Chloe gets back to the room no one is there. Go figure, Beca had better things to do. Chloe showers and the water soothes her tired muscles. She’s spent all day being jerked around by roller coasters and baking in the sun. New freckles have cropped up on her skin and even though it’s early she’s tired.

She puts on her pajamas, collapses into bed, and falls asleep quickly.

**

When Chloe wakes up it’s still dark out and the room is filled with steam. It’s coming from the bathroom. Chloe’s legs feel heavy and she pads over to the door and she can hear singing. Why Beca decided to take a shower with the bathroom door wide open is beyond her. Who sings that loudly when someone else is sleeping?

She pauses at the doorway. “Hey Beca?”

“Hey Chloe.”

“Um what are you doing?”

“Come in here.”

Chloe sighs and steps into the bathroom making a point to look at the ceiling.

“Beca, we have to perform tomorrow. It’s too late for...whatever it is you’re doing. Or at least it is for me.”

“Aw c’mon Chlo it’s never too late for you.”

“What does _that_ mean?” Chloe blurts out.

“Come get in the shower and find out.”

“I don’t think that- “

“C’mon you’re already naked.”

“Well I can put clothes on if it’s that much of a distraction.”

The room is hot and thick with steam. It’s making Chloe feel all warm and cozy.

Beca sighs and says, “Please don’t. Come in here please. It’s been so long. I miss you. I- “

But the rest of whatever Beca was going to say is drowned out by the shower.

“Are you sorry?”

“For what?”

“I don’t even know anymore. Ok scoot over.”

Beca pulls the shower curtain open and grabs Chloe’s wrist to hurry her into the shower.

Chloe puts her arms on Beca’s shoulders and stares into her eyes.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

Beca leans towards her.

“I’ve missed you more.”

Chloe rests her forehead against Beca’s and lets out a breath. Beca erases the space between them and kisses Chloe gently and deeply. Chloe hums against Beca’s lips and as Beca slips her hands in between Chloe’s thighs Chloe moans out Beca’s name.

“What?”

Chloe’s own noises wake her up with a start. “What?”

“You just said my name. You woke me up. Are you ok?”

“Well, maybe I just wanted to tell you…that I missed you.”

“I miss you too.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

“What because I didn’t yell your name in the middle of the night.”

“No- ”

“Fine, CHLOE!”

“Uh.”

“I miss you too ok? A lot.”

“Ok.”

“Can we please be friends again?”

_Were we ever friends?_

“Of course.”

“Good.”

“We should go to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That first scene brought to you by everything Brittany Snow has been in where she has sex with some dude in a bathroom: SVU, My Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Workaholics, Someone Great, The trailer for Hooking up, and I haven't seen it but I assume it happens in American Dreams too. *I REALLY HAD TO COME BACK AND EDIT THIS BECAUSE I FORGOT SHE DID IT IN ALMOST FAMILY TOO SUCH A WEIRD TYPECAST.
> 
> Getting close to PP2 territory where shit's really gonna go crazy.


	13. Cruel for the Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I got a tumblr come HOLLA AT ME](https://cameron-gray-esquire.tumblr.com/)

With possibly Beca’s best musical arrangement since her freshman year they win the national championship for the third year running. Even better is that in celebration Chloe and Beca hug, and it’s the first time they’ve touched in what feels like forever.

The Trebles, who have somewhat restored their previous glory come in second, but damn does it feel good to beat them when they’re at their best.

When Beca throws her arms around Jesse, Chloe feels a familiar wave of jealous shame run down her spine. Maybe it’s good that they’re not hooking up anymore. That doesn’t really change how Chloe feels though. Like once she dove into the illicit world of hooking up with Beca even if she stopped, she would always be that person. The person who was involved in an affair, that was too weak to stop it for years, that had zero agency, and followed her heart even if it led down paths lined with painful secrets.

Chloe doesn’t know how she got like this. The girl who’s obsessed with a girl that loves a boy. This isn’t her. Except now it is. It’s all she is. Even when she and Beca had been fighting she fell asleep with her stomach in knots over Beca and woke up with her on her mind. 

Beca retreats back to the girls and grabs Chloe’s hand and shouts, “I’m celebrating with the ladies tonight!” A familiar warmth swoops down deep in her chest and she can’t help but grin harder. Chloe squeezes Beca’s hand and smiles at her. She knows she’s got a dopey look on her face, but she doesn’t care. Not now, not while she’s on top of the world.

**

Sticking to her most annoying college tradition Chloe fails Russian Lit again. She thinks maybe she should be embarrassed but she promises her parents she’ll get a job pronto and keep it the entire year to build up her resume. They sigh and reiterate their love and support for her.

Aubrey calls and expresses her concern. Everyone does in one way or another. Chloe waves it off and gets a job at the campus bookstore. She thinks she’ll have the house to herself this summer but Beca surprises her and everyone by announcing she’s been promoted at the radio station. She’ll be in charge of the place over the summer.

Chloe can’t really believe it but with the rest of the Bellas _and Jesse_ gone she and Beca will be playing house all summer. The news is delightful and scary all at the same time.

**

Things devolve quickly as Beca cooks pasta for them the first night of the summer and they both have a few glasses of wine. Beca ends up shucking her napkin, standing up from the dining table, and marching over to Chloe.

“I really can’t wait anymore, can you?” Beca asks breathlessly.

“Not at all,” Chloe says as she stands up and pushes Beca onto the table.

“Oh shit. Uh, we could go to your bedroom,” Beca says, a little taken off guard.

“Like you said, can’t wait.” Chloe moans a bit as she slams Beca’s hands down on the table and pushes her body between Beca’s legs. Chloe kisses Beca eagerly and Beca kisses back. They’re both breathing heavily through their noses. When Chloe leans away Beca tries to follow her, but she can’t with her hands pinned to the table.

Chloe plunges back in to kiss and bite Beca’s neck.

She bites one particular spot and Beca murmurs out, “God damn.” and Chloe bites down harder. 

Chloe knows what she’s doing. For literal years Beca’s been leaving bite marks, hickeys, and handprints on sensitive, secret spots all over Chloe’s body and Chloe has just been taking it. She’s been restraining herself because she knows there’s a chance if she returns the favor that Jesse will see.

Well not a chance. Jesse would definitely see because he and Beca are young, hotblooded college students. They probably fuck all the time and Beca’s pale skin is especially conducive to holding little marks and bruises, though Jesse never seems to leave much evidence of their sex life either. 

Chloe pulls back to admire her handiwork on Beca’s neck and thinks nervously that even with Jesse’s absence maybe Beca won’t appreciate showing up to work looking like a high school sophomore but Beca doesn’t seem to mind.

She does mind however, when Chloe tries to strip Beca out of her jeans. “Nooope, I’m not putting my ass on the dinner table. Let’s go to your room.”

Chloe agrees this time and they head to her bedroom stripping off their own and one another’s clothes. When they collapse onto her bed Beca reaches down in between Chloe’s legs for a moment but then she withdraws. Chloe moans at the loss of contact, “Jesus don’t stop it’s been so long.”

“No wait…I know but…I want to watch you do it.”

“Watch me?”

Beca raises and eyebrows and tilts her head at Chloe. When Chloe doesn’t catch the hint Beca grabs her hand and lowers it down to Chloe’s wet sex.

Chloe feels a bit put on the spot but more than that she feels turned on, so she rolls over onto her stomach to oblige.

“No not like that I want to see everything,” Beca protests as she pulls on Chloe’s shoulder to roll her back over.

“But that’s how I always do it.”

“Please.”

Chloe really doesn’t need to be asked another time. Beca seems so into this it’s flattering. She starts to touch herself and looks at Beca, who runs her eyes up and down Chloe’s naked body and licks her lips. Chloe quickens her pace puts on a bit of a show. She closes her eyes, rolls her hips, and moans loudly. This is kind of fun and really hot. A shyer girl might not think so but, well, Chloe’s always been confident. 

Beca abruptly puts a stop to it after a few minutes, though.

“Beca,” Chloe whines.

“Sorry I can’t just watch anymore.”

Well Chloe’s ok with _that_.

**

The next morning Chloe’s at the bookstore when she gets a text from Beca.

**Beca:** So last night was pretty hot…

**Chloe:** You don’t have to remind me

**Beca:** You know what I really liked?

**Chloe:** Having three orgasms in 90 mins?

**Beca:** Well I’m not going to complain about that but I really liked watching you get yourself off for me

**Chloe:** Oh really?

**Beca:** So much that I wanna watch you do it now. I won’t interrupt this time.

**Chloe:** Ummm I’m at work. How are you gonna watch me??

Chloe gets her answer when Beca Facetimes her. Chloe glances around, the bookstore’s pretty dead in the summer and the basement may as well be a graveyard. She picks up. Beca’s headboard is in the background and her face is kind of red.

Chloe leans up against the wall and slides her hand down her body.

**

They have sex all the time, multiple times a day, all over the house. As long as they have twenty minutes to spare and the doors are locked, fucking each other senseless is in the cards.

Chloe walks in the front door to find Beca looking intently at her laptop with her headphones on. She sits next to her on the living room couch and rubs Beca’s leg.

“Wanna…Hang out?” Chloe asks with suggestion dripping in her voice.

“I could eat.”

“Oh, I meant like…sex.”

Beca grins and says, “So did I.” as she pushes Chloe onto her back and climbs on top of her.

It’s the best summer of Chloe’s life.

**

Chloe has always been partial to a sex playlist. The songs change over the years but the fact that she likes to fuck to music never changes. It’s just about the only time she and Beca listen to music together outside of official Bella business.

Bella business has run over into their sex life it seems though. Beca will play Chloe a particularly good mix and Chloe will be overcome with arousal and crawl into Beca’s lap on the spot. Chloe will show Beca choreography and it seems like Beca can’t even let Chloe get through an entire song before grabbing her and kissing her hard before pulling her down to the bed, the sofa, the floor.

They keep bringing music and dance back to one another trying to one up each other. They don’t need it as an excuse to fuck but it’s like an addictive game of Who’s The Leader that they can’t stop playing. When the girls get back to the house a week early to prep for Barak Fucking Obama’s (as Beca calls him affectionately) birthday performance, the routine and music is _ornate_ to say the least.

Chloe isn’t _positive_ that’s why Amy shows her vagina to the entire planet, but she feels so guilty that she assumes full responsibility anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HATE it when I'm trying to choreograph a dance number or arrange a piece of music but my hot housemate keeps fucking me in the middle of it so it turns into a weird patriotic, sexy mess.
> 
> Tell me what you want  
> What you like  
> It's okay


	14. She's Fine Too

Chloe is spinning out, pacing around her room. She’s completely reeling from meeting with the dean and the National A Cappella Association. She knew it was going to be bad, but the outcome is worse than she expected.

Beca’s always been cocky but gambling the Bella’s existence on the bet that they can win the Worlds is too much. Chloe can already feel the pressure crushing her from the inside out.

“That is _not_ your Sunday Best Beca,” Chloe snaps out nearly under her breath. She can’t say everything she wants to say so she settles for criticizing Beca’s outfit choice.

“It really is. It was either this or our flight attendant uniforms.”

Chloe sighs. Beca’s skirt is too short. It’s infuriating and distracting all at once. Chloe can’t figure out why this isn’t a bigger deal to Beca. From the start of their friendship Beca’s always been blasé, but whenever Chloe would really get worked up about something Beca would set aside her usual aloof nature and be supportive.

Now Beca almost seems amused. It’s not funny.

“Hey, I gotta go, but I’ll check you later ok?”

It’s not ok but what can Chloe do about it? She wordlessly nods as Beca heads out of the room. She’s probably headed to hang out with Jesse for a while before their tiki party.

Thoughts of the Bellas being over for good swirl around Chloe’s head. She can’t deal with the idea of being responsible for the end of the only meaning in her life, so she heads to the kitchen to make a drink. If she’s going to have to spend all night watching Beca and Jesse make out she’s going to need some liquid inoculation.

**

When a doe eyed freshman shows up in the living room, making grand claims about being a legacy Chloe’s buzzed and _knows_ she’s talking out of her ass when she says, “If a legacy wants to audition, we have to let them,” but desperate times and all that. 

This little Bambi could have been the worst singer in the world and Chloe would have let her in just to ensure that the Bellas might recruit a proper class next year, but, as luck would have it, she’s not bad. She looks to be about thirteen, and she’s nine feet tall, but she’s got a pretty good voice.

They discuss as if anyone, _but_ Chloe is the final arbiter, if Emily should be allowed in the group and since it’s a formality it’s a pretty short conversation.

Emily trails after them as they head to the Treble house and Chloe is about to admonish Amy for speaking so suggestively to a five-year-old, but Jesse pops up to ‘welcome’ them. It interrupts her train of thought when he acts like he doesn’t know where Beca is. She was with him all afternoon, right?

Chloe is used to Beca being evasive about the truth, but she can’t figure out why Jesse is lying to her now. She tries to act casual and brush it off, but she can’t help but wonder what Jesse is trying to hide from her. 

Surely, he doesn’t know about Beca checking her out in her sundress or Beca’s hand resting on hers momentarily as she tried to calm Chloe down earlier that afternoon. Surely, if he knew the truth there would be no party, the Treble house would probably be in flames.

Chloe can’t make sense of this new evolution in the game, so she drinks deeply and gets drunker than she means to. She plans on asking Beca later that night where she was but when Beca does appear out of nowhere Chloe, who’s never been good about keeping her hands to herself anyway, pulls her into a big embarrassing hug, and spends all night trying to be close to her. She really can’t help herself. She’s not sure if they’ll have much to celebrate that year.

**

Chloe wakes up the next morning fully dressed to Beca bringing her a cup of water in bed.

“Why are my clothes…damp?”

“You jumped in the pool dude.” Beca looks nervous or concerned. “Are you…ok?”

“Of course, I’m ok!” Chloe tries her best to sound chipper. “Just had a bit too much to drink last night!”

Beca gives her a cautious smile that makes Chloe feel stressed rather than reassured.

**

Rehearsals are going; Not great but they’re going. Beca is recycling music from that summer and Chloe can’t help but find her mind wandering when she should be teaching.

“Beca can you hang out for a minute?” Chloe can’t help herself.

“What’s up?”

Chloe looks around to make sure everyone’s gone before shoving Beca into the wall and kissing her hard. “You _have_ to stop using music from my sex playlist for us to practice to, I swear.”

Beca laughs and kisses Chloe back. It’s refreshing because compared to the summer when it felt like they were married and, on their honeymoon, Beca hasn’t been around much lately.

“It’s just such good music I just can’t help myself.”

Chloe rolls her eyes and kisses Beca again. She’s missed being alone with her.

**

Beca is always missing lately. Chloe had thought that maybe their closeness over the summer would remain, but Beca’s never been more absent. Even when Beca was a freshman Chloe always got to see her at least at practice, but since Chloe can’t ever say no to her, when Beca texts Chloe to beg off rehearsal Chloe lets it go without much commentary.

Chloe thinks that she could use Aubrey’s iron and steadfast stubbornness right about now.

**

Beca does show up at night though, slipping in between Chloe’s sheets sometimes waking Chloe up. Chloe is never disappointed when this happens, but it happens a lot more than it used to.

“Where have you been all week?” Chloe whispers one night when Beca sneaks into her bed and slides her hands over Chloe’s abdomen.

“What do you mean?”

“I know you know what I mean, I haven’t seen you all week.”

“Shh someone will hear us.”

Chloe huffs but complies. She can never pin Beca’s location down these days, but she can at least pin Beca down in bed. Beca isn’t so worried about being quiet when Chloe goes down on her later that evening.

**

Chloe wants to ask Beca why she’s skipping rehearsal, and in general where the hell she’s been hanging out recently, but she can’t bring herself to plunge herself into a agreement with her right now. She’s already anxious enough about the Worlds looming over her and she doesn’t have the emotional energy to start drama with Beca. Besides why bring it up when Chloe already knows Beca is probably just spending more time with Jesse.

Surprisingly, Emily becomes a comforting presence to Chloe. She’s probably just lonely. It’s hard to make friends when you’re a freshman. Still, when Emily follows Chloe around asking her questions about vocal performance it’s sweet.

Emily shows up to the Bella house at random intervals and Chloe does feel responsible for entertaining her and shielding her because really who needs Amy to demonstrate condom use on a sausage more than once?

One evening Emily bounces through the front door with her backpack hoisted high on her shoulders right before Chloe is planning on watching Interview with a Vampire for the hundredth time. Emily doesn’t like horror movies, so Chloe pulls up her favorite funny X Files episode on Netflix and Emily ends up getting pretty invested.

Beca comes in late and sets her keys on the kitchen counter before plopping down on the sofa on Emily’s other side. Chloe feels herself relax as Beca leans back, catching Chloe’s eye behind Emily, who is sitting up alert and at attention, and giving her a big sleepy smile.

**

After one rehearsal that Beca deigned to show up at, she follows Chloe into her bedroom.

“Hey, Emily’s pretty young. Try not to sexualize her too much in the choreography.”

“I don’t sexualize young girls Beca.”

Beca looks a little smug and then says, “Well…not anymore.”

It takes a minute for Chloe to grasp what Beca’s getting at but when she does, she wails, “Becaaaa!”

Beca can’t stop laughing as she grabs Chloe’s hand and pulls her onto the bed. Chloe concedes it’s at least a little funny and her giggles have to be shushed away with kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so weird Chloe and Beca ended up with a child while Beca is dating Jesse.


	15. Everywhere I look, I fall

It’s a quiet Monday night. A lot of the Bellas are gone already. Winter exams are wrapping up and the girls who have finished have gone home. Chloe hasn’t been paying super close attention to who’s already gone but she knows Beca’s still on campus.

Chloe wants to ask Beca something unimportant. She texts her but gets no response. She waits for a few minutes before deciding to go check upstairs on the chance that Beca’s in her room.

It sounds like she is. As Chloe heads up the stairs, she can hear movement. It’s similar to the heavy clunking sounds Beca makes when she plays her keyboard with headphones in and forgets she lives in a house with eight other people.

The door is opened a crack and just before Chloe goes to push it all the way open, she sees something that she instantly _recognizes_ but she still blinks and stares for a split instant because she can’t comprehend that she’s actually having to _see_ Jesse on top of Beca.

He’s mostly clothed but his bare ass is sticking out of the top of his scooched down jeans. Beca’s arms are wrapped around his neck.

Chloe recoils like she’s been bitten.

_What the fuck? What the_ **fuck**?

**

Chloe doesn’t even remember walking back to her room she just realizes that she’s lying in her bed. She can’t get the image of Beca and Jesse having sex out of her head. Inexplicably, she tries covering her ears to block it out even though that makes no sense.

She tries to reason with herself. She’s not stupid. 

She knows this had been going on. Knows Beca and Jesse had been dating for what feels like a thousand years. Knows they have sex. Knows that Beca says ‘I love you’ to Jesse and never to her.

It’s still not something she wanted to see.

She puts her headphones in, but her mind wanders off to dark corners and she forgets to put music on.

**

Even though Chloe had drifted off a little earlier than usual the previous night she somehow manages to ignore her alarms the next morning and sleep in until noon. She doesn’t have much going on anyway, just one easy exam left at the end of the week. She’s lying in bed staring at the ceiling when she’s startled by her door opening.

Beca walks in and shuts the door behind her, which is a sign that she wants to fuck.

“Hey Sleepyhead,” Beca says and unsurprisingly she gets on the bed.

Chloe sits up, warily. She doesn’t know if she should mention the previous night. She doesn’t know _how_ she would even begin to talk about it with Beca. One of the unspoken rules of Beca’s game is they never talk about Jesse.

Beca leans in to kiss her and Chloe pulls her head back, hesitating for just a moment. Beca gives her a look and asks, “What’s with you?”

Chloe feels her body boil over. She grabs Beca and kisses her roughly. She hears Beca exhale in surprise.

Beca moves her hands in between Chloe’s legs but Chloe pushes her hands away and growls, _“No._ ” into Beca’s mouth.

Chloe breaks their kiss to rip Beca’s sweats off and pulls her into her lap shoving her fingers inside Beca without any preamble. Beca lets out a little gasp and Chloe avoids her eyes while she wraps her free arm around Beca’s waist to lift her up slightly and then push her down hard on her fingers.

“This is what you want isn’t it?” Chloe asks roughly.

Beca can’t seem to respond as she rides Chloe’s fingers. Chloe pumps into her harder, using her body to push herself up into Beca faster.

“That’s what I thought,” Chloe says and adds a third finger without warning and Beca finds her voice enough to moan as Chloe moves her fingers to stretch her out. Beca wraps her arms around Chloe’s neck and holds on for dear life.

Chloe continues to fuck Beca, but it doesn’t get completely vicious until Chloe pushes Beca down on the bed and climbs on top of her trying to fuck her senseless. Trying to fuck her so hard she forgets everything outside this room. Trying to fuck her through the mattress into the floor.

Beca’s properly wet now and Chloe’s palm is making an obscene, sticky slapping noise.

“This is what you want,” Chloe repeats and Beca whimpers in response and holds on to Chloe tighter.

Chloe isn’t sure Beca can come under the circumstances but after a while Beca starts to moan Chloe’s name and Chloe feels Beca flutter and then contract hard against her fingers.

She pulls them out and pushes her fingers into Beca’s mouth to clean them off. Then she gets up without a word and leaves the room. She doesn’t know where she’s going but she leaves through the back door.

**

**

**

When she gets back Chloe decides to make dinner. She’s pulling ingredients out of the fridge and busying herself with preheating a skillet on the stove.

Beca walks in and says, “Hey. Can I help?”

“Sure,” Chloe says without lifting her eyes.

Beca grabs a bottle of olive oil and hands it to Chloe. Chloe drizzles some into the pan, sets it down heavily, and looks up.

Beca’s eyes look shifty and cloudy.

“So about earlier in your room- “

Chloe cuts her off.

“We don’t have to talk about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brought to you by Tumbr and [No One's Here to Sleep by Naughty Boy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW6WOBk0cfE).  
>    
> [Here's my Tumblr. Come tell me in detail why Beca's such a little bitch bottom.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cameron-gray-esquire)
> 
> Jesse fucks so lightly it sounds like playing a keyboard lol.


	16. Parental Activity

Because really, there’s nothing to talk about. Beca lives a double life, Chloe barely lives one. Because if you’re living in purgatory, can it really be considered living? 

Chloe’s weeks over the fall have become painfully circular. She and Beca sneak some intimate encounter. Jesse posts something sickeningly sentimental on social media and everybody fawns over the a cappella power couple. They have rehearsal (now Beca optional). Chloe falls asleep alone, but sometimes wakes up to Beca’s body. The weekends are filled with excess drinking.

It’s like walking around with a bite of spicy food perpetually in her mouth. It burns and Chloe can never forget about Beca, so she can never forget about Jesse. The only relief comes when Beca deigns to spend time with her alone, but afterwards the heartburn comes on strong.

**

Stacie pops up in Chloe’s peripheral while she’s in the student union one day, not long after the Christmas break, and sits down at her table after Chloe waves her over.

They catch up for a few minutes before Stacie hurls this exchange at Chloe.

“So, how’s Beca holding up?”

“Holding up from what?”

“Jesse being in LA…didn’t you know?”

“Why’s Jesse in LA?”

“Wow, I thought she would have told you.” Chloe holds back a scoff. They never talk about Jesse. “He’s already graduated, he’s starting a master’s program at USC. Something to do with movies.”

Something mellow spreads out inside Chloe, but she stops herself before asking for more details.

Amy shows up anyway, inflamed about something.

“Stacie! You ignored all the texts I sent you! I flagged them important, you know!”

“You can’t flag texts Amy.”

“On Australian phones, you can.”

**

So, Jesse is gone. But even with her boyfriend three thousand miles away Beca is as sketchy as ever, flitting in and out of the house at odd hours.

That’s fine. Chloe spends more time with the other Bellas. 

“DRINK! DRINK! DRINK DRINK!” Chloe turns the corner into the kitchen on a Friday night to see Amy bullying Emily into shotgunning a beer.

“Amy! She’s not even an adult!” Chloe did not sign up to join the Babysitter’s Club when she joined the Bellas. The rest of the Bellas, however, did not seem to get that memo.

“This tastes so bad but feels so good!” Emily is wasted. The cans littered around the kitchen indicate that this is not her first beer of the night.

Emily stumbles over to Chloe, puts her hands on her shoulders, and stares seriously into her eyes. “You’re so pretty. Have you ever kissed a girl before?”

“Nope. Nope. Come on. I’m walking you back to your dorm.”

“Until next time Legacy!” Amy shouts as Chloe half drags, half carries Emily out the front door.

Emily ends up throwing up in the bushes outside of her dorm and Chloe dutifully holds her hair back and then ushers her up to her room.

“Can you read me something?” Emily slurs after Chloe helps her into bed.

Chloe reads Emily news from People.com on her phone until she falls asleep. She checks her watch and wonders if it’s worth it to head over to the bars for an hour before last call.

**

Chloe can’t help but obsess a little bit over the sour irony that Beca sings a song decrying unfaithfulness and Chloe sings a song about a couple breaking up in the tornado that is this year’s official riff off. 

Chloe misses the other Barden a cappella groups.

The Trebles must have flown Jesse in because, as usual, he’s there usurping Chloe’s spot at Beca’s side for the millionth time. They run off to meet the Green Bay Packers and Chloe decides she’s never liked pro-football anyway.

**

“Every time you flinch, I’m just going to spank you harder.” 

Beca's giving Chloe the rules for that night.

It’s a hard rule to follow because Chloe can’t see what’s going on behind her and Beca keeps smoothly running her hands over Chloe’s back and her ass and the backs of her thighs, soothing her into tranquility before surprising her with a cruel swipe.

“I’m not going to stop until you can control yourself, do you understand?” Beca asks sternly.

“Yes Daddy.” 

Chloe can practically _hear_ Beca raise an eyebrow even if she can’t see it. Who cares, though? Beca doesn’t comment on it. She spanks her again and Chloe twitches on purpose.

**

Chloe does feel filthy about that word, ‘Daddy’. But it’s a _good_ filthy. Because what she and Beca do in the dark is so particularly nasty, why not round out the accompaniment with power dynamics and hell, throw in some incestuous overtones while you’re at it. It can’t get worse. Can it? 

Chloe likes feeling dirty, feeling desired, feeling used up, and even a little bit abused. Somehow it becomes easier to call Beca that word, even as pumped full of innuendo and depravity as it is, than to just say ‘Beca’. ‘Beca’ has a boyfriend. ‘Daddy’ is a nameless, greedy stranger in the night. ‘Daddy’ definitely does not have a boyfriend.

When Chloe gets herself off, face down in her mattress, she can’t stop herself from whispering ‘Daddy’ as she comes, picturing Beca’s hungry face and sharp smile.

**

Chloe knows that she’s freaking out as they get ready for their convention performance. Emily had made them all sing together on the bus trip over and it had struck up fond memories, but those good feelings have passed and the lights in the dressing room of this convention hall are making her feel like she’s choking.

Beca’s trying to calm them down but she sounds so stressed out it’s just making everything worse.

Chloe can’t help but think back to all those rehearsals she spent watching Beca instead of paying attention to the other girls’ progress, lost nights of sleep, and wasting time on schoolwork when she could have been prepping for this.

This litany of known mistakes doesn’t make the third failed performance in a row an easier pill to swallow. What does ‘We’re going on a retreat’ even mean? Chloe’s such a fraud. This entire year except for the summer has been a complete disaster.

“What did you mean by a retreat?” Beca asks when they get back to the house and they’re alone.

“I don’t know I’ll figure something out.”

“You know maybe all these issues we’re having are a sign,” Beca ventures trying to sound cautious. It still hits Chloe like a stampede.

“What are you even talking about?”

“I just mean…” Beca trails off.

“What did you mean?”

Beca sighs and twists her hands.

Chloe isn’t having it. “If you don’t have anything productive to add why don’t you just leave it to me? Did you ever stop to think that we’re in this mess because of you?”

“Me? What the hell did I do?”

“You’ve been skipping rehearsals for months now.”

Chloe has never seen Beca look so guilty. It’s so pitiful that she can’t even be upset with her anymore.

**

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Aubrey comes through and saves the day. Chloe isn’t sure about the whole camping bit but it’s the only way to keep the cost of the trip reasonable for everyone. If anyone can sort this complete mess out it’s Aubrey. Chloe’s always been able to count on Aubrey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloe's such a kinky lil bitch lol. Shout out to the kinky fans.


	17. Sometimes You Have to Break Things Down

The novelty of camping wears off pretty quickly. Still there’s something romantic about sleeping outdoors, even with nine other girls. Chloe couldn’t resist putting her stuff down next to Beca’s but Amy knocks the second tent over and all of a sudden they’re doubling up and Beca’s sleeping bag is out flipped of reach.

Beca’s also grumpy and griping and acting like she doesn’t know why they’re all there. If they were alone Chloe _knows_ she could kiss Beca’s neck and get her to smile but since they’re crowded together with the rest of the Bellas she keeps her affection to herself. 

She watches in horror as her own hand reaches out, almost in slow-motion it seems, to brush Beca’s forehead. She tries to lighten the mood by making a joke about experimenting, but it doesn’t go over well.

**

Morning is damp with a mixture of fog coming off the lake and dew beading up in the grass. Colors are more striking in nature.

Aubrey has them singing a bunch of vocal jazz classics and it honestly sounds pretty good. They’re cutting up and laughing together. It’s a relief to say the least. Even Beca, who Chloe knows is deathly afraid of heights, jumps from the high platform into the lake. 

Chloe loves the lake and requests that they do more ‘exercises’ in it. Aubrey breezes away and then back after a few minutes with a foam walkway that they all succeed in piling up on. When they all collapse into the water Chloe laughs and wraps her arms around Beca as Beca pretends to drown.

So far, the most dramatic thing that’s happened is Amy finding a six-inch-long garden snake and chasing Emily around with it.

That is, until Beca’s outburst.

So, she’s…what, had a job? Why would she ever need to hide that? Chloe’s not even mad about the stupid internship, because seriously who gives a fuck? Chloe is upset, however, that Beca hid it from her. 

“So why would you keep something like that from us?” Chloe is trying to understand.

“Cause you’re _obsessed_.” Is Beca talking about the Bellas or…?

When Beca says, “Yeah cause you’re too scared to leave. Sack up dude!” Chloe just _knows_ they’re not talking about a cappella anymore.

Chloe is definitely not talking about the Bellas when she says, “So you’re just gonna leave now.” and has to punctuate her sentence with a comment about the Worlds when she remembers Aubrey and the rest of the girls watching anxiously.

Beca storms off like the dramatic little bitch she is, and Chloe is in such a state of shock when Beca gets sniped up into the air by a net that she catches herself smirking. That’s _not_ a bear trap but it came in handy.

**

It’s apparent Amy is the only person who notices how close Chloe is to absolutely snapping, when she points out, “you’re barely holding it together.” at the campfire.

Ouch. Almost too close to home.

Chloe stands and makes a joke about becoming a stripper to cut the tension. (Is she joking? She doesn’t have any plans for after graduation besides the Worlds.) At least she and Beca have made up. 

Chloe makes them all clink their marshmallow toasting sticks together and toast to the winning the World’s and then winning adulthood and everyone teases her when all the marshmallows get stuck together and fall into the fire in a deformed, bubbling clump.

While getting up to get a new bag, Beca follows her over to the bear bin and says, “Hey I _am_ sorry about earlier. Can we talk?”

**

They find some privacy on the dock and Beca sits crisscrossed, while Chloe dangles her feet into the water. Beca bounces some ideas off her for Worlds (“Having _all_ the living Bella alums appear on stage? That sounds like emotional exploitation for the judges.” Chloe muses. “Let’s hope so.” Beca is pleased with the plan she’s just laid out for Chloe.)

Chloe is very surprised when Beca says, “So I got a job offer in New York City.”

“Oh really? What about LA?”

“I think I’m more suited to New York. And anyway…well. Jesse is in LA and I think,” Beca takes a deep breath and looks over into Chloe’s eyes.

“I think I’m going to break up with him.”

Chloe scrunches up her brow. “What are you trying to say?”  
  


“What are you doing after graduation?”

“I said earlier. I’m going to start stripping.”

Beca snorts. “No, seriously.”

“Going back to Portland for a bit.”

“And after?”

Chloe shrugs.

“Maybe you should look for work in the City.”

Chloe leans over and nudges Beca with her shoulder. “Maybe I will.”

The night is so happy and warm.

**

Chloe can’t believe she’s never seen Stacie having sex. Not because some of the other girls claim to have walked in on her. 

(Some do. Amy tells everyone who will listen for a week that she, Jessica, and Ashley walked in on Stacie with two of the Treble Makers. Neither Jessica, nor Ashley, care to comment. One day Emily offers to run to Stacie’s room to get her and comes back, mysteriously grey in the face, before walking straight out the front door without saying a word.)

Chloe can’t believe it because now Stacie has walked in on _her_ having sex and Chloe can’t even _fathom_ the depth of the irony.

It was an accident. They should have locked the door. No one ever bothers Chloe though.

So when Stacie throws the door open to catch Chloe naked, on her knees in front of Beca with her legs tucked under her, sitting back on her butt, with her hands politely foldede in her lap (Beca liked the visual of Chloe keeping only her mouth on Beca and would swat her hands down while Chloe gave her oral a lot of the time) all three girls were shocked into silence.

“Well. I…Well. Alright. Alright.” Stacie says plainly before she heads out of the room.

Chloe stares at the door and then whips her head around to look at Beca. Beca is stunned into silence. Somehow over all the years they had both settled into the idea that they’d never get caught.

“I’ll go talk to her.” Chloe says when she finds her voice. She throws some sweats on and runs across the house.

Stacie is sitting in her room at her desk with her arms crossed. Almost like she was waiting for Chloe. Cynthia-Rose is nowhere to be found.

“Please don’t…” Chloe doesn’t know what to say.

Stacie gets what she means anyway. “I won’t but…Chloe you know she’s still with Jesse, right?”

“I know. I know.” Chloe’s gotten good at keeping Beca’s secrets and doesn’t share with Stacie that Beca’s going to break up with him.

“Chloe, I love y’all but…what are you two thinking, honestly?”

Chloe sighs and rubs her forehead.

“I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s been going on for so long it just…I can’t stop it from happening.” She finishes limply. She knows it’s not an excuse.

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long has it been going on?”

“Oh. Oh god. Since initiation night.”

“The whole year?” Stacie sounds _so_ sympathetic. Chloe crumbles and a tear slivers out of the corner of her eye and starts to roll down her cheek before Chloe practically slaps it off her face.

“No. No. Since _your_ initiation night.”

Chloe has never seen Stacie look so unnerved.

“This whole time?”

“Not the…Yeah. Yeah the whole time.”

“Does Jesse know?”

“Never. No. Jesse can never know.”

Stacie nods and stands up and Chloe flinches almost as if she’s afraid Stacie will hit her. Chloe’s just on edge though because Stacie just hugs her and holds her tightly as she says, “I know it’s not ok now, but it will be someday. I was in a similar situation once.”

Chloe’s voice is trembling. “Really? What happened?”

“We just couldn’t work it out.”

“Then what happened?”

Stacie leans back and wipes a tear off Chloe’s chin. “We didn’t talk for three years. We’re friends now, I guess. I know it’s a cliché, but time really does at least start to heal all wounds.”

Chloe just shakes her head as more shameful tears betray her. Stacie shushes her and sits her down on the bed. She grabs her laptop and her phone off the desk and sits down next to Chloe.

“Here, let’s watch something stupid. I’m going to text Beca- “

“No!”

“It’s ok, I’m just going to tell her it’s fine and I don’t give a fuck and I’ll keep my mouth shut. Let’s just hang out in here a while ok?”

**

Stacie keeps her promise and Chloe shakes off the shameful feeling she’s been having after a few days. Or maybe she’s distracted by graduation and their final preparation for Worlds. She does have to call her share of thirty former Bellas and help coordinate their travels. She also has to scan sheet music and send it to them. Along with that she has to choreograph their new set in what feels like twenty minutes.

Maybe all this hecticness is some sort of secret sauce because now that the pressures on, Chloe finds a way to make time to study for, and pass, all her exams.

Her parents fly down and her grandmother sends along a cheque for five hundred dollars as a graduation gift.

All the other Bellas are busy with their own graduation plans so Emily tags along to Chloe’s family dinner. They go to Chloe’s favorite Irish pub in the town over and Emily gushes about the recording studio Beca works in. It’s sort of nice to talk about Beca and it be about such an innocuous topic. Emily is a major fangirl but it’s sweet.

Back at the house, Aubrey shows up looking jazzed up and nervous, probably about their upcoming performance. “I wanted to surprise you! I knew you could do it!” Chloe feels so lucky to have such amazing friends and family.

Aubrey demands on a tour of the entire house before settling down in Chloe’s bed for an old fashioned, honest-to-God sleepover. Chloe’s so glad she washed her sheets when she was getting ready for her parents to visit.

**

Everyone sleeps the entire flight to Denmark. Chloe hasn’t been to a foreign country since childhood and it’s pretty wonderous. Spending all this time with Beca like they’re on vacation together is a secret delight too.

Beca looks so nervous but Chloe feels calm as she says, “This one’s for us!” before the Bellas take the stage.

They steal the hearts of Denmark like gangbusters and all the Bellas, young and old, go out to celebrate together. Chloe is soaking up the company of all these interesting women, and Aubrey, and the rest of the girls, and the local flavor. It’s better than drugs. She can close her eyes and hear the crowd chanting “USA! USA! USA!”

Beca disappears early in the night only to reappear outside Chloe and Aubrey’s hotel room early in the morning. She looks sick.

“Come on let’s go talk.” She says morosely. _Jeeze who fucking died?_

There’s a fountain in front of the hotel that cars can circle to pick people up and drop them off. It’s too late for many cars so they stand by it. It’s kind of loud.

Beca’s voice is positively hoarse as she speaks over the fountain. “Chloe this…this isn’t easy. I’m sorry.”

Chloe shifts her weight from one hip to another. “What are you talking about?”

“Jesse is here.” The words come out slowly, agonizingly.

“What?”

“Jesse’s here and we talked and…we’re going to- “

Chloe knows exactly what’s coming. She just _knows_. She wants to hold up her hand to stop Beca from talking. She wants to spin around and walk down the street and keep walking until she hits the Atlantic. She wants to scream until she can’t hear anymore. Instead she gets very still and waits for Beca to finish the inevitable sentence.

“try long distance. We’re not breaking up.”

Beca can’t even make eye contact with her.

Chloe is fucking done holding it together.

“Look at me. Look at me!” Beca finally snaps her gaze over to meet Chloe’s eyes. Chloe’s hands are shaking as she tries to put everything into words.

She doesn’t know where to start, so for once in her pathetic life she just tells the truth.

“I love you.”

Beca starts to cry. Chloe doesn’t care.

“I’m _in love with you_.”

“I’m _sorry_ Chloe. I’m _so fucking sorry_.”

“No. No, you’re not. Why would you? Why are you even staying with him?”

Beca is sobbing now and she chokes out, “It’s just easier. I don’t know. My dad likes him. Everybody likes him.”

“I’ve never even _met_ your _fucking dad_.”

“I’m sorry please I’m sorry.”

“No.”

“ _Please._ ”

“No. Don’t. Don’t follow me. Don’t call me. Don’t ever look at me again.”

Chloe can hear Beca’s sobs as she walks away but she doesn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst is the new smut.
> 
> Oh by the way. What is the Stacie/Chloe name? ConBeale? Sloe? Anyway the Sloe BroTP is the one you never knew that you really need.


	18. Basic Beca

Beca hadn’t planned on joining an a cappella group, but she hadn’t planned on losing her virginity to a girl either. College was turning out to be…interesting.

Beca isn’t one to gloat, but she can’t help but be a little internally smug after all the horror stories about pain and blood from her high school friends. She’s pretty sure they’re doing it wrong because sex with Chloe is…well it’s so good it feels like it should be illegal. She’s embarrassed as hell though, when it’s her turn to reciprocate and she fumbles around not knowing what she’s doing.

Afterwards she can’t believe the words coming out of her mouth when she _asks Chloe if she’s **done this before**_. Holy shit. Of course, a girl who looks like _that_ has done _this_ before. Luckily Chloe misinterprets what she’s asking and while she admits she’s had sex with a girl before, she insists she’s not gay. 

Fine. Beca’s not gay either. Or at least she’s pretty sure she isn’t. 

At least Chloe and Aubrey aren’t an item. Beca hadn’t really thought they were, but honestly, why else would someone hang out with Aubrey if it weren’t for her looks? Maybe she’s being harsh.

So, Aubrey is Chloe’s _platonic_ Stepford Wife. And Chloe likes to have sex with girls but isn’t gay. Nothing in college is as it seems.

**

Rehearsals are uncomfortable, and not just because everyone there acts like they’re on crack, but also because Chloe catches Beca staring at her all the time. She’s so perfect, so beautiful, it makes Beca’s stomach flip around just thinking about it.

Beca does not like to celebrate her birthday at all but plans her entire eighteenth birthday party with the excuse to get to spend some time outside rehearsal with Chloe (and _not_ Aubrey.)

It is the _best_ birthday she’s had since you were allowed to do goofy stuff like have your birthday at a shitty waterpark because you’re turning ten, but still when she wakes up in the morning Chloe is nowhere to be found. Beca tries not to take offense. Obviously, Chloe plays the field and it’s possible she’s a time traveler from some other decade like the seventies where love is cheap, but words and feelings are too expensive and precious to share with others.

**

The hookup at the football game is a complete accident. Beca drinks way too many sugar free margaritas at the tailgate and Chloe looks so cute in her formal football attire (Seriously what the fuck is up with these southern freaks who dress up for football games like it’s a wedding? Beca borrows a jersey from Jesse and wears it with shorts.) that Beca can’t help squinting at Chloe in the bright sun and follows her into the bathroom.

When Aubrey’s voice intrudes into their make out session, Chloe makes it clear, for the thousandth time, how important it is to keep this…whatever it is, a secret.

To be fair, it seems like for a lot of the Bellas, and the general vibe on campus, is ‘lesbians are gross’. Like, Fat Amy can’t go a single rehearsal without making some comment and even though Beca is _pretty sure_ Cynthia-Rose is actually gay, she and Stacie do these fucked up tableaus where Cynthia-Rose acts like a predatory lesbian and Stacie acts like an assault victim. Fucking hilarious. (It’s _not_ funny.)

**

But when Chloe accepts Beca’s invite to watch the X-Files they’re _practically_ cuddling the entire time. Beca is so glad Chloe wants to hang out, this is basically a date, right?

Again, and again, after they have sex, Beca falls asleep (because honestly, Chloe is _exhausting_ and _insatiable_ but at least Beca’s pretty sure she’s at least getting good at sex) and Chloe sneaks off, or they’ll fuck and then Chloe will rush off acting like it didn’t even happen. 

Chloe is such a complete freak, so engaged in the sex, so loud that it’s embarrassing, then she’s like a ghost. She’ll run off seconds after Beca has an orgasm when all she wants to do is cuddle with Chloe, take a nap, then wake up and make her a grilled cheese.

And when Beca makes an ass of herself because she’s excited for Chloe to watch the X-Files episode ‘3’ because it has vampires in it, but it also has a three-way in it, and she’s worried Chloe will extrapolate that she’s trying to insinuate Chloe likes three-ways. 

Chloe pretends like she doesn’t notice and Beca is grateful.

**

Beca makes a habit of making an ass of herself in front of Chloe but Chloe never seems to care, bless her.

Jesse is similarly enthusiastic, albeit in a different way. He follows Beca around campus offering to do her favors and trying to get her to watch different movies. Beca didn’t really feel strongly about movies to start with but on principal, she keeps acting like she likes them less and less just to tease Jesse. He’s sweet and it’s fun to get a rise out of him. He reminds her of her friends back home, easy and accessible and harmless.

He’s so non-threatening that Beca decides to share her music with him and he’s so supportive of it, compared to Luke, it’s a breath of fresh air. He really is a sweetheart. And Beca doesn’t even like the term sweetheart.

**

It’s like a punch square to the chest, when Beca goes out to get a Gyro to-go in her ratty pajamas and nearly falls over trying to hide her shambled ass when she sees Chloe very obviously on a date with a very cute guy. 

She had almost convinced herself they were becoming an item, despite Chloe’s insistence on burrowing their thing, whatever it is, so far in the back of the closet, Beca can almost feel Narnia’s permanent winter.

Beca is so upset that she actually _cries_ while finally watching The Breakfast Club later that night. It’s hard to watch a movie with a preppy, pretty redhead that _the guy_ gets at the end. The music sticks with her though, and she works Don’t You (Forget About Me) into a beautiful mega mashup and decides she should work on music more when she’s feeling heartbroken.

Maybe she needs a boyfriend too. If her life were a movie she would definitely end up with some handsome guy by her side.

And when she’s still mopey a few days later, it’s Jesse that invites her up to the ‘Woods’ (just this patch of trees on campus where everyone goes to smoke pot) with him and Benji to smoke her first joint. 

He doesn’t press hard or ask her too many times why she’s gloomy, just gets her high, and even though Benji refuses the drugs, all three of them spend hours shooting the shit and laughing. They go back to boys’ room and make as many weird sandwich combinations as they can think of. It’s a lot of fun.

**

Beca’s dad is such a twat. He’s been on her case all year, swiping at her, and negging her. When she gets arrested the first thing that he asks her about when she gets in the car is not if she got beat up in prison, or if she actually did anything wrong, or if she’s ok. No instead he says, “Who is that nice young man that was considerate enough to call me?”

**

To be fair, Jesse is a nice young man. There’s something familiar and approachable about him. He’s so kind to Benji when no one else is. He’s got big, sweet puppy dog eyes. He’s completely unaware of societal constructs like boundaries. He’s funny but not on purpose. He’s genuine and excited about _everything_ and unapologetic about loving the shit he loves. He’d definitely hold hands with Beca in public.

**

When Chloe says, “Not now Beca.” dismissively and abruptly after Beca says, “I’m really freaked out from being arrested, do you think you could hang out for a while? Maybe watch some X-Files?” Beca’s worst fears are basically confirmed but she’s not done fighting for her girl just yet.

Beca’s attempt to impress Chloe by singing Bulletproof during their Semi-final performance _definitely_ backfires. Maybe it was kind of a dick move. Maybe she should have gotten Aubrey’s permission first (ugh Aubrey). Even Fat Amy doesn’t really have her back and it’s such a frustrating cluster fuck that she lashes out at Chloe, the one person she was trying to show off for in the first place. 

She didn’t sign up for _any_ of this. She didn’t sign up to get berated by a bunch of weirdos. She didn’t sign up to get used like a sex toy by Chloe. 

**

Wow. Chloe really went and had major surgery and didn’t even deign to mention it? Point taken; point taken. 

Still, Beca can’t help but get Chloe to sing Bruno Mars’, ‘Just The Way You Are’ to her while she sings the only angsty Nelly song she knows back to her because maybe, just maybe, Chloe will get the hint. _No one_ could miss the hidden message with those two songs paired up. It’s the gayest thing she’s ever done and that includes all the lesbian sex marathons.

It’s all a ruse anyway since now that Aubrey has unclenched her anus, Beca already knows she’s going to use the mashup she’s already made. She still breaks out little clips of it, to make her look at least a little less dorky, and doles them out to Aubrey piece by piece.

**

Chloe is so obnoxious and cute that it’s almost heartbreaking. _Everyone_ she meets is instantly smitten with her. It’s hard for Beca not to be jealous and have her feelings hurt when she flirts with all these strange dudes in New York when they go up there for finals. 

Beca nearly has whiplash when they ride the Staten Island Ferry at midnight to get a (completely blurry and shitty) view of the Statue of Liberty and Chloe sits in her lap on the way over from Manhattan. Beca has never been gladder not to be a guy because she gets _pathetically_ horny with Chloe in her lap. Like if she had a boner it would probably be viewable from space. But on the ride back, Beca is hoping that they keep the seating arrangements and instead Chloe spends the trip chatting with some annoying old man.

**

Beca hadn’t even _realized_ Chloe was a senior about to graduate until Aubrey says something about it being their last show with the Bellas before they go on stage. Beca knows they’re going to win so she spends the performance trying to put two and two together, that Chloe hadn’t even mentioned graduating, that Beca is obviously just some loser she’s been putting up with.

It’s with those thoughts in mind, that she defiantly marches over to Jesse, and kisses him in front of everyone. Because fuck the rules, fuck the police, and fuck Aubrey. Beca didn’t come to college to be used and abandoned. And Jesse would _never_ even think of using or abandoning her.

**

It was a mistake, a huge fucking mistake. Beca obsesses for days about the look on Chloe’s face after she had kissed Jesse. It eats at the fabric of her sanity. It gets to be so bad that she writes a song for Chloe, has a single drink, and thinks it’s a good idea to march over to her apartment to what…? Sing it to her face like a middle schooler? By the time Chloe has opened her door she’s all but lost her nerve.

They have sex anyway. But some little aspect of the magic is missing. Beca waits and waits, treading water in that fucking pool, for Chloe to invite her back to her apartment. It’s basically, probably the last night they’ll ever see each other, and does it even count as sleeping together if they’ve never even slept together? Because honestly, all Beca wants, is for Chloe to spoon her and to wake up tucked neatly in her arms.

Chloe gets a dreamy look on her face instead and tells Beca she’d better go home because _what would Aubrey think_. ‘WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT AUBREY?!’ Beca wants to scream. Instead she nods and gives Chloe a hug goodbye for for-fucking-ever.

She texts Jesse that night that she misses him because she certainly can’t say it to Chloe. That becomes a habit of hers over the summer. Every time she wants to say something to Chloe, she just says it to Jesse and they’re pretty official by the time she gets back to campus. He’s more than happy to spoon her.

**

Imagine Beca’s shock when she sees Chloe standing in the middle of the quad talking to (probably flirting with) some rando guy. _She didn’t even tell me she’d be back_.

But Chloe’s Facebook confirms it. She is back. And even if their fling is done, even if Beca is going to try things out with Jesse, at least they’ll be able to wrangle the Bellas together. Fat Amy acts like she’s cut out for leadership, but she really isn’t.

It still hurts Beca’s feelings and lofty expectations of Chloe when she doesn’t show up to auditions.

**

Chloe can dance. Like Chloe _can dance_. It is such a distraction and it is so hard to watch without drooling. Beca could watch Chloe dance for hours, no days. It makes her feel like a scummy piece of shit because as much as she likes Jesse, she’s _hot_ for Chloe.

Jesse is cute but the sex is…eh. Beca doesn’t have a ton of experience to go on and he certainly tries but…yeah, it’s eh. 

The time they spend watching movies and playing video games and planning picnics is a lot more fun. He’s lighthearted and clever and silly. He’s wormed his way into a very special place in Beca’s heart.

And Beca has nightmares about literally going to hell when she starts fucking Chloe again. Jesse deserves better than this. So does Chloe.

It’s never happening again.

**

Until it does.

Jesse deserves better.

Chloe deserves better.

**

Beca’s dad raves over Jesse. He makes such good grades and he’s got plans for a career that don’t include music festivals and LSD or clubs and Ecstasy.

“Scoring films, now that’s a career path! I love that John Williams!” He says. 

Of course, her dad loves Jesse. Everybody loves Jesse. Being the other half of the a cappella power couple definitely makes going through life easier, and those feelings for Chloe? Well…surely Chloe knows about those feelings by now. It’s been a year. Surely Chloe must know how bad Beca _had_ wanted it to be something more. Surely Chloe would have said something if she had felt the same way.

Does it even count as cheating if it’s a girl?

Is it homophobic to ask that?

Can you be homophobic if you’re gay?

Is Beca even gay?

Beca doesn’t have time for all your fucking questions.

**

Is it bad Beca thinks it’s like…a little bit hot when Chloe dances on Jesse, rubbing her ass on his crotch, and singing a song with obvious bisexual undertones? Because Jesse looks at her nervously, and Beca watches the scene unfold and gets shamelessly wet at the whole thing. She can’t help but fuck Chloe in an alley behind the bar, and then when Chloe ditches her, she goes back to Jesse’s apartment and rides his brains out.

Beca feels like such a freak.

It would be like…triple cheating to try and organize a threesome with Jesse and Chloe right?

Jesus fucking Christ.

**

Chloe’s body is disorienting.

**

It’s hard when you just want to sneak off with your best friend and fuck.

“Harder, harder,” Chloe insists one afternoon in her apartment.

Beca’s phone buzzes in her pocket. She just _knows_ it’s Jesse. She fucks Chloe harder with her fingers and licks them off when she’s done. Chloe loves that kind of kinky shit. Beca loves it too.

Jesse _does not_ love that kind of kinky shit.

He is a fan of it when Beca gets on birth control and they stop using condoms. This is what grownups do right?

But after that…Beca has all these random nights where not only can she not let Chloe touch her (what if she felt it, what if she _could tell_ , _what if it got in her mouth,_ the thought disgusts Beca) she can’t even meet Chloe’s gaze.

After a couple months she feigns bad side effects and makes Jesse start wearing rubbers again.

“Well we definitely don’t want a kid right now.” Jesse chuckles.

The idea of Jesse getting her pregnant turns Beca’s stomach.

**

Beca feels guilty, _so fucking guilty_ , when she’s glad that the Trebles don’t make the ICCA finals that year.

“Fat Amy, we already share a dorm room. Chloe and I need to put the finishing touches on our set anyway,” Beca lies broadly. She just wants to spend one fucking night in the same room as Chloe. Honest, they don’t even have to do anything she just wants to hold her.

Beca sticks close to Chloe, sitting next to her on the flight, following her around the airport, practically sitting in her lap in the taxi, and like, maybe there is a god when she wakes up to the golden morning light shining on Chloe’s naked body.

Sex is great. Morning sex is great. Shower sex is great. But nothing is as wonderful as the simple act of eating breakfast in a private space with Chloe and falling asleep to her even breaths and gentle scent. Beca could get used to this.

Beca works twice as hard not to get used to it.

**

Jesse hands a tin of mints to Beca. “Babe, can you open these for me?”

“Uh no. You’re a grown man.”

“My mom always uses her long nails to open my mints for me! Oh man why are your nails so short? Don’t blush! I’m just teasing! I know my girl isn’t like other girls. Wow you are beat red, come here!”

**

Now Beca and Chloe practically live together. They _do_ live together. And apparently Chloe is into bondage. Of course, she is. Beca gladly cuffs her to the metal frame of her bed and starts to fuck her as ruthlessly as she can until someone knocks on the door.

“Hello! Chloe! You said you’d edit my essay!”

Beca falls off the bed when Flo calls through the door. Chloe pulls her hands down so hard that it breaks the cheap plasticky cuffs and Beca is already on her phone ordering real metal ones from Amazon, hiding under the bed while Chloe throws a robe on and sits with Flo for forty-five minutes. Beca can wait.

**

Chloe’s pussy tastes so fucking good.

**

Beca didn’t _mean_ to fist Chloe.

Is it fisting if it’s just your four fingers slid up to the part of your palm where your thumb joins your hand?

It feels like it.

Beca freezes after she slips her pinky inside Chloe to join her other three fingers and cautiously asks if it hurts. Chloe reassures her it doesn’t and Beca’s brain short circuits at how hot it is, how warm and good it feels, and how Chloe throws her body back at her when Beca coaxes her on.

**

Sometimes, a lot of the time, all the time, Beca just wants to kiss Chloe on the mouth. It’s distracting. They’ll be in the kitchen or somewhere boring and Beca will steal a quick kiss. Beca almost wishes someone would catch them. She’s almost proud of the whole situation. _Not_ the cheating, definitely not that. Just that Chloe would let someone like her kiss her.

**

That’s why it’s so soul crushing when Beca walks in on Chloe fucking Johnson at the Treble/Bella Christmas party. She practically breaks an ankle trying to get out of the bathroom. 

She had sort of assumed Chloe was dating him after Chloe had shown up in the Treble’s kitchen the morning after Halloween, looking exhausted and thoroughly fucked, still wearing her costume from the night before. Of _course,_ she’ll sleep over with a _guy_ with no issue. It takes two years for her to do that with Beca but magically it’s _fine_ to spend all night cuddling with some dick-haver she’s just met.

Beca still has trouble comprehending she actually has to see this guy thrusting into Chloe’s slim, perfect body in person though.

She knows this had been going on. Knows Chloe and Johnson had been dating for what feels like only five minutes. Knows they have sex. Knows that Chloe says ‘I love you’ to Johnson and never to her.

She can’t even be mad about it. She’s been dating Jesse for what feels like a thousand years. They have sex. She’s been saying ‘I love you’ to Jesse since Sophomore year.

She still tries to beg Chloe not to date him. Chloe doesn’t take that well. Why would she? Beca is a total and utter miserable hypocrite and she knows it.

**

Six months is the longest Chloe’s gone without talking to Beca and every day is pure fucking torture. 

Beca spends almost the entire time either avoiding Chloe’s eyes at practice or with Jesse. It’s at this point he starts to talk about living in LA together after school, even hints at how he might propose. With Chloe finally completely out of the picture, well, what’s the harm in playing make-believe? Maybe she will marry Jesse. If her life were a movie she definitely would.

But if her life were a movie, she wouldn’t cry herself to sleep the nights that she spends apart from Jesse, drafting text after text to Chloe, only to delete them all.

It’s such a relief when they make up.

**

Beca finds out from Aubrey of all people that Chloe is hanging back another year. She also finds out about Chloe’s plans to stay in the Bella house and though usually Beca dutifully goes back to Seattle to see her mother, this year she cashes in every favor she has at the radio station to get summer hours and stays in Atlanta to be with Chloe.

It must be so pathetically obvious to Chloe what she’s up to, but this feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity because while Chloe may be content to stay at Barden forever, Beca can’t. She would, with Chloe she would, but her dad would lose his shit and he’s offering to at least make sure she doesn’t end up homeless when she goes to LA the next summer.

It’s the most free, true, splendid summer Beca’s ever had. It’s so blissfully wonderful that, well, it’s kind of hard to care when Fat Amy shows her cooch to the world. Fat Amy’s gonna Fat Amy after all.

The internship is the cherry on top of the sundae.

**

Well Beca _thought_ that the internship was the cherry on top of the sundae, but Chloe loses her mind over Muffgate and Beca decides she’ll have to wait a week or two to tell Chloe about the internship.

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be anyway.

**

Emily is fine. She’s cute.

**

Beca is _really_ starting to worry about Chloe. She gets so wasted at the Treble Tiki Party that she jumps in the pool and doesn’t even remember it the next day. She also doesn’t seem to remember crying in Beca’s arms for an hour before passing out.

Maybe it’ll be best to wait a few more weeks before filling her in on the internship.

**

It makes it awkward though, because the internship is taking up more of her time then she had planned for.

Dax won’t stop hitting on her.

She tells him she has a boyfriend but catches herself before telling him she has a girlfriend too. She’s pretty sure that would just make Dax hit on her more.

Oh, and Chloe is definitely not her girlfriend.

**

It’s tough when Jessie leaves for USC but Chloe starts calling her Daddy and she’s alright with that.

**

Everything sort of comes to a head at the convention performance and before Beca knows it she’s in Sammy’s office begging for a weekend off. He gives her a lot of shit for it reminding her that she still owes him some original music.

She owes it to Chloe to make it up to the Lodge of Fallen Leaves. And Beca _knows_ she’s being a dramatic little bitch when she picks a fight with Aubrey and she doesn’t intend for Chloe to step into the crossfire, but of course Chloe does and all Beca wants more than anything is to stop fighting but she’s so stressed out and tired that the only way she knows to shut it all down is to stomp away like a cranky toddler.

It just hasn’t been an easy day.

Nearly losing her life to a bear trap doesn’t make the day any easier but at least Jessica and Ashley are there to break her fall.

As she’s falling though, her life does flash before her eyes just a little and she realizes how fucked she is and how if she died that day (and this is so over the top and dumb, but that doesn’t make it not the truth) she would wish that she had tried being completely honest one more time with Chloe.

**

It comes out as a vague suggestion that Chloe look for work in New York City. Beca also surprises herself a little bit with the news that she’s breaking up with Jesse. When Beca looks back on that conversation on the dock though, she realizes it’s probably true. It’s definitely true. This thing with Jesse has run its course, right? 

**

Beca stops by her dad’s office for a tough conversation a few days later. She decides to start by dipping a toe in.

“You see gay marriage is going to the Supreme Court this summer?”

“Fine as long as they stay the hell away from me.”

Maybe she’ll come out to her dad some other time.

**

Boy, is it awkward when Aubrey corners her in the house the night before graduation. Ok maybe she doesn’t corner her, maybe it’s more like she pulls her aside gently with quiet, questioning eyes.

“I saw you and Chloe together.”

“What? Where? What are you even talking about?” Beca knows exactly what Aubrey is talking about but she’s trying to buy time to come up with excuses.

“At the Lodge. I saw you two- “ Aubrey looks around and lowers her voice, “ _making out_ _on the dock_.”

Thank god Aubrey didn’t stick around or she would have seen a lot more.

“What about Jesse, Beca? Why are you fooling around with Chloe?”

Beca wants to tell Aubrey she’s in love with Chloe, but Aubrey is Chloe’s best friend and that kind of news should come from Chloe. She wants to tell Aubrey she’s breaking up with Jesse but after everything Beca has done to Jesse it seems wrong to let Aubrey know he’s getting dumped before _he_ even knows.

Beca settles on opening her mouth, closing it, and then giving her head a little shake. Even after all these years Aubrey is still kind of intimidating.

“I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt, not you, not Chloe, not Jesse…He _is_ the only Treble I ever cared about after all.”

Even Aubrey loves Jesse.

“Well, I assume you two were just goofing around? Letting off steam?”

Beca nods, that’ll work for now.

“That’s what I thought.” Aubrey says with a smile in her eyes. “You know Chloe kissed me once. She’s probably kissed everyone in the group by now.”

_What the fuck. **What the fuck.**_

Beca doesn’t even remember the rest of her conversation with Aubrey. She second guesses everything. Should she really break up with Jesse? Over what’s likely a fling? And even if it’s not a fling her dad would probably cut her off if she tried to make things out and official with Chloe. And the idea of Chloe settling for her now just seems laughable.

Chloe deserves better.

Beca stays up all night, unable to sleep. The next day she can’t even smile in her graduation photos.

**

In the end, Jesse makes the decision for her because he travels around the globe just to support her and she’d have to be insane to break things off with someone so kind.

She decides for once and for all, to choose Jesse, with her whole heart, and to break things off with Chloe.

Best to cleanly fracture this so everything can set and heal someday. It _will_ heal, right?

Beca’s not ready though. She’s not ready for when Chloe says, “I love you.”

It cracks something deep inside her and a feeling of dread pours out and infects every part of her body. She feels like she’s going to pass out, falling backwards slowly, she can’t catch her breath or her balance.

It doesn’t matter. It’s too late. If Beca could go back in time and change everything she would.

But her life isn’t a movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry for how I've characterized Chloe throughout this.
> 
> I'm not sorry for how I've characterized Beca throughout this.
> 
> I AM SO SORRY FOR DRAGGING AUBREY INTO PART OF THE PROBLEM.


	19. Where You Want to Be

“I love you too,” Beca gasps through sobs, but it’s too late.

Chloe’s gone.

Beca crumbles.

**

Beca pays through the nose to change her flight to ride back with Jesse. He has no idea what’s going on but he’s still a comfort. Benji is over the moon about Emily. If only it were that easy.

**

But…Chloe _does_ (did?) love her. It’s almost too ridiculous to believe that it could have been this simple all along. Beca decides that once the dust is settled, she’ll break up with Jesse and then talk to Chloe.

**

The conversation with Jesse is tough, Beca can’t bring herself to tell him the truth. She lets him down as easily as she can, blaming the distance between New York and LA as the reason for the breakup.

He cries. She’s all cried out.

**

She waits a few days before she texts Chloe. Chloe’s stuff was out of the Bella house when Beca returned from Denmark or she would have found some way to talk to her in person. She just wants to get her on the phone.

So Beca thinks hard about the three things that made her freak out and push Chloe away in the first place and drafts up an essay to send her.

**Beca:** Listen…I know I fucked up like so bad. Like beyond bad. It turns out my dad is (still) a major homophobe and I need his financial support if I want to follow my dreams for a while. But I don’t mind keeping things on the DL from him for a while and then the second I’ve got enough money saved up he can forreal suck a duck. Also Jesse turning up at Worlds- I wasn’t expecting that, and for a minute I guess I just thought I owed it to him to try and work things out. Also Aubrey…well I don’t know. You need to catch up with her. She kind of told me some things, that I realize now don’t matter but I guess at the time they made me doubt you had feelings for me beyond just being a friend.

**Beca:** Dick. My dad can suck a dick.

**Beca:** Anyway can we please just talk? Just one phone call?

**Read 5/29/2016**

That’s weird Chloe’s never had read receipts on for Beca before…

Beca waits an hour but Chloe doesn’t respond. Seriously she just needs one phone call with Chloe and she’s pretty sure they can work everything out.

She risks another text.

**Beca:** Chloe I’m so sorry for everything. Please just let’s talk, just one call.

**Delivered**

Beca checks the text every now and then over the remainder of the day and then the next morning. The read notification never pops up. Beca gives up on checking after the following evening.

**

So, Chloe’s lost (for now). Beca tries not to obsess over it. She still has a lot going for her. Her one bedroom in Brooklyn is cozy, her new job isn’t bad, and the City is her new best friend.

The cost of living is her worst enemy though, and she calls Fat Amy six weeks into her new life.

“Yeah. No, I’m _totally_ surprised that Tulsa isn’t living up to your standards, Fat Amy. Ok--Please come up here. You can have…two weeks rent free. Yes, it’s the best Chinese food I’ve ever had in my life.”

With Fat Amy around things are way less lonely. They cram a bed into the living room and run a curtain down the middle and though she hasn’t been mugged yet, Beca starts to feel like a real New Yorker.

**

Beca’s in a lake swimming, trying to stay afloat but it’s not easy. She’s exhausted but she keeps treading water. Chloe is on the shore or maybe in a boat or something. Chloe grabs her hands and her voice comes out garbled and echo-y. 

“Just let go.”

Jesse, or is it Tom, stalks around behind Chloe in the background and the ominously glowing sun glitters off the choppy water.

Beca lets go, sinks into the water, and wakes up with a start as an ambulance blares by her bedroom flashing haunting red flares off her shadowy ceiling and walls.

Beca is _trying_ to let go but these things take time.

**

Beca can’t decide if it’d be worse to go to bitter, angry Seattle for Christmas break or gloomy, forlorn Atlanta. She can’t imagine spending time right next to Barden’s ill-fated campus, but Seattle is too close to Portland for comfort.

She only has a few days off for Christmas anyway, so she spends it alone in the City.

She and Fat Amy toast to the New Year with soup dumplings. 

**

Fat Amy is excited about an extra spot she’s secured on Law and Order: SVU and Beca is hopeful this means a less painful rent extraction but a few days later Fat Amy slumps into the apartment disheveled and red in the face and exclaims, “That was _not_ SVU!”

**

Beca had known she wouldn’t be working with any _super_ successful artists for a while but it’s still a thrill to be in the studio collaborating on music. No one is as agreeable as Emily was but that’s alright.

“Is the chorus the same chord progression as the verse?” She asks a young singer/songwriter from the UK.

“Mhmm.”

“What if we changed it up a little bit?”

Beca plays F♯m, E5, then B on the piano.

“So, we’ve got this kind of demure verse, but if we play an A chord- “

Beca plays an A, B, then F♯m.

“The chorus gets more assertive and aggressive.”

“I like that.”

Time flies when she’s in the studio but the rides home on the metro are long. Beca can’t help but muse, as she tries to decide on a podcast to listen to, that if people were chords, Chloe would be a G major but Beca would be an A minor. 

She can’t help that she thinks about Chloe every single day.

**

It's a hot summer day and Beca’s walking out of a Duane Reed when she gets a phone call from Stacie. She picks up on instinct even though she’s avoided Stacie at all costs since Stacie walked in on her getting head from Chloe over a year ago.

“Hello?”

“Hey, have you been talking to Chloe?”

“What?” It’s kind of a shock to the system to hear someone say her name aloud. It makes her chest hurt.

Stacie sighs. “I think something bad’s going on with Chloe. Do you think so?”

“What are you even talking about?”

“Have you not been in touch with her?”

“No.” Why does this conversation hurt so much?

“I guess that makes sense. I gotta go.”

“Wait, Stac- “

But it’s too late. Stacie’s already hung up and Beca is too scared to call her back.

Beca cautiously opens up Facebook, then Instagram, then Twitter. Chloe’s blocked her on everything.

An old woman knocks her phone out of her hands as she jostles by.

Beca picks it up, opens her texts, and scrolls down for a minute until she finds the long-abandoned text thread with Chloe and opens it.

**Read 6/7/2017**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all have that friend who abuses read receipts. Beca deserves it tho.


	20. Any Friend of Ellen's

So, one of the downsides of living with Fat Amy is she has a lot of ‘overflow’ as she calls it. She brings a lot of dudes home and those dudes have friends and they hit on Beca half the time when she’s just trying to make a fucking bagel.

Beca is fine with guys in principal, she still is attracted to them. (She’s pretty sure, she really has trouble thinking about anyone that way these days, work keeps her exhausted and she’s still emotionally not all there from Denmark.)

It’s less that they’re men and more that they’re becoming a never-ending presence in her small apartment but when Beca ends up bringing it up with Fat Amy…

“We need to talk about all these dudes you bring back to the apartment and then unleash on me.”

“Why’s that?” Fat Amy asks.

“There’s just too many! And they _all_ hit on me. Can we get like a schedule going or can you warn me?”

“What does it matter if you’re locked down?”

“What are you talking about?” Beca asks.

“Jesse of course!”

“Fat Amy, I remind you like once a week that Jesse and I are done, and have been, since basically graduation.”

“Oh right. Well, all the more reason for me to set you up with someone!”

Look Beca’s never used the Gay Card before and she just wants Fat Amy to cooperate for _once_.

“Why do you even assume I even like guys?”

“Uh…you dated one for three years. Beca are you trying to _tell me something_!?” Fat Amy is positively _beaming_.

Beca flops dramatically onto the couch in their dissected living room and tries to cover her face but Fat Amy is instantly intruding into her bubble, pulling her arm away.

“BECA WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?” Fat Amy _shouts_ painfully.

“I don’t know, yes ok?”

“YOU’RE A FRIEND OF ELLEN’S?”

“I like girls…and boys I guess.”

But upon hearing ‘I like girls’ Fat Amy is cackling out the door, skipping down the hallway, and disappearing into, presumably, the gay sunset.

Beca doesn’t hear her come home that night but assumes that her roommate is out celebrating being gay by association.

**

Beca rushes out of the studio the next day to get an early lunch. She’s headed for a Thai place she likes when her phone buzzes in her hand and she’s _shocked_ to see Chloe’s sunny smile on her screen.

She blinks but it’s not a mistake. Chloe is calling her.

The wind is knocked out of her, but she fumbles, hurrying to pick up the call.

“Hello…?”

“Oh, so _now_ you’re gay?”

“Uh.” Beca is at a complete loss for words. What game is Chloe starting here?

“I mean technically I think I’m bi.”

“Oh, trust me. Trust me I _know_ how bi you are," Chloe snaps before hanging up.

Beca…almost _laughs_ because even though Chloe is pissed it feels masochistically _good_ that finally Chloe is giving her what she deserves, calling her on her shit. Or maybe it just feels amazing that for the first time in like thirteen months she got to hear Chloe’s voice.

But wait. How does Chloe even know? Or, well, of course she _knows_ but why did she call?

It dawns on Beca that the timing of her big revelation to Fat Amy and Chloe’s call can’t be coincidental and when Beca pulls up Instagram and sees that Fat Amy has posted a picture of them together with the caption ‘HAPPY PRIDE TO MY GAY BEST FRIEND BECA!!!!11!1!’.

Beca rolls her eyes and tries to think of what to say to Fat Amy to get her to chill. There’s no un-ringing this bell but it’d be nice to avoid this situation in the future.

**

That night Beca falls asleep and dreams happy dreams.

She and Chloe are in bed. There’s a warm orange glow emanating from somewhere. They’re intertwining their hands and, on their sides, staring into each other’s eyes. Beca’s heart is so warm and full it’s like she drank a huge glass of chocolate milk.

But the problem with dreams is they don’t last.

**

Beca starts to regret the few words she exchanged with Chloe. Maybe she shouldn’t have spoken to her. Maybe she just wishes she could talk with her more.

Any time her mind has a chance to wander she gets this restless discomfort. She stays as busy as possible, getting into the habit of layering her distractions.

If she’s walking, she’ll listen to music. If she’s cleaning, she’ll listen to a podcast. She browses Reddit on her phone while streaming tv on her laptop. Work is her safe haven but everything else is a risk.

When she lays down to sleep at night it’s a gamble but even when she wakes up from nightmares relief is short lived because isn’t she just waking up into another nightmare?

It’s been a year and a half, and she’s talked to Chloe once. She didn’t sign up for this. But then she reflects on everything she put Chloe through and Jesse too and she figures maybe she did sign up for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's everyone feel about Sassy Chloe?


	21. The Benefits of a Sprain

Exhausted from New York’s punishing winter, Beca risks going to Atlanta for Christmas. Surely Chloe is done with Barden for good by now anyway. Unfortunately, winter follows her around and Atlanta is experiencing an unprecedented cold snap. 

It snows and nobody in the south can drive in those conditions, so she gets stuck at her dad’s. The roads end up being closed and she has to walk if she wants to go anywhere.

Beca needs some odds and ends and all the major grocery stores are shut down, but the trusty old Mom and Pop drug store is still open. Beca walks in and is a little depressed by how grey and dreary it is. In the summer the place is packed with people getting fresh lemonade, handspun ice cream, and hot dogs, but right now Beca can practically hear a leaky faucet drip in the back while fluorescent lights make the whole place look bleak and not only is the store empty but the dark streets outside are deserted as well.

Beca pays for her Advil, batteries, and snags a Lunchables as an impulse buy. 

The bell above the door rings as she steps out into the cool night air and just like that Chloe is standing in front of her, just out of reach. Beca blinks and waits for the hallucination to end but it doesn’t. Chloe looks beautiful in jeans and a green jacket. It really is her.

“Chloe?”

Chloe’s mouth parts and she takes a step forward, moving her arm almost like she’s going to hit Beca, but she stops herself and whips around, leaving Beca to stumble after her.

“Chloe!”

Beca tries to catch up with her but doesn’t see the patch of ice and is about to yell ‘Wait’ when she slips, twists her ankle, and crashes to the ground hitting her head on the pavement.

“Ouch-oh-my-god-fuck-me!” Beca exclaims, sharp pain rushing up her right leg.

Chloe turns her head back.

“Beca? Oh no, did you fall?”

“I’m gonna die!”

Chloe hurries back to where Beca is lying on the ground and kneels next to her.

“Chloe I’ve missed you so much.”

“Shh, did you hit your head?” Chloe asks gently.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you.”

Chloe rolls her eyes a bit but worry lines her face.

“Can you stand up?”

“My ankle’s messed up.”

Chloe grabs Beca’s bag from the pharmacy.

“You’re still eating children’s food I see," Chloe says, a bit of amused exasperation sneaking behind her voice.

“Can we please leave my cracker stacker out of this?”

Chloe laughs and tries to help Beca stand but she can’t put any weight on her right ankle.

“I’m calling an ambulance.”

“Chloe no,” Beca groans.

“Well you need to see a doctor; nobody can drive you to one!”

Chloe calls for an ambulance and Beca’s never felt so ridiculous but at least they can catch up while they wait.

“What are you even doing down here?” Beca asks.

“I came to visit Emily.”

“Oh, right she still goes here…”

Chloe gives Beca a pointed look and says, “Of course she still goes here! Have you not kept up with anyone?”

“I mean I live with Fat Amy.”

“Besides Amy?”

“Not really…I guess I thought you got everyone in the divorce.”

Chloe snorts but then says, “That’s not funny Beca.”

“I know. Chloe I tried to- “ Beca is cut off by the ambulance’s arrival.

As they load her on to a stretcher and into the back of the truck she looks down and says to Chloe in a small voice, “Are you not coming with me?”

Chloe hesitates and then says, “No…I can’t. But tell me when you get home. If you want I can come check on you there.”

“Oh yeah. You can…finally meet my dad.”

Chloe smiles and laughs a quiet, sad little laugh while shaking her head and tucking her hands into her jacket pockets.

**

At the hospital Beca gets X-rays done and a doctor eventually tells her it’s just a third-degree sprain. 

Beca is relieved. “Thank god I thought it was broken.”

“Honestly it’d probably heal quicker if it were broken. It’s easy to keep tweaking these sprains.”

They give her something for the pain and she falls asleep trying not to obsess over seeing Chloe for the first time in over a year.

**

Luckily there’s a break in the weather and Beca’s dad comes to get her the next morning.

“Good thing you’re still on my insurance.”

“Thanks for asking how I am Dad.”

Beca feels ridiculous being wheeled out of the hospital and swinging into her dad’s car on crutches. They stop by the pharmacy to fill Beca’s prescriptions and she makes her dad get here several more Lunchables since she didn’t get to eat the one that she purchased the night before.

She’s already sick of the crutches by the time they get home and she’s so glad she gets to start using a walking boot in a week.

After taking her pain medication she feels fuzzy and she drifts off listening to a true crime podcast. As they often do, her dreams turn into dreams of Chloe. Chloe’s standing in her room mouthing something, but she can’t hear her.

“What?”

Chloe seems so real as she reaches down to yank Beca’s headphones out of her ears.

“I said, wake up Sleepyhead.”

Beca realizes with a start that she’s not dreaming; she’s just groggy and a little high. She tries to wipe the haze out of her eyes and focus on Chloe.

“How’d you get in here?”

“Your dad let me in. He seems _nice,_ ” Chloe says, at least a _little_ sarcastically.

He’s…whatever. Listen Chloe, I’m so glad you’re here. I- “

Chloe holds her hand up cutting Beca off. “Just wait. Just hang on a second, ok?”

Beca stares at her and forgets to breathe.

“I just…It’s really good to see you. It’s been a miserable couple of years. But I just want to say, before we get into anything, it can never be like it was before.” Chloe says, and then nods her head as if to reiterate her point.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, well you know what I mean. The sneaking around, the lying. How is Jesse by the way?”

“Jesse? I don’t know we broke up. Like right after graduation, right after Worlds. I told you that. I texted you.” Beca knows she’s speaking way too fast.

“You never said you broke up with him. In fact, you said you wanted to like…be on the DL.” 

“What? No. No, I meant. I meant- “

“Well it doesn’t matter.” Beca can tell Chloe is trying to speak kindly but in a firm tone. “We’re done with that. Seeing you did make me realize how much I missed you, but just as a friend. Just as a friend ok?”

“Um ok. Whatever you want honestly. I’ve just missed you so badly. You have no idea.” Beca wants to beg for forgiveness but with the little speech Chloe has just given it seems that would be out of place.

“I have a pretty good idea.” Chloe surrenders a little half smile to Beca, and she can’t help but grin back.

“So how have you been?” Beca asks, hoping Chloe will share everything but details about her love life post-Barden.

“I can’t lie…things got pretty dark. Especially last summer.”

“Oh yeah, Stacie called me, all worried about you. What happened?” Beca's not actually entirely sure she wants to know for some readon.

Chloe sighs. “Of course she did. Well don’t worry about it. I’m doing better now. Stacie’s pretty good in a crisis. She’s been through some shit.”

“Really? Like what?” Beca had always thought Stacie was pretty carefree. Maybe she should have spent more time getting to know her.

“Oh, I don’t know. Someone broke her heart, way back when. She’s fine now,” Chloe says with an easy wave of her hand.

“I’m glad she was there for you.” _Even when I wasn’t._ “What happened to you? Last summer?”

“I’d rather not get into it.”

“Fair enough. But you’re better now? I’m so glad you stopped last night.”

“You’re lucky you look so pathetic when you hurt yourself.” Chloe smirks a little. Beca’s just happy they’re sharing the same oxygen.

“How’s your head? How’s your ankle?” Chloe asks.

“It’s all fine. Everything’s fine, just a sprain. I still can’t believe I ran into you.”

Chloe gives her a long look that Beca can’t quite identify and then says, “I know. I never pictured running into you _here_ of all places. I kept thinking I’d for sure see you in New York after I moved there this fall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't ship Staubrey but I do ship myself with Staubrey Shippers.


	22. The Moral of the Story

Beca’s heart stutters as she tries to understand what Chloe has just told her.

“You’re in New York?!” She blurts out.

Chloe smiles. “Yep. Stacie convinced me to give it a try. She got a job training astronauts for NASA at a gym.”

“Jesus really? That’s incredible. What are you doing?” Beca is positively _floored_.

“I’m working at an animal clinic. I’m trying to get into vet school.”

Beca wrinkles her nose. Why is Chloe perpetually in school? But she shakes off the judgmental feeling quickly. It hurts to imagine Chloe having been in New York for six months without knowing about it, but it’s exciting to imagine a future where they can be friends and see each other regularly.

“Well are you happy?”

“Mostly, yeah.” Chloe's answer sounds clear and uncomplicated.

They catch up for another thirty or forty minutes. Beca realizes that she had almost forgotten what Chloe's voice sounds like until they have this long conversation and it’s frightening.

It’s frightening to think that if she hadn’t come to Atlanta for Christmas, if there hadn’t been a blizzard, if she hadn’t decided to go to the pharmacy, if Chloe hadn’t turned up at the exact right moment, if Beca hadn’t slipped on the ice, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. Beca tries not to let her mind wander to what would have happened if she hadn’t let her dad talk her into giving Barden a shot in the first place.

Her life would be less complicated but she’s so much better off for having joined the Bellas, meeting Chloe, even for having met Jesse. If she hadn’t gone through every harrowing step and navigated all those emotional nightmares, she wouldn’t be curled up in bed listening to Chloe’s beautiful voice now.

Beca manages to fill Chloe in on breaking up with Jesse, her job, and life with Fat Amy but then Chloe announces she needs to go check in on Emily.

“Oh yeah, invite Emily to come visit. If you wanna come back that is.”

Chloe nods and shrugs noncommittally.

“Let me walk you to the door,” Beca says.

“Can you even walk?”

“I have crutches!”

“Beca, no. You’ll hurt yourself.” There's sweet concern in Chloe's voice.

“I already did. C’mon, I need to move around anyway.”

As they’re walking out of Beca’s room Chloe reaches over to open the door for her and her sleeve on her right arm is pulled up as she pulls open the door knob. Beca catches a glimpse of three little long bruises on Chloe arm but before she can ask about it Chloe shoos her out the bedroom door.

Beca walks (well hobbles along on her crutches) Chloe through the house and to the door, gives her a big hug, and tries not to think about the fact that Chloe might never come back. Her dad is lounging in the living room and he bids Chloe goodbye as she walks out of the house.

After Chloe leaves Beca turns back to her dad and he says, “She’s a pretty girl.”

“Yeah I used to be in love with her," Beca says out of nowhere. Jesus she's really on one today isn't she? Maybe it's the drugs. She can’t be sure why but something about seeing Chloe makes her want to be more honest about her feelings (or former feelings?) for her. Beca doesn't know how her father is going to react but at this point she doesn’t care. She’s relatively financially independent and she’s extremely sick of hiding who she is.

“What…?” Her dad trails off looking a little bewildered.

“I don’t know. Back in college. There’s a lot you don’t know about me Dad.”

“In college? What about Jesse? How long have you…been like this?”

Her dad sounds cautious and a little embarrassed. Beca’s not sure if he’s embarrassed of his homophobic track record or because Beca is opening up about her personal life.

“I guess I’ve been like this forever. I loved Jesse too. Don’t worry about it,” she says before crutching her way out of the room.

Her dad doesn’t bring it up again and it feels like a weight off her shoulders.

**

Chloe visits again a couple days later, the day before she’s due to fly back to New York. Turns out the animal clinic she works at has a tighter holiday schedule than the studio. She does bring Emily this time and Emily weepily tells Beca all about how she and Benji had broken up and Chloe came to her rescue to keep her company over the holiday.

Chloe is so fucking sweet.

Beca literally never deserved her. Barely deserves her as a friend, but maybe, just maybe she’ll earn her friendship back.

**

Beca gets back to New York and by some miracle from above Chloe stays in touch. She and Stacie live in a two bedroom in Brooklyn that looks a lot pricier than Beca’s one bedroom that she and Fat Amy have converted into a ‘two bedroom’.

Being connected with Chloe (and Stacie, and Aubrey too via long distance, and really all the Bellas because Chloe keeps up with everyone) is nostalgic and wonderful with a slight ache.

As Beca’s ankle heals the world opens up around her and she does everything in her power to be worthy of these people and their presence in her life.

When Aubrey calls her to rant about work, Beca picks up. She also takes Emily’s calls and tries to cheer her up as she heals from her breakup with Benji. She covers Fat Amy’s share of utilities without griping. She wingwomans Stacie when she goes out on the town. And Chloe? Beca’s ready to bend over backwards to do anything to make her happy but all Chloe asks for is to meet up for coffee every few weeks and to spend time with each other along with their roommates.

**

Chloe likes group activities so much that Beca isn’t surprised when she organizes the First Annual Bella Reunion as summer is just staying to break over the city. Really, it’s just the usual gang except Aubrey manages to fly up. Cynthia-Rose, Lilly, Flo, Jessica and Ashley can’t afford to make the trip, and Emily has school.

Beca dutifully helps plan a dinner and a night of karaoke and dancing and finds herself looking forward to it.

When Aubrey arrives Beca ensures she has no trouble taking a bus from the airport to the subway and then taking the train down to Brooklyn and meets her at Stacie and Chloe’s apartment where she’s staying. 

Since Stacie and Chloe are still at work Beca uses her spare key to let Aubrey in and catches up with her. Fat Amy shows up not much later with a suspicious amount of glitter in her hair. Stacie and Chloe arrive together and after everyone has a drink, they head out to a Sushi place not far from the bridge.

After dinner they take a train into Manhattan to the fanciest club they can afford (which isn’t very fancy, but everyone wants to play good hostess to Aubrey) and Fat Amy buys the group a round of shots. Chloe makes them toast to the Bellas and friendship that never dies and Beca is happy to clink her plastic shot glass to that.

Chloe, Stacie, and Fat Amy take over the dance floor and Beca sits back with Aubrey amused at her luck and how much it feels like college.

It’s not always _easy_ to be around Chloe, knowing the amount of pain they’d both been through together, but the alternative is so much worse.

Beca gets engrossed in shouting a conversation over the music with Aubrey about Emily and the younger Bellas and how the ‘retreat’ at the Lodge of Fallen Leaves has become an annual tradition. Beca has a laugh suggesting different ways for Aubrey to torture the youngsters.

Before Beca knows it, it’s way too late. Aubrey offers to wrangle Fat Amy away from a couple guys at the bar and find Chloe if Beca agrees to wrestle Stacie away from whatever white rapper or junior stockbroker she’s found to flirt with.

Beca searches the dance floor, the mini bar next to the DJ booth, and then heads towards the lady’s room to see if she’s there.

Beca cracks the door cautiously just in case Stacie’s decided to take a guy in there for a quickie and is absolutely stunned by what she sees.

Chloe is sitting on the counter between two sinks, washed out by ugly fluorescent, her legs spread apart by Stacie’s hips. Her lips are parted, and her cheeks are red as she pants, her head turned to the side and pressed back against the mirror.

Her dress is bunched up around her waist and Stacie’s hand is disappearing up into it.

Beca's world stops spinning and tips off its axis.

Stacie is eagerly kissing and biting at Chloe’s neck and Chloe’s bracing herself with one hand on the mirror behind her. Stacie is pushing in and out of her furiously with one hand while the other hand is pinning Chloe’s arm down to the counter so hard it looks like it’s cutting off the circulation. Beca vaguely remembers seeing bruises on Chloe’s arm and connects a few very unpleasant dots.

Beca only stares for a beat, but in that instant, she sees _so much_ that she can’t _ever_ un-see.

She knows what’s about to happen too. Beca knows from the flush on Chloe’s cheeks, the way she’s biting her lip, how she’s slamming her eyes shut and pushing back desperately against Stacie’s palm, the little weak moans that are passing between her raw red lips, _exactly_ what’s about to happen.

The memory of Chloe losing control and spasming around her own fingers is seared into her mind and she’s seen Chloe fall over the edge so many times. She doesn’t stick around to see it again but as she creeps back from the door, she hears a much louder moan from Chloe and the light sound of Stacie’s voice coaxing her on trickling out from the bathroom.

Beca walks slowly back to where she was sitting with Aubrey on wobbly legs. She’s too shocked to be upset. She stares and nods without emotion at whatever Aubrey’s saying, praying for the night to end fast so she can go home and go to sleep forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Love Chacie? Come tell me on Tumblr. Hate Chacie? Come tell me on Tumblr. Think I'm a prep? Definitely come tell me on Tumblr.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/cameron-gray-esquire)
> 
> As if I was just going to let Beca feel better.


	23. Rocket City

Beca’s too numb to say much, just that she doesn’t feel well and she’s going to get a taxi home (so Aubrey won’t worry about her safety alone at three in the morning).

She doesn’t. Instead she walks for blocks aimlessly even though sweat beads up on her forehead, clumping up her foundation because it’s insufferably hot outside. 

Eventually she gets an Uber because even though she doesn’t give a shit about her safety at the moment, there’s no way in hell she’s going to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge, where everyone and their brother has clipped a padlock with a sentimental message scrawled on it to the scaffolding to symbolize the undying love in their relationships.

_Love._ She thinks curled in the backseat of her friendly Uber driver’s car with her cheek pressed up against the cool glass of the window. _Is this what it’s been about the entire time. Am I still in love with her? Does it even matter if I am?_

Chloe’s clearly moved on. That’s what hurts so much about seeing her with Stacie. The fact that Chloe has moved on and Beca can’t even be angry about it. If Beca’s being honest with herself feeling self-righteous and angry about a situation always makes it easier to bear.

But Beca’s not angry. She’s dejected and lost and hurt but the last thing she is, is angry. Chloe has every right to fall in love with anyone else in the world, to have sex in public, to fuck Stacie. Honestly Chloe has every right to fuck all of the other Bellas in a giant aca-orgy if that’s what floats her boat.

Beca had her time with Chloe; she fucked it up royally. It’s over now. The only thing left to do is move forward. She doesn’t have to be happy about what she saw but she can’t obsess over it either.

**

Of course, all Beca can do is obsess over it.

Over the next few weeks Beca does all sorts of social gymnastics to avoid seeing Stacie or Chloe. Stacie brushes it off but Chloe seems genuinely upset when Beca makes excuses not to hang out.

Beca’s self-loathing intensifies every time she blows Chloe off. She feels like a rootless tree, swallowing apologies she’s too cowardly to speak.

**

While she’s ignoring the Bellas, Beca gets roped into attending after work drinks on a Thursday.

She doesn’t love this kind of stuff but it’s better than spending another night lying in bed dreading texts from Chloe.

She drinks more than her fair share and she’s actually starting to let loose. She even gets talked into singing some Karaoke. 

Beca’s halfway through the second verse of Kiss From A Rose by Seal when she hears a disconcerting falsetto screech, “BECA!?”

She stops singing and sees Jesse’s big brown eyes framed by crinkles as he grins at her. She jumps off the little makeshift stage, leaving the mic on the floor behind her carelessly, and runs towards Jesse. She grabs him by the jacket and pulls him in for a big hug. She’s never missed people from Barden so much as she does in this moment.

“Jesse! What are you doing here?”

“Work stuff. What are you doing here? Besides living here, I guess.”

“Work stuff for me too.”

Beca introduces Jesse to her coworkers and buys him a beer.

It’s so bizarrely good to catch up with him, like she didn’t even know she’d been missing his lame ass this entire time. 

After a couple of shots, they’re up on the karaoke stage bringing the house down by singing Friend Like Me from Aladdin together. The other patrons are so impressed a sweet old couple buys them each a Long Island Iced Tea.

Beca and Jesse both end up blitzed off their asses and that’s probably why they end up slow dancing around the bar even after Beca’s coworkers have left.

There’s something so familiar, so comforting about Jesse. That’s probably why she drags him out of the bar and back to her apartment for a ‘nightcap’. In typical fashion Fat Amy is missing.

Beca’s so lonely and depressed that she doesn’t think about anything but Jesse’s consoling touch as she starts to kiss him and walks backwards towards her room, kicking the door behind her open and dragging him onto the bed.

Jesse smells soft like soap.

It’s all wrong.

Just as fast as it started it all comes to a halt when Beca comes up gasping for air.

“Wait wait wait. Jesse stop. Stop.”

Jesse looks concerned. “What? What is it Bec?”

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this to you again.”

Vague realization slithers over his face.

“What do you mean again?”

It’s a hard conversation. Beca makes them grilled cheeses and sits grimly across from Jesse at the tiny table in their kitchenette, like a doctor telling a family the cancer is stage four, or the stroke was fatal, or that the surgery was unsuccessful.

Beca cries a lot spilling her guts to Jesse, confessing all her sins. She won’t go into extreme detail. He asks about the Whens and Hows but she can’t. She doesn’t want him to obsess over every little moment in their relationship.

Beca can’t tell him about the Who either. Because it’s half hers but half Chloe’s and she hasn’t even spoken to Chloe in a few weeks and she doesn’t want Jesse to be mad at Chloe. Beca wants to carry the whole burden of Jesse’s anger.

But he’s not that upset. He’s pissed off but he doesn’t even cry (Beca does).

Beca wants him to punch a wall, to scream, maybe to punch her. But he won’t (of course he won’t). He just crosses his arms and stares at her for a long time.

“I guess we all did fucked up things in college,” He says pointedly, emphasizing the ‘fucked’.

“Not as bad as me but…I guess so,” Beca sniffs.

She begs his forgiveness and he hesitates, says maybe someday, but asks for space. He says he’ll text or call some time.

Coming clean hurts but in the end Beca’s glad she chose to be honest with him instead of just fucking her feelings away. It dawns on Beca that if she’s willing to use people in such a damaging way due to what she saw happening with Chloe and Stacie (or any of her other emotional baggage) maybe she needs to get some help. She resolves to get over Stacie and Chloe. 

She doesn’t know how she will, but she just will.

**

Beca finds out how, when a few days later Stacie bangs on the door and barges in past Fat Amy opening the door.

“Ames, if I give you a hundo can you make yourself scarce?” Stacie asks. Beca watches her with trepidation and anxiety as her manicured nails reach into her patent leather billfold. The room is all of a sudden too bright.

Amy skedaddles with a yelp of thanks and a quick salute and Stacie turns to Beca. It feels like the ground as shifting as Stacie raises an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t want to pussyfoot around let’s just get into this,” Stacie says crisply.

“Pussyfoot?”

“You have to stop avoiding Chloe, she’s slightly losing her mind over it.”

Beca grasps for a reason, an excuse. “Well- “

Stacie sighs and rolls her eyes a bit before her expression softens just a touch.

“I know you saw us a few weeks ago. In the bar. In the bathroom,” She says exaggerating the last ‘in’.

“What! How?!” Beca is certain her face is maroon.

“Saw you in the mirror.” Stacie shrugs. “I didn’t want to freak Chloe out, so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want _you_ to freak out and go after her either, but this is getting ridiculous.”

“Well what do you want me to say she-… you-…” Beca can’t put the volcano of emotions she’s feeling accurately into words.

“I mean honestly Beca I don’t know why both of you have to be such dramatic little queens all the time. It’s _just_ sex. You two could have just had _one fucking_ conversation in college and avoided so much hurt.”

Beca’s throat starts to get tight and she nods.

“There’s nothing going on with me and Chloe. We just fool around every once in a blue moon. And it’s not serious. _And_ we actually communicate about it.” Stacie pauses and looks down for a second before saying, “I _am_ sorry you found out the way you did though. Or that you found out at all. It’s honestly not even that much of a thing.”

“I’m sorry for…for so much. For everything I guess. God I’m so fucked up.” Beca feels like crying.

“Well try and get it together. Chloe’s gonna need you guys.”

“How come?” Beca asks.

“I’m getting transferred for at least a year.”

“For work?”

“Yeah.”

“Where are you going?”

“Alabama.”

“ _Alabama?_ Since when are there astronauts in _Alabama?_ ” Beca’s a little bit horrified to imagine a bunch of hillbillies trying to make sense of her sophisticated friend.

“Marshall Space Flight Center was established in Huntsville, Alabama in 1960 actually.”

Stacie makes Beca feel stupid sometimes.

“Does Chloe know?”

“Yeah of course I told her and she’s _acting_ fine but…I don’t want her to be alone up here.”

Beca remembers the text Stacie sent after she walked in on them fucking in the Bella house two years ago. ‘I don’t know what’s going on and honestly I don’t give a fuck, but Chloe’s sobbing in my room right now so whatever you’re doing get your shit together. I’m not going to say anything to anyone by the way. Just give me some time with her, I want her to feel better.’

Stacie’s always been defensive of Chloe. Maybe Beca should have taken her advice and gotten her shit together years ago. Maybe she should try to get it together now.

“Of course, Stacie. Of course, I won’t let her be alone,” Beca promises earnestly.

“Ok good. She needs a friend right now.”

“I’ll be there for her. I’ll get over myself.”

Stacie nods. “I shouldn’t say anything but…”

Beca waits.

“Well she acts…she _says_ she’s over you.”

“Um- “

“Just let me finish. She says she’s over you but the way she acts…well it’s hard to describe but if I had to put money on it…she acts likes she _thinks_ she’s acting as if she’s over you but I’m not entirely buying it.” Stacie says the last bit in a rush.

“I’m not entirely sure what to do with that information,” Beca admits.

“I just want you to know your actions have consequences Beca. Don’t fuck this up again.”

Well that’s something Beca can agree with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commenters: Beca's awful in this I want Chloe to get w someone else.
> 
> Me: lol k Chloe's w Stacie now.
> 
> Commenters: NO NOT LIKE THAT
> 
> Me: lol Jeca-
> 
> Commenters: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE
> 
> (lol jk i love every single commenter)


	24. Out In the Open

Beca keeps her promise to Stacie and asks Chloe to coffee right after she leaves Beca’s apartment. 

It takes a couple weeks for them to find the time, but in-between Beca’s invitation and the day they actually manage to meet up, normal communication starts up between them again. Chloe sends Beca funny pictures and Beca runs loops of chords and melodies by Chloe for her approval.

Instead of sitting in their usual spot at their favorite café, Beca suggests they go outside to the park. It’s a beautiful, clear summer day after all. It’ll be nice to be out in the open.

As Beca drinks a crisp, cold energy drink, and Chloe enjoys some kind of sweet iced coffee concoction they search out a big sun-toasted rock to sit on and look out over some young girls playing football with each other.

Beca gazes at Chloe while Chloe smiles at the kids. The sun is highlighting a few freckles on her face and Beca’s heart skips a beat. Maybe she shouldn't have gotten that caffeinated drink.

“Hey Chlo?” Beca says, drawing Chloe’s attention to her. “There’s some things…I think we should talk.”

Chloe’s face flashes with concern and Beca hastily says, “Not for any bad reason or anything. I’ve just had a hectic couple of weeks.”

Beca’s had weeks to plan for this conversation and all of a sudden, she’s lost for words.

It doesn’t help that Chloe looks so beautiful. The sun is making her wavy hair look like a fiery halo around her face.

“I…I told Jesse,” Beca spits out the last part of the sentence in a rush. Chloe looks alarmed.

“Since when do you talk to Jesse?” Chloe asks.

“I don’t, not really. I ran into him here. He was here for work or something. I got drunk and, well _we_ got drunk and I don’t know. I ended up telling him everything.”

“Was he- “

“I didn’t tell him I cheated with you though,” Beca clarifies. “That seemed like something you should tell him if you wanted or…” Beca knows she’s talking too quickly, but she hadn’t realized how much she was dreading this conversation.

Chloe looks at her thoughtfully before saying, “Cheating?”

“I- _yeah cheating_ Chloe, what do you think we, or I was doing?”

“I was falling in love,” Chloe says in a soft, light voice. Beca has a flashback to the first time she and Chloe met at the Activities Fair her freshman year and Chloe had said, ‘Help us turn our dreams into a reality.’ Chloe’s voice hasn’t changed, and it feels like Beca’s been punched in the nose.

“Chloe I’m so- “ she starts shakily but Chloe grabs her hand and squeezes it.

Chloe’s voice is a _little_ bit brighter and her eyes look clear when she says, “Just because things used to be bad doesn’t mean they’re bad now. Now, tell me about Jesse."

Beca shrugs and can’t make eye contact. “Look we got- this embarrassing, we got wasted and we almost hooked up.” Chloe interrupts her with a snort and when Beca looks up to see Chloe shaking her head, smiling with her eyes cast down a little bit, almost as if to say, ‘well we’re never going to grow up are we?’

“And,” Beca continues a bit louder, “and we only kissed, but it had this dark familiar feeling and I don’t know. He smelled like college and deceit. I had to tell him.”

“Was he pissed?”

“He wasn’t like, _happy_ about it but he seemed like someday he might come to terms with it. He seemed understanding, as much as he could be.”

“Do you think I should talk to him?” Chloe asks.

“Do you _want_ to talk to him?”

“I don’t know but, well, as long as we’re coming clean about things, there’s something I should tell you.” Anxiety has once again spread over Chloe’s face.

“So, Stacie and I, we- “

“I know, I know,” Beca hurries out. “Don’t worry I know.”

Chloe looks scandalized and her eyes run quickly over Beca’s face. Beca thinks she can feel a blush sneaking up her neck.

“How…well how on earth would you know?”

Beca looks anywhere but Chloe’s face and says, “I saw you, at the reunion, in the bar…in the bathroom,” she finishes as if Chloe might not know what she’s talking about even though there’s no way to misconstrue what she’s saying.

Chloe turns pink and starts fidgeting. “Oh God Beca, oh _God_. I didn’t mean for that. Oh God you must hate me.” Realization creeps across her face. “Oh _that’s_ why you weren’t talking to me. You must think I’m such a- “ Chloe gestures in the space around her trying to find the right word.

“I don’t. I don’t,” Beca assures. “I mean it’s not something I wanted to see but it’s also not my business.”

“That’s true. It’s not a big deal though,” Chloe says earnestly and then pauses before saying, “not that I owe you an explanation.”

Beca nods. “You don’t. You don’t, I know.”

“But,” Chloe continues matter-of-factly, “I may as well tell you, it’s not serious. Stacie rescued me from Portland and- “

“Ok what happened in Portland?” Beca blurts out.

Chloe takes a long breath and says, “I guess in the spirit of honesty you may as well know. After I graduated, after _Worlds,”_ she gives Beca a pointed look, “after all of that I had trouble putting my life back together for a bit.”

Chloe takes a steadying breath before continuing in a slightly more hurried voice.

“I was trying to get into teaching, and it was hard to make much money with it. I had an English degree and a music minor- “ Beca remembers helping Chloe memorize the Circle of Fifths fondly. “-that took seven years to get and Portland is _expensive_.”

“Ok…” Beca nods. She knows all of this already.

“Anyway, my parents wanted me to get my own place and I could only get jobs substitute teaching here and there,” Chloe says, talking with her hands a lot.

“I was already so sick of disappointing them and I decided to…well I had taken a pole dancing class just to work out and I was pretty good at it…”

Beca is torn between being horrified and impressed. “Chloe. You didn’t.”

“Look stripping wasn’t _that_ bad it just wasn’t great either. I didn’t go to any VIP rooms or anything.”

“Chloe! Oh no this is my fault isn’t it, this is- “

“Not everything is about you Beca,” Chloe says, though there’s no malice in her tone.

The sun is now beating down on Beca uncomfortably. She takes a moment to let that sink in. “No. No, I know.”

Chloe nods slowly. “Anyway, it was kinda fun to start with, but I got in over my head and swept up in it after a while. Stacie figured out what was going on by some cryptic Facebook posts I made and literally flew out there to talk me out of everything. I guess in a way I was pretty messed up because after everything that went down, I didn’t want anyone to touch me. Except after a while I ended up trusting Stacie.”

Chloe flashes Beca a guilty grin and Beca feels like dying.

“Yeah dude, no I…I get it. I _guess_.”

“It was completely casual though. Just someone to connect with.”

Beca knows that, more than anything, Chloe likes to feel connected to other people. It’s how she has the easiest time expressing herself. She still isn’t sure she wants to hear more about this _connection_ between her and Stacie.

“Well, thank God for Stacie I guess," Beca says absentmindedly.

“Yeah.” Chloe’s voice sounds perky and she gives Beca a mischievous smile. “I _did_ end up with one of the nicest apartments in Portland though.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to think Beca might be a bottom.


	25. Bad Idea

Beca swallows and tries not to think about Chloe stripping, or Chloe being unhappy about stripping, or Stacie being the one who came to her rescue. To be honest she doesn’t have a lot of safe things to think about. She attempts to change the subject anyway.

“So…Stacie,” _Damnit_ , “she’s…leaving huh?” _Ok that’s a normal thing to talk about._

“Oh my God, _yes_. I can’t believe it. I don’t know how she’s going to survive Alabama. Or how Alabama’s going to survive her really,” Chloe says with wide eyes.

“I know it’s crazy right?”

“Totes crazy.”

“When does she leave?” Beca asks.

“End of the summer. We’re already planning a _huge_ going away party. Sparing no expense,” Chloe says waving her hands around energetically.

“Great,” Beca says dragging out the ‘aye’ sound in the word.

“Yeah.” Chloe nods sweetly. “It _is_ gonna be great. Omigosh you have to come.”

“Oh yeah, I mean I don’t know, you know?”

“Beca it’s fine. Stacie’s your friend, I’m your friend, really. Remember everything that happens between me and her is not serious at all I promise.”

_Happens? Not happened?_

“No, I know. I mean I’m, y’know I’m cool with everything,” Beca says, very uncoolly.

“You _must_ come. It’s going to be the event of the summer!” Chloe looks so excited.

“Yeah, totes,” Beca says trying to muster up some enthusiasm but falling flat.

“Beca…” Chloe whines.

“I’ll think about it. I mean I’ll try to come,” Beca says, not meaning it at all.

“You better.”

They chat for a while longer but not about anything important. When Beca gets back to her apartment she flops down in bed. She covers her face with her hands but that doesn’t block out intrusive memories of shadowy rooms, panting breaths, and Chloe’s face stretched out in pleasure. Except now in Beca’s place it’s Stacie.

Stacie creeping down Chloe’s body, in between her legs. Stacie kissing Chloe fiercely. Stacie pulling Chloe’s hair, arching underneath her, eliciting coos and cries of pleasure out of her.

Stacie waking up in their neat apartment to sunshine and the smell of Chloe’s homemade waffles.

Beca isn’t one for theatrics, or she tries not to be, but that doesn’t stop her from yelling frustratedly into her pillow. She gets up to grab her bowl and some weed but she’s distracted by her phone buzzing.

**Stacie:** Hey loser you’d better come to my party

**Beca:** I forget how fast word travels w Chloe

**Stacie:** You had better come

**Beca:** Stace…come on. Look everything is cool but like still.

**Stacie:** Mhmm. I have a good idea.

**Beca:** What?

**Stacie:** Bring a date.

_Hmm_.

Beca considers it. She realizes with a start that she hasn’t dated anyone since Jesse. It’s an even creepier sensation to realize she’s only ever had sex with Chloe and Jesse.

Because sure she had fooled around with her high school boyfriend, and yes she had had so much sex in college with Jesse and Chloe, it sort of felt like more than her fair share, particularly given the way in which she feels like she ended up manipulating her way into all that sex and connection.

Maybe that’s why she’s kept to herself, why she hasn’t so much as had a crush on anyone since graduating. Maybe she doesn’t deserve companionship; maybe she’s already used up all the love the world has to lend her and since then she’s been avoiding it. Maybe she deserves to be alone.

**

As the days pass Beca tries to be more open to possibility. She does get lonely after all. Sometimes. She spends a lot of time trying to organize her feelings about Chloe, Stacie…about Chloe _and_ Stacie. About the idea of taking a date to Stacie’s party. About trying to socialize with anyone but Fat Amy or Chloe. The Facebook invite to the party sits heavily in her inbox and she feels a pang of dread every time she sees it.

Fat Amy asks her if she’s going and Beca lies, “I don’t know man. Probably. I mean why wouldn’t I?”

“I just hope Stacie and Chloe don’t have sex in front of everyone,” Fat Amy says, sounding bored.

“… ** _What?”_**

“Oh yeah you didn’t know they knock boots whenever one of them wants attention?”

Beca just stares at Fat Amy with her mouth hanging open.

“Guess you didn’t. Oh well it’s not like it’s a secret.”

Beca opens and closes her suddenly very dry mouth and tries to form words. After a few moments she manages to say, “You. How did you…?”

“Oh, I know everything, Shorty.”

“You know _everything_?” Beca is swimming in paranoia and shame.

“Sure.”

“What all do you know?”

“What do you want to know? About all those pregnancy scares Emily had last year?”

“Ok, ew not like- “

“About Cynthia-Rose’s vindictive ex-wife?”

“Not what I- wait _wife?_ “

“About the fact that Ashley and Jessica are actually cousins?”

“Ew I thought they were dating.”

“Jury’s still out on that one,” Fat Amy says with a wink and Beca hopes to God she’s joking. It’s hard to tell with her sometimes. But it seems like she doesn’t know about Chloe and all the unforgiveable sins Beca inflicted upon her.

“Anyway, I can’t wait for the party. Chloe’s never put so much effort into an event before!” Fat Amy shouts.

Beca feels more paranoia and shame trickle down her spine.

Maybe she should go. Maybe she should try to find a date. Chloe’s moved on. Maybe she should too. Even if she can’t move on, maybe she should try.

**

As the days pass Beca tries to put herself out there. There’s this cute waiter at her favorite soup dumpling place. She leaves her number on a receipt for him and he texts her to say he wasn’t sure who she wanted to have her number, but he and his boyfriend would be happy to pass it along to them if she would tell him.

She also tries to act like a Normal Human to Chloe though sometimes she can’t help but let her insecurities show. Beca is trying to be more honest about her feelings these days. She texts Chloe one night to ask about something she had said a hundred times about Stacie.

**Beca** : You know how you kept telling me what you and Stacie had wasn’t serious?

**Chloe** : It’s not serious Becs I promise, never was

**Beca** : Is it like what we had?

**Chloe** : No.

Beca can’t bring herself to ask exactly what that means but her thoughts spiral out of control. Because of course what she and Chloe had had was serious. Serious like a curse, serious like a disease. It may be over and irradiated but it _was_ serious.

**

Beca meets a pop star on the verge of blowing up at work. Ally is being produced by one of her collogues. She has red hair that looks nothing like Chloe’s. It’s very obviously dyed and darker. It hangs long and straight from the apex of a high ponytail. 

Beca gets dragged into the studio to sing some sample vocals for this chick’s EP and she can’t help but be a bit taken by the young artist’s bluntness and confidence.

It’s like if Fat Amy were hot and had a less grating personality. And if she could actually sing.

She gathers all her nerves in a bundle since Stacie’s party is that weekend and she’s running out of time. Ally seems more than happy to accompany her.

Beca meets her at a bar for a drink down the street and can’t help but stare at Ally, who’s slinky grey dress is complimented by a sparkling diamond necklace and very high heels. Her signature high ponytail looks as tight as ever. Beca fiddles with the old Barden class ring that always adorns her finger and gingerly sits next to the attractive girl at the bar.

_She’s too hot for me_. She thinks with an internal groan.

Ally acts thrilled to entertain her with stories of growing up in the child star circuit and to exclaim to her again and again, just how happy she is that she’s leaving the world of acting behind and making her musical debut.

Beca enjoys the company as she drinks her beer and Ally throws back a few neon looking shots with names like ‘Gummy Bear’ and ‘Angel Shark’.

Ally grabs her hand and laces their fingers together after Beca pays for their drinks and they head to Stacie and Chloe’s.

Someone buzzes them in, and they make their way up to the third floor. Beca’s hand starts to sweat so she lets go of Ally’s and wipes it on her pants. She’s worn her nicest jeans and suede shoes, but Ally makes her look underdressed anyway.

Once they enter the apartment everyone else makes her look underdressed too. The music is loud and Beca is worried the super will surely shut the party down or call the cops on them but then she remembers Chloe talking about how Stacie will bribe him to be cool every time they throw a party. The way Chloe had winked when she said the word ‘bribe’ made Beca wonder if she meant money or something else.

Chloe runs up to her, drink in hand and Stacie looks up from a weirdly somber looking conversation with Aubrey (of course Aubrey came, loyal as ever) before following Chloe to stand at her elbow as Chloe eagerly greets Beca and her guest.

“Beca! Oh my gosh Becs you came!” Chloe’s eyes look a little glazed.

“Yeah well, of course I did,” Beca says trying to sound confident. “This is my date- “ and she gestures behind her, then looks to see Ally has left her and is standing next to Angela, a friend of Stacie’s that Beca had met a time or two. They’re at a small makeshift DJ booth comprised of a table, a Macbook, and a small, cheap, plastic midi controller. 

Ally is dancing to the beat and trying to reach over Angela to mix the song while Angela smirks and rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Erm. Well that’s my date over there. Her name’s Ally. We met at work.” Beca turns back to see Stacie run her eyes over Ally with an eyebrow raised and a small smile on her lips.

Chloe beams at her. “You’ll never guess who’s here!”

“Oh yeah I saw Aubrey! Crazy that she flew up here when you’re basically going to be her neighbor once you move Stacie.”

“No, no! Look over there! By the punch.”

Beca shifts her eyes over to the small bar jutting out from Chloe and Stacie’s kitchen and is genuinely shocked to see Tom, the guy Chloe hung around all of Beca’s freshman year.

“Tom!? Tom’s here?”

“Yeah he works in the City! In finance,” Chloe gushes.

Tom looks up and walks over to them.

“Well, well, well,” he says, “if it isn’t the girl with the lovely voice.”

“Yeah…that’s me, I guess. Hi Tom.”

_Did everyone I ever met at Barden move to New York City?_ Beca wonders.

“Here, take this.” Tom hands Beca a cup full of something pink. It smells like a cheap distillery.

“Is this…what did Lilly call that punch she always made for college?” Beca asks.

“Tiger’s Blood!” Stacie grins. “She sent the recipe since she couldn’t be here in person.”

“What is Lilly up to anyway?” Beca asks.

“No one knows,” Chloe says ominously with her eyes wide.

Beca drinks up, enjoying the music and the guestlist. She can’t help but notice how occasionally Tom’s hands will linger on the small of Stacie’s back while his eyes linger on Chloe. She tries to shake any untoward thoughts out of her head by dancing with Ally, but Ally’s been dancing since she was three and it’s hard to keep up.

She cannot remove the stark reminder of Chloe’s former career as stripper once she and Ally get into a bit of a dance off while everyone else eggs them on. Beca goes to the bathroom to catch her breath.

When she returns Chloe’s missing, Stacie looks mischievous, and Tom looks practically beside himself over something.

She finds Ally and grabs her hand.

“Let’s get out of here,” Beca says, her voice duller than she means it to be.

“Sure, where do you wanna go?”

Beca pauses.

Then, “Take me to your place.”

_This was a bad idea._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [If you don't ship AK with Ariana Grande do you even ship?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAdiB_IDRD4)


	26. A Bed With Your Name On It

Beca has to recite a mantra in her head to stop herself from running away and disappearing down the dark streets, as Ally drags her by the hand back to her apartment. When they get inside Ally guides her over to a couch and Beca swallows hard as the other girl pushes her down.

Ally’s dress rides up her thighs when she puts her hands on Beca’s shoulders, literally mounting her and bringing her mouth to Beca’s with a hot kiss. Beca runs her hands up Ally’s back. She has a summer body and her breath is winter fresh.

Beca shivers as the kiss deepens and Ally runs her tongue across her lower lip.

“Come on,” is all Ally has to say. Beca follows her to the bedroom, head spinning just a little bit.

Ally pulls her dress over her head. Her bra is lacy, ornate, meant to seduce. Beca wastes no time unbuttoning her shirt and throwing it behind her. Before she can continue undressing Ally shoves her onto the bed and gets on her knees in front of her. Beca suppresses a little moan when Ally’s fingers run over her stomach as she unbuttons Beca’s jeans.

She yanks her pants off and then removes Beca’s underwear a bit more carefully. Ally then pushes Beca’s legs apart and the way she…looks at her? _Inspects_ her? Makes Beca’s stomach flip over. Ally looks like she’s ready to go to church.

Ally lowers her head looking up to make eye contact with Beca and kisses up one of Beca’s thighs. Beca’s nerves ignite and she wonders if she can smell flames when Ally pokes her tongue against Beca’s sensitive clit.

Ally’s resting her arms on Beca’s legs and Beca hisses and grabs them as soon as Ally starts eating her out. She makes a big show of swallowing and bobbing her head and Beca tries not to pass out. It’s been so long since anyone has touched her. It should be illegal for things to feel this good.

Beca’s core starts to ache and her back becomes rigid. It’s as if there’s a ringing in her ears and her vision gets fuzzy and faded. The orgasm still surprises her; it’s just that it’s been so long. She’s almost embarrassed until she remembers that’s what Ally was probably going for.

Before Beca can offer to return the favor, Ally says, “I think you’re ready,” sounding very satisfied with herself. 

She walks across the room to a dresser and grabs something out of the top drawer. When she returns, she instructs Beca to lie back as she fiddles with her underwear and…something.

The moonlight shines through the bedroom window and Beca sees with a bit of a start that Ally is slipping a dildo through a hole in the crotch of her underwear. The pair she has on is actually a harness disguised has a normal pair of bikini cut briefs.

Beca’s slightly impressed that Ally had just been wearing those the whole night. 

“Do you just wear those all the time? Does anyone ever judge you?” Beca asks.

Ally flashes her a confident smile and says, “No the only people who see my panties are people I’m gonna fuck anyway. Now turn over.”

Beca gets with the program real fast and obeys. Ally pushes on her back and Beca rests her head on her arms. She practically gulps air down as Ally slides into her, whispering sexy but sweet things into her ear. 

An intense feeling emanates from between her legs, something that’s cousins with both pleasure and pain. It spreads out through her body, sizzling behind her eyes, roaring through her ears.

Beca’s glad she’s facing away from Ally as her own mouth gapes open and she actually mouths ‘oh my God’ silently to herself while her eyes roll back in her head. Ally starts to thrust, picking up rhythm quickly and Beca has to keep reminding herself to breathe. She bites down on her own arm to keep herself from making too much noise but without fail on every thrust Ally bottoms out in her and Beca lets out half choked little whines each time.

It’s as if the bed is moving under her, spinning, and Beca is scrambling to stay on it. Nothing makes sense except for the mounting sensation of Ally’s demands on her body. Beca clutches at the sheets until her hands turn white and says a few silent prayers to gods she doesn’t believe in. She’s drooling and sweating, her eyes are watering. It’s as if she’s become some lesser evolved creature.

“I’m gon- I’m gonna- “ is all she can get out. She comes _hard_. It’s nearly painful as she quivers then clenches down around Ally’s strap on. She can tell she’s so wet it’s probably making a mess, but she doesn’t care. Beca slumps down, and Ally follows her, still buried to the hilt inside her and lies across her back. She strokes her hair and kisses her temple and all Beca can do is pant like an exhausted dog.

The rest of the night is a blur of giggling and intimate moments.

Beca sleeps a peaceful, dreamless sleep. When she wakes up, she feels well rested and downright chippers. Maybe this was a good idea.

Ally’s already showered and started getting ready for the day, but she’s ordered breakfast for both of them. She doesn’t have time to socialize but she asks Beca when she can see her again. They make plans for the next weekend and Beca as to force herself not to skip as she walks home.

**

The next day Beca nervously accepts a call from Chloe. She’s not sure why she’s nervous but she is. Chloe doesn’t call to hound her about Ally, or to announce her wedding date with Stacie, however.

Instead her voice sounds panicked. “The girl who was supposed to take over Stacie’s lease dropped out! Our landlord is booting me out! If I can’t find a place to stay within a week I’m going to have to move back to Portland!”

“You can stay with me!” Beca blurts out.

“…what?”

“Sure, sure. I…we’ll…we can use the sofa bed in the living room.”

“The sofa bed in the _half_ living room you have? Where Amy lives in the other half?”

“We could make it work.” Beca’s not even sure she’s convincing herself.

“I’m not sleeping on a sofa bed,” Chloe says.

“You can have my room; I’ll sleep on the sofa bed.”

It takes some convincing and cajoling, and Chloe swears it’s just temporary, but eventually she agrees to move in with Beca and Fat Amy.

Fat Amy is game for it, pronouncing that they’re kicking off the Barden Renaissance years of their lives. The next few days are spent in a flurry of planning, packing, rearranging, and moving and by the end of it Beca, Fat Amy, and Chloe are all crammed into the same apartment.

It’s tiny and crowded but it’s undoubtedly home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mfw I named Ally after a friend of mine and then realized I'd have to write smut about her oops


	27. Boyfriends Don't Exist Here

It’s undoubtedly a home because they’re undoubtedly a family. Fat Amy is like the reject problem child nobody wants but everyone loves. Chloe is like the family matriarch insisting that everyone be kind to each other, demanding family dinners and game nights. And Beca tries to keep everyone in line. She can’t but she tries.

Even Ally fits in. They’ve been seeing each other for four or five months now and it’s just…easy? Beca doesn’t know how to put it into words. It’s pretty physical, carnal even. But it’s still laced with sweetness.

Beca even unloads the majority of her college bullshit onto Ally.

They’re lying in Ally’s oversized bed one night (obviously Ally doesn’t sleep over at the Brooklyn hub, though she visits occasionally and gets along with everyone when she does). They’re both a little on edge since they got spotted and followed by the paparazzi after their dinner date that evening. Ally was well known as a child star but the first two singles off her debut album have dropped to general and critical acclaim, reigniting public interest around her and who she’s dating.

After the mild harassment neither of them is in the mood for sex so they’re just cuddling, chatting, sharing old memories.

“And Jesse, your college sweetheart – he was your first love then?”

Beca says, “Oh definitely not,” reflexively, with a regretful little chuckle.

Ally rolls herself onto her stomach, props her chin up with her hands, and grins at Beca.

“How have I not heard this story before? Please do tell.”

Beca shifts, uncomfortable in her own skin, but Ally runs a soft hand over her stomach and tilts her head to the side. The effect is calming.

“It all started my freshman year when I was accosted by these two psychos at the Student Activity Fair…” 

Beca spends an hour and fifteen minutes telling Ally about the ups and downs of her and Chloe’s affair, her regrets, her shame, her guilt. Ally listens, gasps, sighs, and covers her mouth with her hands in surprise at all the right spots in the story.

“So, Chloe, huh?” Ally says, curiosity playing in her voice.

“It’s not like that anymore,” Beca assures her. “She’s my best friend.”

“Oh, I know. I just wanted to compliment your taste in women.”

“You of all people should know I have excellent taste in women,” Beca says with an easy grin.

“That’s true. Anyway, what does Chloe think of all of this? I mean you two live together now…like…is it not a little awkward?”

“It’s not _awkward_. It was for a while. Do you remember our first date? The going away party I took you to? That girl was, I think sort of Chloe’s rebound? But more than that because I think what they had was a bit healthier than what Chloe and I had.”

“Do you miss what you two had?” Ally asks.

“Not as much as I missed her friendship for the eighteen months that she was completely out of my life,” Beca says honestly. “I’m better now, happier. Happy I met you, happy Chloe’s back in my life.”

And she means that, she does. 

**

Christmas comes along and Beca’s Dad and Stepmother come up to visit a few days after on the stipulation that Ally can come along to family dinner.

“Dad, Sheila this is Ally…my girlfriend,” Beca says when Ally arrives a bit late to the Chinese restaurant in the Upper West Side that Beca picked out for this get-together.

Ally gives Beca a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down. “Sorry Babe, the radio interview ran over. It was really fun though!” She turns to Mitchell and Sheila. “How was your flight?” And with that the tension is cracked. Everyone has a nice time. Sheila in particular seems to love Ally. As the dinner winds down Beca hums a contented sigh. Something like this would have been rife with drama, or even impossible a couple years ago, but now it’s easy.

**

Being with Ally isn’t always easy though. After her album comes out the media pressure intensifies. She’s in and out of town doing small concerts and opening for regional tours and they start to drift apart. When Ally _is_ in town Beca has to wear giant sunglasses and hats in case they get spotted by fans or the press. Beca doesn’t like all the extra attention but Ally seems to revel in it.

Their split is anticlimactic and amicable. It just isn’t working anymore. Why torture themselves? They promise to remain friends and call it quits as the spring rolls around. Beca is disappointed. Sheila is distraught (“My _grandbabies,_ ” she wails dramatically when she hears the news. “Who will give me my grandbabies now?”) But time heals all wounds, even Sheila’s.

**

Beca can’t sleep the night before her big meeting with Pimp-Lo and his team. Fat Amy is nowhere to be found as she knocks on Chloe’s door. Her light is on and she can hear her bustling around.

“Come in!” Chloe calls after Beca knocks.

Beca walks in the room to see Chloe walking around shirtless, with just a green sports bra and a pink pair of scrub trousers on. Beca rolls her eyes. She’s pretty used to this.

“Sorry, getting changed for bed!” Chloe calls over her shoulder as she rushes by Beca into the living room, no doubt to grab her pajamas out of the bathroom or a stray hamper. When she returns to the bedroom, her hair is up in a messy, but endearing bun, and she has a proper set of PJs on. She bumps past Beca and pounces on her bed before turning to Beca.

“What’s up, Becs?” she asks, eternally bright.

Beca steps into the room and leans her back against the wall. She crosses her arms in front of her chest, feeling a bit self-conscious.

“I’m nervous about tomorrow. I’ve never put my voice on a track without the artist’s request.”

“Your voice is perfect, I’m sure they’ll love it.” Chloe looks so comfortable, relaxed, safe. She looks like home. Beca gets lured into the easy warmth of it all and one of those stupid pointless thoughts, that you have no reason to say, but you spew out anyway because it’s so intriguing in the instant that it crosses your mind, pops into Beca’s head.

“Do you ever think it’s weird that we’re finally both single and we’re not hooking up?” she blurts out.

Beca isn’t sure how someone can give a reproachful but also sweet look, but Chloe has it figured out.

“Beca…” she starts, but she pauses for a minute before saying, “The only way I would hook up with you is if you weren’t single.”

Beca thinks darkly that maybe Chloe has finally cracked, but then Chloe continues, “What I _mean_ is, the only way I’m ever hooking up with you is if you’re not single because you’re dating _me_.”

Beca’s mind is a bit blown. Is…Chloe asking her out? Her heart races. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to try. All the years of bad timing and communication have been weighing heavily on her and even though the load has lightened as the years have passed, she still can’t help but wonder; what if? What if she grew the fuck up? What if Chloe gave her one more chance? What if the worst thing she’s ever done somehow grew into the best thing that could ever happen to her?

Beca opens her mouth before closing it again. She can’t quite figure out what she wants to say. She is startled out of her internal monologue when Fat Amy bangs the apartment door open.

“It’s been a banner year for fucking members of the military you sluts!” she announces.

“Ew…Fat Amy, what the hell?” Beca asks, wrinkling her nose.

“Just because your girlfriend broke up with you and left you high and dry doesn’t mean the rest of us have to be miserable,” Fat Amy replies, as she noisily paws through their small fridge.

“They had a conscious uncoupling, Amy. No one broke up with anyone,” Chloe says, earning a grateful glance from Beca, even though there’s never been any use in reasoning with Fat Amy.

“Whatever Beca wants to tell herself is fine with me. Come on now, it’s time for lights out. Fat Amy needs her beauty sleep!”

**

Beca’s meeting with Pimp-Lo goes just as horribly as she had feared it would. When he rejects her remastered version of his song, she practically seethes. 

She’s just so _tired_. She’s exhausted from noise blaring in her ears, be it from her headphones or from the busy streets of the city. She’s spent from the dreadful palindrome of sleep, eat, work, eat, work, eat, sleep. Humans weren’t meant to live like this, yet she wrestles daily, grappling with the knowledge that it’ll be like this until retirement. Something’s missing.

She can’t put her finger on exactly what is missing, or what the solution might be, so she quits. It’s not the best decision she’s ever made but quitting is better than working herself down to a painful nub, just to have her artistic vision belittled and ignored.

When Beca gets back to the apartment she just wants to drink a beer and sleep for a few days, but Fat Amy is there…Fat Amy-ing all over the place.

It’s a relief, as it always is, when Chloe breezes into the room. But Beca’s happiness to see her is short lived when Chloe reminds the other girls that yes, it’s time for the annual reunion.

Due to anonymous complaints (Beca’s complaints, they were Beca’s complaints. She complained to anyone who would listen that last year _some of the girls_ had _a bit too much to drink_ at the reunion) this year the reunion is more structured. Aubrey helps Emily get the school to partially fund a trip for the New Bellas to visit the City. They plan the whole thing in far more advance than the previous year’s, so more of the girls can come.

Beca pulls her OG Bellas flight attendant uniform on (“ _Please_ , it’ll make Aubrey so _happy_ if we all wear them,” Chloe begs as Beca drags her tired butt around the apartment getting ready.)

There’s a misunderstanding though, because the New Bellas are singing and the Old Bellas are stuck watching. That’s ok. Beca wasn’t really in the mood to sing anyway. She feels sad for Chloe and Aubrey however, and definitely for Flo who skipped some big family event for this thing.

Chloe…seems to be taking it all a little _too_ hard when she tearfully chokes out, “They all definitely have boyfriends,” while watching the New Bellas. 

Beca frowns as she remembers what Chloe had said about dating her the previous night. It’s fine. They’re friends now. They say this type of stuff to each other. Beca had managed to accept whatever… _thing_ Chloe had with Stacie, and Chloe had always been sweet to Ally. 

Chloe has always sort of existed in this dichotomy where it’s kind of hard to tell if she’s joking, if she’s serious, or if she is both one hundred percent joking _and_ completely serious. 

Still…like…sure Beca _had_ forgotten about the conversation from the night before until now thanks to Fat Amy’s interruption and her apprehension about the big meeting at work. Then the theatrics of quitting her job and the scramble to make it to the reunion had delayed her memory even further. But…wait what was Beca even thinking about? Chloe? Chloe wanting a boyfriend? Chloe wanting to date someone? Beca sighs. She’s too tired for all of this.

The Old Bellas huddle around the bar after the performance, drinking their feelings and waiting half-heartedly for Emily.

But Emily _is_ a tall bouncing ball of rainbows and the apology for the mix up that she delivers upon finding them waiting for her _is_ more than heartfelt. That doesn’t stop Chloe from getting that overly-sentimental-boarding-on-nervous-breakdown affect she gets when she reminisces about her years at Barden. That of course triggers Aubrey, who suggests a hairbrained scheme to manage their crippling nostalgia. Aubrey and Chloe are both getting that frightening yet all too familiar, cracked out look in their eyes.

Aubrey lays out a plan to go on a USO tour, hosted by DJ Khaled (Beca’s familiar with his work. He has a strong brand but in terms of music she’s not that impressed. She also thinks it’s funny that she’s probably eaten more pussy than he has after he announced that he refuses to give women oral sex in an interview. Seriously, what a fuck wad.)

Beca is tempted to say no. She needs to stay in New York and find new work. But Chloe agrees to go and Beca very quickly opts in as well. It’s not like she can allow Aubrey and Chloe back to their old ways of terrorizing the girls. Besides, she’s due for a vacation.

Beca is surprised that it took her all night to notice Stacie is eight months pregnant but…Beca knows she has a track record of not noticing exactly what Stacie is up to until it’s too late.

When the girls get back to the apartment (Chloe is already texting Aubrey about arrangements for the trip, even though they just left her at her hotel, not ten minutes earlier), Fat Amy goes to shower and Beca makes herself a strong drink.

This is all very ‘blast from the past’ and Beca isn’t sure what to make of it. She’s a little overwhelmed but one glaring thing Chloe had said all night keeps repeating in Beca’s mind.

“What did you mean, ‘They all have boyfriends,’ or whatever it is you said when we were watching Emily’s girls?” Beca asks. She’s teasing, smiling while she says it, but she’s still curious.

“Oh, I was _totally_ joking. But also like, they probably _do_ all have boyfriends.”

Classic Chloe, one hundred percent serious and completely joking in the same breath.

“What do you care if they all have boyfriends?” Beca says as she makes a little face at Chloe as Chloe sits down next to her on the sofa bed.

Chloe is smiling and pokes her in the ribs before saying, “I don’t know they just look young and happy. They’re in the best days of their lives. I haven’t had a boyfriend or girlfriend in _years_.”

Beca grins, keeping her humorous tone going. “Yeah that must suck, I wouldn’t know.”

Chloe giggles and gives Beca’s leg a little slap. “Oh, please you’re just lucky, you dork.”

“No, I’m pretty sure I’m a huge player,” Beca says, playing serious when she’s the furthest thing from it.

“Oh really? I bet I could get a boyfriend before you,” Chloe jokes.

“No way, Chlo. Everyone wants to date the unemployed, puny grump in the group.”

Chloe’s slightly unhinged expression that she wore at the bar earlier ghosts across her face, coupled with a big smile, and she says, “How about we find out? During the tour? Not who can get a boyfriend first, that’d be too messy. What about…” Chloe lets the ‘ow’ sound in ‘about’ play out on her lips while she thinks. “Who can get a kiss first? From a hot girl or guy. Loser has to buy drinks on the airplane on the way home for the winner.”

Beca scoffs. Surely no one on this tour is going to want to make out with a washed-up a cappella singer. Chloe’s eyes are twinkling, and she seems to be very tickled by this whole idea, though. Beca agrees even though she doesn’t plan on actually playing.

As Beca drifts off to sleep, a nagging feeling that she’s forgetting something important bugs her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Look I don't understand why we're not friends on Tumblr yet so click me K?](https://cameron-gray-esquire.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I want it known that when I conceived bringing pp3 into the story months ago, I pictured Beca's version of Bend Over being inspired by...bending Chloe over (or Chloe bending her over. But it didn't fit. Maybe someday.


	28. So There Is A Competition

Throughout the next couple of weeks the girls are all buzzing with activity. Aubrey demands all their sizes to make new costumes. Chloe and Beca start working on music and choreography. Fat Amy plans out the snacks. Emily, who had flown _back_ to Atlanta for school she couldn’t miss after the reunion, flies back up to New York to help them plan.

It’s crowded in the apartment. Emily sleeps in Chloe’s bed with her. But though it makes for a chaotic living arrangement, the energy is addictive and Beca finds herself really looking forward to this adventure.

As Chloe is heading to work a few days before they leave, she calls over her shoulder, “Please work a solo in for Aubrey in one of the songs! And eat lunch today! And maybe put on real pants!”

_Maybe_ Beca thinks to all of those requests. She has to admit she’s enjoying this bit of time off of work.

**

There aren’t any direct flights to Rota, Spain, so the girls who are in New York fly to Jerez de la Frontera and meet up with the Bellas who flew from other locations to take a train together. The flight is long, just about as long as the flight to Copenhagen, if Beca is remembering correctly.

Beca sits next to Fat Amy, who promptly falls asleep and starts to snore. She flashes a desperate glance to Aubrey who wordlessly stands up and gestures to trade with her. Beca gratefully accepts and plops down, making herself comortable next to Cynthia-Rose. She peers over at the book Cynthia-Rose is buried in. The cover reads **_Mary Tudor: The Spanish Tudor_**.

“What ‘cha got there, champ?” Beca asks.

“Just a book about Bloody Mary. You know she was big with the Spanish. Thought I might read up on her a bit since we’re going to Spain.”

They start to catch up and eventually Cynthia-Rose tucks the book away so she can focus on her conversation with Beca. She’s missed this.

Later, Beca gets up to stretch her legs and can’t hide her smile when she looks over to see Emily sleeping peacefully on Chloe’s shoulder, unbothered by the clanking of coffee cups on seat trays or the glare of the bright sun punching through the white window coverings. Beca gives Chloe a little nod and lets her see her smile. Chloe’s mouth curves up and twinkles back at Beca before she brings a finger to her lips to mime a shushing noise.

**

By the time the Bellas have finished their flight, and their train ride, they’re all completely exhausted.

Beca is ready to ignore the two beefy army men who welcome them to the base, but Fat Amy isn’t, and she can practically _hear_ Chloe’s mind say, “Target acquired,” when they see Chicago. He’s attractive in a very standard and non-threatening way. Beca has to hide a small snigger when Chloe says, “Is that like, later than the night?” after Chicago mentions meeting back at the base at seventeen hundred.

Chloe is so obviously pandering to the hetero male gaze, Beca finds it hard to take seriously. The kissing contest was a stupid idea but if it’s going make Chloe act this silly and entertaining maybe she’ll put up with it for a bit longer.

They head into the airplane hangar turned performance hall and meet some of the other performers. It seems within seconds, Beca has been roped into performing in another bizarre riff off because of _course_ this actually is a competition and of course the Bellas are going to have to find their sound and prove their worth again.

Still as they sing, she can’t help but feel incredibly sentimental. It feels like a family reunion, but less stressful and you don’t have to worry about finding that one cousin a little bit hot.

When Chloe sings Love Me Harder, she can’t help but feel a little turned on.

**

After the riff off they find their way to their hotel rooms. Beca isn’t sure how they all managed to get their own rooms, but it feels lonely compared to all their trips in college. The other girls must feel the same way because when Beca pokes her head out of her door, she sees all the rest of the girls heading excitedly to Aubrey’s room. She trails behind them happily.

The Bellas pile onto Aubrey’s bed and share a box of chocolates while scheming about the night’s performance and reminiscing about the good old days.

“Do you guys remember that time when- “

“No this is more like when we- “

“I still can’t believe they let you get away with that! Did you ever- “

“I _swear_ that wasn’t me it had to have been- “

The muscles in Beca’s face hurt from smiling so much and her ears are ringing with the sound of laughter.

Aubrey gets up to check her phone and then exclaims, “Girls! Girls! We’re late! Everyone get dressed, pronto! Come _on_ now, on the double!” and the party is over.

When they get back to the base a stagehand informs them that they can go last instead of first like they were scheduled to, and they touch up their hair and makeup on sight.

One of Khaled’s music executives introduces himself as Theo. He’s nice enough; it seems like he enjoyed the riff off spectacle. He’s very obviously interested in Beca and she considers using him to win the kiss contest before remembering the person they kiss has to be hot, and Theo definitely isn’t hot enough to warrant a win. He gives off major little brother vibes anyway.

Despite being late, their performance starts off smashingly. The energy of the crowd mixed with the enthusiasm of the Bellas is infectious and Beca’s voice swells with emotion as she sings. At this point she can’t care less if they win, she just wants them to sing together and enjoy one another’s company. Even when Taps interrupts their performance, Beca doesn’t worry too much.

They retire to the hotel and Beca is sitting in bed reviewing some choreography for their next show. She wants to ask Chloe exactly why she’s spanking her during the song I Don’t Like It, I Love It (though she imagines Chloe just likes the aesthetic and probably doesn’t read into it any more than that.)

Beca walks down the hall towards Chloe’s room, smiling at Aubrey as she heads to the ice machine. She enters Chloe’s room and says, “Hey I just wanted to- wait are you and Aubrey wearing matching pajamas?”

Chloe beams at her. “Yeah! They were a Christmas gift from her this year. She gave you a pair too!”

“What? No she didn’t.”

“Yeah she did Becs. If I recall correctly, she sent them up and you said, ‘I’d rather sleep in a suit made of fire ants than pjs curated by Aubrey Posen.’”

“I…ok that does sound like me,” Beca admits.

“Did I just hear my name?” Aubrey says, eyes looking beady as she sticks her head into the room.

“Aubrey! Come in!” Chloe says waving her in. Eventually everyone else joins them. When Emily barges in demanding that they dress up and head over to the casino where DJ Khaled is staying Beca thinks that even if she doesn’t really care about winning, obviously Emily and Aubrey do so she may as well go all in with the rest of the girls.

It’s shaping up like a normal night, well at least as normal as a night out with the Bellas can be, when Beca spots Theo down the hall after they go into the casino. She wants to go talk to him since he can probably point them in Khaled’s direction, but Chloe spots Beca spotting Theo and obviously has other ideas.

It’s been a while since Chloe’s grabbed her tits, so maybe she’s out of practice but the way she manhandles Beca, trying to push her by the chest out of Theo’s eyeline makes her want to scoff. Beca has to role her eyes at the way Chloe is obviously trying to get an upper hand in the game by keeping her away from Theo.

Chloe must have noticed his obvious crush on Beca too. Beca wants to tell her not to worry about it, that she has no intention of winning or even playing the game, but she’s interrupted by Aubrey.

Beca swallows a smirk when Chloe tries to follow Theo and Beca to the makeshift recording studio in Khaled’s hotel room. She wants to tell Chloe maybe she’s taking this kissing competition a little too seriously.

At any rate, whatever interest Theo has in Beca is probably dampened by the actual dampening from the fire extinguishers that they set off in Khaled’s formerly impressive suite. Beca chokes down laughter until the corners of her eyes are watering as they walk back to the hotel. It’s just so classic Bellas. Beca wouldn’t have had the night end any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only TWO more chapters!


	29. Drugs Are Toxic

The next morning as Beca heads out of her room, all packed and ready to travel to the next base in Italy and she sees Fat Amy and Chicago exchanging meaningful glances as they part ways in the lobby. Beca follows Fat Amy into the dining room for breakfast. Chloe joins them and Beca has to bite her tongue not to comment on Chloe’s outfit. She’s obviously trying to catch a certain service member’s eye with her cute camo top. Something about the way Fat Amy and Chicago made eyes at each other makes Beca think that even Chloe’s best laid thirst trap would be in vain.

While waiting for their transportation Fat Amy stirs up trouble by acting shady about where she was the previous night, cutting shifty glances at Chloe and refusing to give up her whereabouts.

Thankfully, Stacie Facetimes Chloe and they all get to meet her newborn baby Bella. She’s precious and plays everyone’s heartstrings like a pro. They make a pact as a group to sing their hearts out for the rest of the tour and everyone calms down.

The next few days are a complete haze of adventure, adrenaline, and that wistful but wonderful feeling of returning to doing something you had to stop, but never really wanted to. Their performances are filled with equal parts promise and remembrance. Everyone just letting go and relaxing (except for maybe Aubrey) seems to have improved their sets.

**

After a show on their first night in France, Theo pulls Beca aside. “DJ Khaled wants to meet you tomorrow.”

“Um ok.”

“Meet me in the afternoon. By the hotel pool?”

“Sure,” Beca says, only a little bit wary.

The next morning, she tries to dress professionally, hoping that DJ Khaled is going to inform her that he’s selected the Bellas as the opening act for his big headline performance. She runs into Chloe outside of the elevators.

“Morning Chlo.”

“Good morning!” Chloe sings at her. Then she gives her outfit a once over.

“Well don’t you look like a…lesbian.”

Beca laughs as Chloe takes in the sweater that she’s pulled over a button-down shirt.

“No, no,” Beca says, gesturing at her collar. “See look, my collar is bejeweled.”

“Hmm you’re right. Ok, you look like you’re an extra on Riverdale then,”

“Chloe,” Beca groans. “Stop roasting me, I have a meeting.”

“Whatever you say Becs!” Chloe says with an exaggerated wink.

Beca rolls her eyes leaving Chloe behind to find Theo. She bumps into him and he takes her to meet DJ Khaled.

The eccentric and if she’s being honest, a bit extra, musician makes her the offer to open up for him. She finds herself at first elated, thinking he’s selected the Bellas to sing, but when he clarifies that he only wants Beca, she thinks twice.

“Beca it’s time to go to the next level,” DJ Khaled insists.

She doesn’t know how to explain to him that there is no level she wants to be on without the Bellas. She tries to make it clear to him and to Theo, as flattered as she is, this isn’t what she got into singing for. The men won’t listen though, they seem so certain that this is what Beca wants without even really wanting her actual input. She sighs internally. She agrees just to get them off of her back and retreats to her room.

**

Beca is lying on her bed, head resting on her hands woven into her hair trying to think about how she should handle the situation when she is alarmed by the intensity with which someone is knocking on her door.

“Beca? Beca!” Beca can make out Emily’s voice, panicked and scared, as she pounds on the door.

“Emily, woah, calm down. What’s going on?” Beca asks as she opens the door.

“It’s the girls. Chloe and Aubrey and everyone. Everyone but you and Amy and me. Everyone’s lost their minds!”

“What are you talking about?”

“They all drank absinthe! We were sitting in a café and all girls but me ordered absinthe and then Chloe said she was inside of all of us,” _Sounds about right_ Beca thinks, “and then we sang Cake By The Ocean and then everyone else started hallucinating and now they’re all high as balls and wreaking havoc throughout the hotel!” Emily wails.

“What! Wait, Aubrey did drugs?”

Emily just makes urgent gestures and whines at her.

“Ok where is everyone? Take me to Chloe first.”

“Come on,” Emily says as she grabs Beca’s hand and pulls her out of the room down the hallway towards Chloe’s room. They’re briefly interrupted by Flo chasing Jessica and Ashley down the hall with a live lobster in her outstretched arm.

“Backburner,” Beca says, shaking her head at Emily.

When they enter Beca can hear garbled singing and splashing and Emily leads her over to Chloe’s bathroom. Beca rushes inside the bathroom to see Chloe fully clothed in her bathtub, with both the faucet and shower on. She’s actually holding the removeable showerhead like a mic up to her mouth, lying down in the tub singing into it while water pours down on her face.

“Chloe? Chloe!” Beca kneels down by the tub, rolling up her sleeves and trying to help Chloe sit up. Emily folds her arms in front of her chest looking nervous.

“Oh my God,” Chloe gasps. “Beca I knew you’d come to save me. Help! We’ve been kidnapped!”

“Chloe you’re just high, you just- “

“Beca,” Chloe says seriously, pulling on Beca’s shirt with her free hand, so that their faces are very close together, “I think if we’re all going to die now, I should tell you I never stopped loving you.”

Emily gasps and Beca turns her head to see that the younger girl is beaming before she covers her mouth with her hands.

“Emily she’s high it’s not- “

“Are you two going to get married? Can I be your flower girl!?”

“You’re a little old to- no I mean that’s not the point she’s just _high_ this isn’t a thing!” Beca insists, feeling herself flush painfully.

They’re both interrupted by a loud bang and Beca can see Aubrey chaotically flail into the room, looking deranged with her hair sticking out at all angles haphazardly before she yells, “I just wanted to tell Chloe I’ve always thought she has the _best_ body!”

“NOT NOW AUBREY!” Beca shouts while Emily ponders, “How many lesbians can one a cappella group support?”

“They’re not _lesbians_ they’re just high,” Beca insists.

Emily rolls her eyes, putting her hands on her hips and looking at Beca with an exasperated expression. “I mean obviously some of you are lesbians,” she says with certain finality.

"I _love you_ Beca," Chloe cries out.

"Alright maybe _she_ _'s_ a lesbian," Beca says, jerking her head towards Chloe.

Fat Amy rushes in after Aubrey. “What did I miss!? I just caught Lilly trying to set fire to my bed sheets!”

“Emily let everyone get blitzed on absinthe!” Beca yells back at her, frustrated.

“It’s not _my_ fault!” Emily insists while Fat Amy tries to subdue Aubrey.

Beca tries to drag Chloe out of the tub while Chloe’s singing gets louder. She’s doing her best Britney Spears impression which _would_ be endearing if she didn’t keep turning the showerhead into Beca’s face, spraying her with cold water.

Fat Amy manages to body slam Aubrey into Chloe’s bed while Emily helps Beca wrestle Chloe out of the bathroom. They shove her into the bed alongside Aubrey.

Aubrey starts playing with Chloe’s hair while Chloe continues to hum and Beca says, “You two don’t do anything weird we have to go deal with the other girls. Or do, it’s not like things can get any worse.”

And with that Fat Amy, Emily, and Beca take off into the hotel finding the hallucinating Bellas one by one (or two by two in Ashley and Jessica’s case) and then taking them back to Chloe’s room to cloister. The process takes all night and by the next morning everyone has come down and no one remembers anything about the night except for the three girls who had to go through the trauma of dealing with their high asses.

The absinthe victims are hungry and thirsty, so they all drag their weary bodies to a small restaurant near the waterfront. Chloe’s still in her damp clothes and drapes a blanket around her shoulders. She looks cute and vulnerable cuddled up in it.

“I have no idea what just happened,” Emily says, shaking her head in mock disappointment. “What are we doing with our lives?”

As they eat and drink Beca lays out Khaled’s proposal for her to sing solo. Everyone is encouraging but Beca isn’t so sure. There’s only one way Beca is opening for DJ Khaled tonight.

“I have an idea,” she starts, and everyone leans in to listen.

**

As Beca waits in the wings while DJ Khaled announces her, she tries not to get nervous but it’s hard not to. She’s pretty sure the last time she really sang solo in front of everyone was when she sang the Cups song when she tried out for the Bellas all those years ago. Her security blanket is in the front row though. Everything is as it should be.

The lights pan down on her as she steps onto the stage. She uses the foot pedal to record the vocalizations she sang earlier in Khaled’s suite, taking a moment to appreciate the irony that if all the Bellas were singing, those vocalizations would be different parts for the girls. Whether DJ Khaled wants it or not, he’s getting the Bella experience.

Beca locks eyes with Chloe and her heart swells with emotion. Chloe’s eyes are glossed over with happy tears. The image squeezes Beca’s heart almost so hard that it hurts. If it weren’t for Chloe…well. Beca doesn’t even want to waste time thinking about a life without Chloe. She’s done with all of that. _I think there’s something you should know._

Beca guides the other girls up on stage and they sing together, the last time, but just of the tour. Beca has no doubt they’ll be singing as a group in a retirement home somewhere in sixty years, annoying all the other retirees, doctors, and nurses.

The performance is fine, great even, but it’s so not the point.

As Beca sings out the last few notes, backed up by the girls who will always have her back, she holds her chest and breathes hard. In some ways it’s over and in some ways, everything is just beginning. She turns back to the Bellas and Chloe crashes into her, wrapping her up in a hug. The way Chloe clutches her says a lot more than any words, or even any song, ever could. _I think there’s something you should know_.

Everyone else dogpiles on Beca and the crowd goes wild. The girls are crying, Aubrey in particular is sobbing _very_ theatrically. Beca is trying to get her hands on every girl. She sees a flash of red sneak past the corner of her eye and turns out of Jessica and Ashley’s embrace to watch Chloe march towards Chicago in a little alcove off to the side of the performance hall.

Beca follows, because well… _I think there’s something you should know._

“Where are,” Jessica starts.

“You going?” Ashley finishes, but Beca ignores both of them.

Chloe, a woman on a mission, stomps over to Chicago confidently and grabs him by the tie. She pulls him in for a dramatic kiss and Beca has to stifle a giggle. She’s seen enough.

_I think there’s something you should know._

Beca runs over to Chloe, grabs her hand to pull her out of Chicago’s embrace, and opens her mouth to say…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know there's no angst in this chapter but I hope I've abused all of you sufficiently by ending it in this cliff hanger. [Come scream at me on Tumblr to hurry up and resolve this.](https://cameron-gray-esquire.tumblr.com/)


	30. Chloe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine if I knew anything about pacing.

Chloe hadn’t planned on finally saying ‘I love you,’ to Beca in Copenhagen but she hadn’t planned on Beca ripping her heart out and shredding it like a hungry pack of wolves either. Later when she’s calmed down, when Aubrey has stopped gushing about their big win at Worlds and how it’s set a new gold standard for the Bellas, and how Das Sound Machine can suck a great big bag of dicks, Chloe realizes in a quiet fervor that she had only said ‘I love you’ because somehow she knew it was what would hurt Beca the most at that moment.

Chloe isn’t entirely sure how she knows that. Maybe there’s something perverse about saying ‘I love you’ during a fight. Maybe Chloe knows that the twisted fact that they both know it’s out of anger will only serve to haunt Beca. 

Or…maybe it’s not really an attack. Maybe it’s just the sad, bitter truth and Chloe says it because she knows she’s never going to speak to Beca again and though it’s far too little, too late to be bringing something as clearly useless as honesty into the situation, it would be a shame if neither of them ever said it. Right?

Chloe fumes her way from the hotel to the airport, during the flight home, in which Beca is missing, from the Atlanta airport back to Barden, and as she hastily packs her things.

She tells everyone she feels ill and jetlagged. The cursory goodbyes she says to the other Bellas are hollow and rushed. She has to get out of the house before Beca gets back. It’s a sudden and broken ending to a college career she had purposely (it was on purpose, right? Who even knows anymore) dragged out by an extra three years.

When Chloe gets back to Portland, she shuts herself in her room and her parents are positively befuddled. Chloe has never acted so isolated or standoffish before but really what is she supposed to do? 

Beca’s pathetic texts don’t help the situation. 

**Beca:** Listen…I know I fucked up like so bad. Like beyond bad. It turns out my dad is (still) a major homophobe and I need his financial support if I want to follow my dreams for a while. But I don’t mind keeping things on the DL from him for a while and then the second I’ve got enough money saved up he can forreal suck a duck. Also Jesse turning up at Worlds- I wasn’t expecting that, and for a minute I guess I just thought I owed it to him to try and work things out. Also Aubrey…well I don’t know. You need to catch up with her. She kind of told me some things, that I realize now don’t matter but I guess at the time they made me doubt you had feelings for me beyond just being a friend.

**Beca:** Dick. My dad can suck a dick.

**Beca:** Anyway can we please just talk? Just one phone call?

Seriously?

Chloe types out and deletes a dozen different caustic responses as she practically foams at the mouth over how out of touch and useless Beca’s texts are. Why should she give a shit what Beca’s dad thinks? Who cares if Jesse turned up at Worlds? And what on earth does Aubrey have to do with anything?

Chloe is most enraged by Beca saying, ‘But I don’t mind keeping things on the DL’ because their thing has always been on the down-low. Chloe has always been Beca’s dark, shameful, dirty secret. Her hands shake as she tries to figure out what to say.

**Beca** : Chloe I’m so sorry for everything. Please just let’s talk, just one call.

Chloe can’t remember the last time she was so fucking angry. If all Beca wants to do is talk then that’s precisely the last thing Chloe plans on doing. Saying nothing at all is the easiest way to get her point across but…well maybe there’s a way to still get her message across without giving Beca the peace of mind an actual response might give her.

It’s with a touch of vindictive delight that Chloe flips on her read receipts and then mutes Beca’s contact. Hadn’t she told her never to talk to her again?

Chloe hides out in her room for the rest of the summer sleeping as much as humanely possible, watching YouTube, sneaking some of her mom’s wine, uselessly browsing the internet. 

As fall looms over her, Chloe’s mother annoyingly knocks on the door.

“Chloe, Sweetie? I know graduating is tough, but your father and I wondered if we could ask about your plans.”

“I don’t know Mom,” Chloe says as she pulls her comforter up around her shoulders and turns away from her mother. She hopes her mom won’t venture further into her room and open up the blinds or turn any lights on. She doesn’t want her to see how messy and filthy Chloe has let the room get.

“Do you have any ideas?”

“No,” Chloe says, devoid of any emotion. What ideas could she have? What plans? She’s useless. She took seven years to get an English degree and a music minor. She’s not qualified for anything. She’s certain that even if she were qualified for some career path that no one would want her on it.

Her mom leaves but a few hours later her dad sticks his head in the door and demands that they talk. Chloe pretends to agree with everything he says about responsibility and independence and resumes and the family standard for excellence. He wants her to strike out on her own, get a job, her own place. If she can’t do that then she can go and see a doctor.

The last thing Chloe wants is some shrink telling her what she already knows; that she’s irreparably fucked up. She’s spent all summer languishing in bed. She’s surprised her skin hasn’t grafted to it.

Chloe wonders if she’s always been like this, wonders if she was born a ghost. She can’t remember what it feels like to have that jitterhope feeling of apprehension for the future. What future? She’s not trying to be dramatic, but she really wouldn’t mind if she ceased to exist. She doesn’t want to die. She isn’t suicidal. She just wouldn’t mind if her existence halted.

She applies to substitute teach when the summer ends and she actually gets to teach a few classes. They let her teach some middle school English and sub for some high school drama classes. She doesn’t get too much work though, and she certainly doesn’t make enough money to get her own place. She applies to coffee shops and restaurants, but she’s never had any experience in the foodservice industry, and nothing comes through.

Chloe thinks that surely a bookstore might consider her and that’s how she finds herself downtown on a Thursday afternoon dropping of a resume (likely in vain but it’s worth a try) at one of Portland’s many independent bookstores.

They don’t seem interested but that’s fine, Chloe didn’t really want to work there anyway. She just wanted to get her dad off of her back for a few more days.

As she leaves neon lights, out of place in the mid-day sun, catch her eye across the street. _Girls! Girls! Girls!_ A sign above a strip club promises. Portland actually has the highest amount of strip clubs per capita in the country. Oregon protects nudity as part of free speech pretty ferociously and the city has everything from a vegan strip club to bars that just include stripping as part of the ambiance.

_I’ll teach underprivileged children how to sing, or I’ll dance exotically._

It can’t hurt to look in the window, right? She’s obviously not going to start stripping but she can peak at this place.

But of course, the windows are opaque, so she pokes her head in the door and the smells of alcohol and dust overwhelm her senses.

“Looking for a job?” a rough, Yankee voice intrudes on her ears. A stocky bald man with a patchy beard is grinning at her from a little booth, obviously designed to check IDs and take covers.

“Oh! No! No, I was just…”

“Only one reason a girl who looks like _you_ comes into a place like this in the middle of a weekday. And it ain’t to find a date.”

“Really I promise I was just…”

“You can make over a grand on a good night, sweet thing,” the man says like it’s no big deal.

“No, I…wait did you say a grand?”

Chloe walks fully into the place and the man extends his hand. “Ronnie Meyer, pleased to meet ‘cha.”

Chloe shakes his hand a bit warily. He’s…a character, she’ll give him that. And after some chatting, he convinces her to ‘audition’ for him. 

The music is all wrong and she still mouths the words _sweat, drippin’ down your chest_ while she dances for him, but he claps and grins and it’s been a while since she’s had any kind of positive attention. She reasons that she’ll be able to afford her own place for like…a year after only dancing for a month or so and decides that taking her clothes off for strangers can’t be any more humiliating than what Beca put her through for four years.

**

Chloe should be used to choking in performances after the disaster that was the Bellas’ last season, but she’s not. Maybe it’s because she has to do this one solo. It feels like she’s already naked when she walks out on the ‘mainstage’ of the strip club and she doesn’t know how the place can remain dim with so many lights strobing and flashing around the club. She can make out wolf whistles and catcalls, somehow still audible over the music.

She grabs the pole and sort of saunters around it before she hears some faceless jag yell, “Your top! Take your top off!” Her face burns because she was getting to it ok? Instead, her nerves overpower her, and she runs off the stage. She feels like a fucking idiot. The other girls look at her like she is one. 

“Don’t sweat it, Babe. Sweet girls like you always get nervous the first time,” Ronnie assures her with an exaggerated wink. Chloe feels anything but assured. She gets a little drunk before her next performance and it goes much, much better.

It’s gross but a high all at the same time. It’s confusing. Chloe has always loved to dance. Maybe there are worse ways to earn money. She makes enough after a few weeks to move out of her parent’s place. (Of course, she doesn’t tell them how she lies and says that a teacher is out on maternity leave so she’s picking up her class for a longer time period.)

She becomes functionally nocturnal and starts banking cash.

The thing Chloe likes the most about dancing is that she doesn’t have to think about Beca while she’s doing it.

**

Months and months, closing in on a year really, into what was supposed to be a temporary arrangement Chloe notices a tall woman sitting close to the stage. There are women in the club all the time but something about this one stands out. The flashing lights shine in Chloe’s eyes and block out her face but she holds up a bill for Chloe to come get.

Chloe playfully gets on her hands and knees to crawl over to the generous tip but as she approaches her, her heart drops out of her chest. It’s Stacie. Stacie stands and says, “Boop!” while bopping Chloe on the nose with the twenty-dollar bill she’s been holding out. Chloe gapes at her, too surprised to feel anything else.

So, it turns out Stacie had gotten wise to what Chloe was up to. She shows Chloe some cryptic Facebook posts Chloe had made while drunk earlier that week and all the times Chloe had ignored her calls.

Stacie takes Chloe out for late-night chicken tenders and grills her as to why she’s doing this shit. Chloe doesn’t really have a good answer. “Money…you know…” she says, feeling puny.

“Chloe I’m all for showing a little skin, but this isn’t you. Is this about Beca?”

Chloe puts her head down onto her arms. “Why can’t one thing in my life be about something other than Beca? It’s over. She and I aren’t a thing anymore. She chose him. I’m done with her.”

“So, it is about Beca,” Stacie says.

“Of course, it’s about Beca,” Chloe admits, drowning in self-loathing. “I can’t…I don’t…” Chloe is having trouble putting words to all her feelings.

“Hey I know, it’s ok,” Stacie soothes.

Stacie stays for a week, on the sofa in Chloe’s fancy apartment. Despite oodles of male attention at the club, Chloe’s been really lonely, and Stacie’s company is honestly great.

Stacie leaves but promises to visit again soon.

Chloe starts calling Stacie while she walks to work every night. Though they were friendly in college, being two of the wilder Bellas, they get even closer. Chloe obsessively recounts the nature of her and Beca’s relationship to Stacie and to her credit Stacie is never judgmental, just a good listener. Chloe likes to hear about the impressive training program NASA is putting Stacie through down in Houston and how much Stacie loves it. It must be nice to be on a career track you’re passionate about.

“I have big news,” Stacie says one night on their usual phone call.

“What is it?”

“I think it needs to be delivered in person. You good to have a visitor next week?”

“Yeah of course!” Chloe is excited for Stacie to visit again. Over the past year, it’s the time she felt the least alone.

**

Stacie flies in on a Friday afternoon and Chloe picks her up from the airport. Stacie spills her news in the car, apparently unable to wait any longer.

“We’re moving to New York City,” she announces.

“You’re moving to New York City?”

“No. _We’re_ moving to New York City.”

“Stacie…what are you even talking about?”

“I’m getting transferred there to work. My contract is for one year. I’m gonna need a roomie, preferably one flush with cash. You fit the bill.”

“Isn’t Beca still up there?” Chloe asks.

“That’s like ninety percent of the reason you should come with me,” Stacie says.

“Uh…”

“Don’t you want to move on to the next chapter of your life? You can’t be afraid of her forever; it’s been a year. Anyway, you probably won’t even see her unless you want to. You do know how big the City is right?”

“I guess.”

“Besides you need a fresh start. I know you don’t really enjoy living out this stripper alter-ego of yours. Is this what you pictured doing when you were a little girl?”

“No, I was like every other little kid. I thought I would be a vet.” Chloe says as she searches for some street parking near her apartment.

“Why don’t you do that?”

“Do what?”

“You can go to vet school up there. I’m sure they’ve got some good programs.”

In the end Chloe agrees because Stacie is right, it’s not like she has anything going for her in Portland. She doesn’t actually plan to apply to vet school, but Stacie goes to all this trouble to find all these internships related to animal medicine and care and she needs a job. She’s not going to start stripping again.

Stacie makes a perfect roommate. It’s technically the second time they’ve lived together but the first time Chloe has the bandwidth free to notice all of Stacie’s little proclivities. She’s surprisingly neat, and yeah sure, she has guys over pretty frequently, but Chloe barely notices since she’s so quiet about it.

Chloe tries her hand at dating too but…it all feels off. The dates are fun, but any time it’s time for things to go further she chickens out and ghosts them.

“…and I don’t know I guess it’s just so hard. I haven’t slept with anyone since Beca and- “ Chloe is trying to explain her dating woes to Stacie over a home-cooked dinner.

“Oh my god, it’s just sex, Chloe look.” And with that Stacie stands up, marches over to Chloe and pulls her in for a deep kiss. Chloe can taste Stacie’s signature bourbon on her lips. It’s surprisingly a very sweet and soft kiss. Chloe doesn’t mean for her stomach to swoop and turn over, but it does. She breaks the kiss anyway.

“Stacie!”

Stacie just grins and returns to her seat.

Chloe had forgotten just how good that felt.

She starts thinking about Stacie a little more than usual. She especially thinks about her when she’s lying in bed waiting for sleep. Her lips…

Stacie had kissed her like she knew what she wanted.

Chloe’s not entirely surprised she ends up dragging Stacie to bed a few weeks later. She’s just safe and comfortable like that. And ok she’s super fucking hot too.

They’d just been having a normal movie night and Stacie had tossed some popcorn at her and in response Chloe had dumped her entire bowl over Stacie’s head. They were laughing so hard and Chloe had gotten up to help Stacie pick it off her clothes. Just like that, they were face to face in the dark and Chloe had started kissing Stacie, hard.

Chloe pulls Stacie into her bedroom and they fall into bed, giggling as much as they’re making out. Chloe sheds her clothes on instinct and Stacie follows suit but as soon as they’re naked Chloe hesitates.

“I don’t know if…” Chloe isn’t sure what to say.

“It’s been a while, I know. We can stop if you want to.”

“No, Jesus no. I don’t _want_ to stop I just…”

“Just tell me what to do Chloe.”

“Maybe I want you to tell me what to do.”

Stacie smiles widely at that.

“Ok, get your vibrator out.”

Chloe isn’t sure if Stacie has been through her things, heard her using it, or just assumes that everyone has a treasure trove of sex toys like she does, but she doesn’t question it. She pulls her vibrator out of her bedside table, turns it on, and makes to put it in between her legs.

“No, no.” Stacie stops her. “That’s too easy. I want you to get yourself off with it, but you can’t use your hands.”  
  


Chloe whines and squirms but agrees. She tries using her thighs to clench the vibrator down, but she can’t pull it down hard enough or into the right place. 

“Why don’t you try a position other than lying down?” Stacie hints.

Chloe thinks for a beat and realization dawns over her. She flips over and straddles the whirring sex toy, spreading her knees wide so she can bring her pussy into full contact with her only possible source of pleasure. She puts her hands out in front of her and grinds down on the vibrator. It feels sinfully delicious. 

She drops her head and concentrates on the pleasure that washes over her body. It doesn’t take too long for her to come and when she does, she’s not feeling shy at all anymore. Immediately after her orgasm she grabs Stacie’s hand and drags it down in between her messy, wet thighs. She starts fucking herself with Stacie’s fingers, finally relaxed around the other girl.

After they both finish a few times Stacie gives her a quick kiss on the cheek. “See? Just sex. No big deal.”

And she’s right. It really doesn’t feel like a big deal. It doesn’t feel like a burden or a dark, shameful secret.

**

Stacie lays it out for her the next day in more certain terms. She tells her that she adores her, but she’s not looking for love, and she doesn’t want to complicate their roommate relationship, nor their friendship. She compliments her skills in the sack and says that if Chloe is truly ok with it as it is, just as a friends with benefits thing, then she wouldn’t mind it happening again.

And it doesn’t happen too often. It happens just enough. It’s almost a running inside joke between the two. Neither of them ever has to worry about how a date turns out because they’ve always got one another to count on. 

**

Chloe is surprised to see Emily calling her one day as winter takes over the City. She had thought most everyone from her past was done with her.

“Hello?”

“Chloe, Benji broke up with me. I think I might die from the pain,” Emily sobs over the phone.

“No shh, hey it’s ok, I’m right here. Just talk to me.”

Chloe’s already decided she’s flying down to Atlanta for Christmas.

**

Barden’s campus has a creepy air about it and it’s not just the snowstorm that’s blown in. Chloe shakes off the bad vibes so she can be there for Emily.

And…she didn’t _plan_ this ok? She didn’t really think she needed to even worry about Beca anymore. But when she sees her standing dumbly outside of the pharmacy in the dim light and quiet snow, she has to stop herself from just _slapping the shit out of her_.

Honestly is Beca haunting her now? Chloe quickly decides she is just _not_ ready for this confrontation and walks away briskly and purposefully but then she hears the _crack_ on the sidewalk and Beca’s cries of pain.

She really does look one part pathetic and one part innocent lying there in an icy heap.

Chloe can’t help herself. She helps Beca, goes to visit her in the following days, and just like that they’re back.

**

It’s different this time around. Beca doesn’t hold that mysterious hold over her that she used to, not really. Stacie seems thrilled at the whole situation. Chloe wonders if this is what Stacie had wanted all along, if she had secretly been Parent Trapping them from the get-go.

But she and Stacie still hook up on occasion and her newfound friendship with Beca is kind of formal. They meet for coffees but never hug. Amy and Beca come over for movie nights but never crash at her and Stacie’s. Beca doesn’t let ‘Chlo’ fall from her lips easily in conversation. So, they’re back but they’re not all the way back.

But it doesn’t hurt like it used to. It’s confusing for Chloe to sort through, but it doesn’t hurt the same way it did. 

**

When Stacie pulls her aside to fuck in the bathroom at the Bella reunion, Chloe is admittedly a little drunk. Stacie is too or they would have just gone home to their perfectly nice apartment to get their rocks off. They’re still holding onto those last shimmering strands of wild youth and you know…sometimes shit happens.

Chloe is close, _really_ close, with Stacie’s fingers moving in and out of her expertly when Stacie says, “Oh, shit,” in a hushed tone and stops fucking her.

“Stacie, _please._ I’m nearly there!” Chloe whines, but Stacie shakes her head.

She sighs and wipes her hand off on her jeans and moves to pull Chloe’s dress down.

“What is it? What happened?”

“Beca just walked in on us,” Stacie says, grimly.

“Oh god, oh no. Then where is she? Did she just _leave_?”

“I don’t think she saw me…I don’t know, seeing her.”

Chloe’s mind is racing. This is the _last_ thing she wanted. She’s panicking, trying to rush out of the bathroom to explain herself.

“Hey, hold up, just wait a minute,” Stacie says.

“Well we have to do something, say something!”

“You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?”

“Of COURSE, I’m still…oh…oh no.” Chloe slows down, or maybe everything around her slows down. Damn it, Stacie.

“Let’s give it some time. If she acts weird, which I’m sure she will, I’ll talk to her. I knew it by the way,” Stacie says with a twinkle in her eye.

**

Chloe doesn’t know how Stacie pulls it off, but whatever she says to Beca (face-to-face Stacie had insisted) actually works. They plan to hang out. Chloe angsts over her obviously unresolved feelings for Beca.

“Just be patient,” Stacie says. “Let her come to you.”

Easier said than done, but she’s got a point. Chloe had spent so much time bending over backwards to make herself available to Beca on Beca’s terms and it hadn’t worked. 

And yes, it’s _hard_ when Stacie leaves and Beca gets a girlfriend basically at the same time. But Ally’s kind of awesome, and Chloe _loves_ her music.

Somehow everything that used to tear Chloe’s heart out about Beca in college now just seems so harmless. Who cares if Beca dates? Chloe’s been dating. Nothing serious but still, who knows if what Beca and Ally have is all that serious anyway?

**

Beca and Ally break up and it’s just such a non-issue. Chloe almost misses the drama of college. So much so that she proposes a contest to see who can kiss a hottie first on their big USO trip. Well maybe she also does it because a _teeny_ part of her wants to see if she can still make Beca jealous.

She shamelessly hits on Chicago, even though he seems more interested in Amy. That’s fine, she only needs him for one kiss. She tries to ‘guard’ Beca from Theo. It’s all a big, funny farse. All in all, Chloe is mostly just glad the Bellas are back and singing together.

Chloe doesn’t remember _much_ about her absinthe trip, just that she hallucinated being kidnapped. She’ll never forget the little speech Beca gives when they’re gathered together after sobering up and Amy spills the beans that Khaled wants Beca and only Beca to perform that night.

“I have an idea,” Beca starts, as everyone leans in closer to listen.

“I think everyone should come up and sing with me tonight. Everyone but you Emily,” Beca says holding eye contact with the youngest Bella for a moment.

“I’m not interested in being a pop star, or really even much of a performing artist. I only ever got into singing for you guys.” She says ‘you guys’ but her eyes stop at Chloe’s and they hold eye contact for a moment.

“Emily, I think you should sit this one out because, let’s be honest, DJ Khaled is going to fire my ass for bringing all of you up on stage with me. But afterward, I’ll introduce you to Theo. I think if any of us have a future as a pop princess it’s you, Kiddo.”

Chloe’s heart almost explodes at the tender sight before her.

Emily’s eyes glass over with tears as she shakes her head. “No way,” she says. “I mean you can still try to introduce me to Theo after but there’s no way I’m missing out on singing with you guys.”

Beca nods and Chloe leads the other girls into dragging her into a mass group hug.

**

The performance is great. Singing with Beca and the Bellas always is.

Chloe spies Chicago after they finish and though the stupid contest had slipped her mind, she can’t help but smirk a little as she marches up to him, intent on winning.

She grabs him by the tie and pulls him in for a pretty kiss, only to be interrupted by a tug on her sleeve.

Chloe’s too busy staring into Beca’s perfect grey eyes to hear Chicago say, “Yeah um…I’m more interested in your friend Amy anyway, and kind of thought you were gay.”

“Alright, alright you win already,” Beca says with a huge grin on her face.

Chloe feels a rush of heat creeping up her cheeks as Beca takes her hand and squeezes it.

“I love you,” Beca says, and before Chloe can say ‘I love you too,’ Beca pulls Chloe close and in front of God, the Department of Defense, and all the Bellas gives her a deep and passionate kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to add me on [tumblr](https://cameron-gray-esquire.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you so much to all who Kudos'd, commented, bookmarked, or even just read. This past December I ran into some issues with anxiety. One thing that definitely kept me going was when I started writing this, being excited to add the next chapter, and read people's comments. 
> 
> You guys really don't know how much it means to me that you went on this little ride with me. This was the first fic I ever wrote, and really my first foray into creative writing. 
> 
> I'm considering adding some one shots (maaaaybe a sequel down the line? I have a rough idea) to this universe and if you have any prompts or ideas I'll happily try to incorporate them. I also have some other long stories in the works so stick around!
> 
> Love you all!  
> -Cam


	31. A Weird Day for Gay People

Beca pulls Chloe in for a magnificent and deep kiss and feels Chloe everywhere. Her hands in her hair, on her neck, and eventually wrapped around her body, spinning her around with glee until Beca is lifted off the ground. They kiss and kiss and kiss until they fall apart elated and laughing, blissfully unaware of what's going on around them. It was everything they wanted, everything they had been waiting for, now, right there, and evermore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miss you guys lol
> 
> happy bechloe kiss day!


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